Weekend at Bernie’s

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Running Up That Hill (Louis La Roche Remix) – Kate Bush

Some things in L.A appear will never change. Not unless I do, anyway. Such as, people calling me by the wrong name over and over. Ever growing list at this stage. The usuals still apply. Merrick. Eric. Omar. Moved on a lot to Merk. Murk. Maaaaarrrk. Sometimes when I say my full name I get mistaken for a Mexican guy named Marquez. And then at one point someone working at Coffee Bean thought my name was America. Combination of being asked a question by two people at the same time: ‘Your name… Merrick?’ ‘So a large coffee?’ Eh, Mark – Yeah… ‘Coffee for America!’ Although another time I asked for coffee recently I got the reply: ‘Cathy? I’m not too sure. Let me check – Hey guys, does a Cathy work here? Sorry man, no Cathy.’

So that was fun.

Considering all of the name confusion that has already occurred due to my accent and mumbles (along with everyone in L.A having lazy ears, tut), I was still a bit surprised about my name morphing earlier on today: Continue Reading »

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Pre-Paradise Prambles…

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Man On Fire – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Not sure where my dose of self-diagnosed claustrophobia came from exactly. Maybe from when I was in fifth class in primary school. And for some reason a group of us were put in class with people in sixth class. The Special Ones, as we called ourselves. Too smart for fifth class! As a result, we were let run free on Continue Reading »

Sheep. Strawberries. And. Pat.

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Chigadaging – Ukulélé Club de Paris

“It’s just great that you’re back!”

Yeah, mighty!

“How was the flight? What did you eat? Have you eaten? What would you like to eat? I have chicken, turkey, ham, steak-”

Mum…

“Oh right, something healthier? I have salad, salmon, sea bass-”

No, Mum… Mum.

“We could get something else if you lik-”

MUUUUUMMMMAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!

And with that my Mum drove straight through the barrier in the airport car park. Continue Reading »

Nip It. Schnip It. Ribbit.

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Quite dumb. Since a certain book has been released – like a demented goat into the wild woods of the world – the blogaruu has gotten a fair old amount of attention. Compared to the usual unfair amount. Sometimes, it has gotten more hits in the face, than the population of some countries. Seriously. Well. Maybe not some. Maybe just one. One country. Still though. An entire country?! Blogaruu is moving up in the world! Punchbag on! With all these new visitors and tourists, I have been quite clever. Too clever. By not throwing up new blogaruus as often as before. Quite clever indeed. Instead of enticing them in and try to get them to live here, I’m merely letting new folk run off. Hopefully run off and buy Randumb, but still. More people getting in their pre-orders for book two, the better. Continue Reading »

What? Who? Me?!

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Sitting outside McDonalds, at a bus stop, waiting for a cab. No clue where we were, dropped off at some turn off the freeway. Sitting. Waiting. Patiently. Next minute, a police car whips into the curb in front of me. Followed by about four more. Oh Jesus. What’s going on here? Cops jump out of the police car. Yelling. Another car whips around a corner. All sirens blazing. Yelling. Realise. There’s a light shining on me. Look up. Police helicopter over head. What what?! Irate, highly strung cops still yelling at me. What the whating what?! ‘Get your hands up! Put your hands in the air!!!’ What? Who? Me?! Continue Reading »

The Royal Rambles

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Texts. Wonderful little things. If for no other reason than keeping a timeline. Remind you of certain things. Blurry events. Shorter form of the blogaruu to be true. Which my memory would be completely lost without. Unfortunately. If a few days go by. Without blogging on. Particularly when a fair old whack has gone on. Everything comes back sporadically. Illogical. Nonsense. Sharp bursts. Flying out. Checking notes. Scribbled drunk gibberish. Illegible. Reaching for sent items. Unfortunately having gaps missing. Missing texts is missing memories. Wondering what happened for that three hour period? Or that one? Forgetting to wonder about it. Enabling the onslaught of flashes to finally flood in. Continue Reading »