Tag Archives: Hollywood
Half Naked, Half Leprechaun, One Third PotatoLeave a comment
Can’t beat being on the front page of a newspaper wearing a leprechaun hat. Couldn’t find a version online so here’s the original gibber. Recent radio interview too where I ramble on and on and on. New book PREDUMB out soon. Narcissistic levels reaching new high.
Mountain Dew – The Clancy Brothers
Blacks, whites, Asians, Native Americans, almost everyone I’ve met since I came to L.A. claims to be Irish in one way or another. At first it annoyed me purely because their logic was so ridiculous.
One guy told me one night at a party “I’m Irish too!” Oh yeah, what part are you from? “Ohio.” Oh really? I wasn’t aware that was in Ireland. “Yeah, it’s not.” And then he walked away.
Another guy later remarked Continue Reading »
PreDumb – Before I Came To LA4 Comments
The Boys Are Back In Town – Thin Lizzy
Great news RanDummies and randumb readers: I’ve a new book on the way! It is called,
PreDumb – Before I Came To LA
Fabulous tales from growing up in Ireland and the likes. Out in March I think. Perfect for your Paddy’s Day celebrations. Prepare for book whuring to commence soon. Giddy up!
Sir, You Should Put On Some Pants4 Comments
Take A Walk – Passion Pit
So it’s a Friday night. You’re getting ready to go out gallivanting. Brushing your teeth. Doing a little jig. Hear a knock at the door. Hmm. Who’s that? Shimmy your way out, electric toothbrush still whirling away. Open the door. It’s the police. Oh Jesus. What have I done now?
“Are you Mark Hayes?”
“Who’s asking?” Continue Reading »
What A Cult3 Comments
Dangerous – Big Data
So I attended my first cult meeting the other night. As you do. They’re called The Landmark Education. Or The Landmark Forum. Something like that. Not sure. When I Googled their name one of the first links was “We are not a cult!” So they’re definitely culty. An actress/model girl I know invited me along to an induction meeting/graduation class they were having. Not sure if she thought I was a sucker or which. I knew her from shooting some RanDumb stuff recently. Told me about these great meetings she was going to, changing her life, enriching her world, making every day more positive than the next. Maybe she thought I needed some hope. Either way I weighed up my options:
1. Sit on the couch, drinking tea and watching Frasier for the night.
2. Cult on! Continue Reading »
Funk Yachts, I’m On A Bus!4 Comments
I’ll Tell Me Ma – Chieftains & Van Morrison
So it’s five in the morn. I think I’m outside Jack Black’s house. Maybe Zach Galifinakis’. I can’t remember. I’m drunk. I don’t know. I just keep knocking on the door and calling out
“Zach Black! Jack Galifinakis! Can we come in? Party still on?”
All I hear is