Tag Archives: Gibberish

Make Art! So… We Did.

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Time (We Plants Are Happy Plants Remix) – Hans Zimmer

Once again, my bad. Blogaruu has been on the back of milk cartons. Search parties were out. Knocking on doors. Week on the missing list. Mighty news… She’s finally returned! Wuu huu, says you. Welcome home you ape! In a feeble attempt to make up for the lack of, here are a few drip drops of names. She has been a while! Fussball has been a random old hoot lately. Woody Harrelson has now joined the ranks for 5-a-side. Sound man. Chilled beyond belief. Asked him if he read the copy of my book that I gave him before… ‘Book? (Puzzled look) What book man? Oh… The book down my pants?! That was down my pants for 3 hours man! I remember the book!’… Oh yeah?! What do you think of i… ‘Who has that book now man? Someone took it off me. I’d like to keep reading it. Who took it? Where is that man?’ Oh. Right. Someone else has it? Cheers boss. (Woody’s loss!? Obviously highly gutted. I could tell. I swear). More drips… Had a dancing game of 5-a-side tonight against the band Muse. Who were not amused at all. Seeing as our team was invincible. Controlled the game. Like Knights of Cydonia. We were victorious. Can’t think of any more lyrics. So. Ehh. Gibber on… Continue Reading »

Duh Dumb Diddle Daddle…

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Just to be clear: Here is a dumb diddle daddle on how the dumb diddle daddle. Seriously. Alright. You’re smart. We know this. You’re quite aware of the fact that there’s a lot of dumbness floating aboot the air. Out there. Real world. Daily life. Every single day. Every single way. All could and should be so simple. Instead. Dumbness everywhere. Thing is though, far worse than dumb. Come back to that. First off… Want to hear what being hit by cars, ridiculously hot girls, frogs, ferns, mosses, mongolian, yachts in the sky, poolside murders, petrol, buckets, idiots and much more, all have in common?! Yes? No? Decide… Read on! Gibber dish is once again overflowing. Blogaruus building up. Threads getting thinner. Incoherent mess. Horse on before all is forgotten! Di-daddle on! Continue Reading »

Got Stood Up?

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Last week I finally giddied back up on the horse. Stand up sit down one. Aboot time. One might say. She has been a while. By my reckoning a couple months shy of a year. Long enough. Day of the show. Usual gibber… Ah shur I don’t actually even like doing it (Still debatable whether or not I actually do enjoy it. On the day. Covering my back. You know. Just. In. Case). Followed by me wondering if I had enough material for my set. Followed by writing a few pages more worth of gibber. Quantity. You know. Just in case. Followed be a few cocktails to calm the nerves. Back. Good to go. Thankfully. Turns out to be a… Continue Reading »

Trojan… On? Tut. Ok.

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One question I never get asked in amazement is… ‘What don’t you do?’ Well. There’s plenty I don’t do. Plenty. Off the top of my head. I don’t do cars. Buckets of evidence to back me up on that one. Last time I bought a car (a truck to be exact) I ended up behind a church in Chino. Buying a bucket from a con man named Mike. Biggest bucket ever. Complete disaster. Truck was a wreck. Turned me into an emotional wreck. People have felt my pain. Relived my turbulent affair with that whure. Delighted when it was done and dusted. Particularly those who have read my book. Good old Mike. What a hunt. Anyways. Whenever I don’t get asked that question, my response is always cars. Don’t do them. Especially not Buckets. However. Since yesterday. I am now a Trojan. ‘Why so?’ You might not ask. Well. Obviously. As I now drive a chariot. Seriously. As in an actual chariot. Kind of… Continue Reading »

Singing The Booze

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Last week. A boot. Changed my life. Hopefully you just sung that to the tune of DJ and last night. As I have been doing all day. Its true though. Last week a boot changed my life. Boot as in boat. Changed as in changed. Life as in outlook. Holiday time. Giddy up. 10 days. Short but long. Not even 2 weeks. Almost 2 weeks. Mighty stuff. Couldn’t wait. Pumped! Although. What do you do for 10 days on a big old boot? Is what I was asked. Which is what I was mulling. As I packed my bag. 10 days. In the middle of nowhere. No phone. Sans internet. 10 days. Jesus. Barely go 10 minutes without checking one of those. 1 day was an unreal laugh before. 9 more? Too many more? Might it be spreading the butter a tad thin. Might be stranded. In the middle of the Caribbean ocean. Not actually sure who’s going either. Ah no. It’ll be dancing. 10 days. Wonder what we’ll do. Quickly found out. 10 days on a yacht. What do you do? You, ehh, have… Continue Reading »

Nip It. Schnip It. Ribbit.

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Quite dumb. Since a certain book has been released – like a demented goat into the wild woods of the world – the blogaruu has gotten a fair old amount of attention. Compared to the usual unfair amount. Sometimes, it has gotten more hits in the face, than the population of some countries. Seriously. Well. Maybe not some. Maybe just one. One country. Still though. An entire country?! Blogaruu is moving up in the world! Punchbag on! With all these new visitors and tourists, I have been quite clever. Too clever. By not throwing up new blogaruus as often as before. Quite clever indeed. Instead of enticing them in and try to get them to live here, I’m merely letting new folk run off. Hopefully run off and buy Randumb, but still. More people getting in their pre-orders for book two, the better. Continue Reading »