Category Archives: Random Ramblings

Smells Like Summer. Tastes Like Christmas Tree.

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Need You Now – Cut Copy

Invaluable few lessons have re-reared their heads in the past few days. Just in case I ever forgot…

1. It only takes an instant to dislike me.

Kind of odd. Take tonight. Met my buddy Chowder in Barneys for a pint. Ordered up. Standing at the bar. Random girl sitting on a bar-stool groans at me…
Can you leave?
Excuse me?
I don’t like the look of you. You’re in my way. Just leave.
What do you mean? Do I know you?
What’s your problem? Get out of my area!
(Now is when I copped on that this strange ape was instantly offended merely by my presence. Oddly, I instantly disliked her just by her mouth opening.)
So I said… Pardon? (While thinking: What a ghoul bag).
She said… Are you deaf? Get out of my area, I can’t see the rest of the bar.
So I said… Pardon? (While thinking: Her friends are quite hot. Pity she’s an ape).
She said… Are you dumb too? Do you not speak English? Get away from this area! You’re blocking my view.
So I said… Pardon? (Thinking: And her breath stinks. Three for three).
She said… Can you not say anything else? I’m warning you. Leave! You’re so ugly.
So I said… Continue Reading »

I Am A Sex

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Snake Charmer – Bag Raiders

No doubt you will remember well from ages ago in the blog, I quoted a line from Whoopi in Sister Act 2. Remember that? Obviously. You know… “If you wake up thinking about singing, then you are a singer.” Whatever you think about all day is what you are, kind of thing. Leading me to the conclusion at the time that Whoopi was profound (let’s ignore the fact it was a script) and that I was a: Writer. DJ. Woman. Well it turns out that Whoopi did not just come up with that herself on the spot. Nay. Comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson I do believe “A man is what he thinks about all day”. Discovered this today. Obviously this then made me reconsider Whoopi’s genius. And, in turn, rethink my original conclusion for myself. Do I still spend my time thinking about writing, DJing and women all day? Have I evolved? Stagnated? Regressed? What have I been doing all week? What is it I am now?! Time to figure out… Continue Reading »

Octo-Ape!

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Paganini Rocks (Feat. Au Revoir Simone) – Robortom

What an unreal week! Simply amazing. Brimful with the most amazingly pointless revelations one could have. Amazing. Take Sunday night. 5 in the morning. Big breakthrough. Shook me to the core. After years and years of thinking – nay -knowing the opposite, something finally clicked… Christian Bale and Jason Bateman are actually not brothers. What what?! Ridiculously pointless. Ridiculously wrong. For years I thought they were. Why? Because Christian Bale played the character Patrick Bateman before…? I know! Incredible!!!… ly dumb. Actually gave Jason Bateman more credit for being his brother too. Christian was the really intense actor so his brother tried to be the funny one. Good balance. I did wonder why he never said anything when it was claimed Christian attacked his Mum and sister though. Kind of odd, not sticking up for the family. And again, no sound-bite about the incident with Senor Bale and the sound stage guy? No one ever asked Jason for his opinion? Why was that, I wondered. Always found it peculiar. Now I know why. Some revelation. Amazing. What else has my brain got wrong? What other facts has is made up or misconstrued? I assume buckets… Continue Reading »

Tip Of The Night. Top Of The Morn!

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Better late than never. My top songs of the blogaruu from 2010. Not that they were released in 2010. Just that I used them at some stage in the blog. Either I really like the song. Or. I am a fan of the story that went along with it. So.. Song. Which blogaruu. And a reason why as well. Not sure how many. Short and sweet!

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Cold Balls.

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Everywhere (Psychemagik Edit) – Fleetwood Mac

First week of the new year. High hopes. Great expectations. My plan is all about “getting stuff done, as opposed to being a busy fool.” And like all loose plans with no light shining the way, this first week has gone swimmingly well. Ughatha. Week started with me attempting to get new  endeavours off the ground. Which involved the wonderful world of cold calls. Cold calls are some balls. Some balls. Not a fan. But need to be done. Reason I’m not a fan, is that I’m not phoning trying to get these folk to buy a subscription to GQ magazine. Or to change their phone line to Verizon. Nay. I’m basically calling folk, selling me, myself or something I made or currently making. Selling myself like a whure. Continue Reading »

Oh Betsy…

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Everything Is Everything – Lauryn Hill

Rattled, to say the least. New Year’s. Cat allergies. Ape man flu type thing which keeps rearing it’s horrendous head. Not feeling the May West. Betsy. Brain is working at 10%, at most. Now would be a great time to mock me. Probably have a comeback thought of by Wednesday. Quip me with your mocking stick. Quip me. First blogaruu of 2011. Amazing, I know. 2010 has been a mighty year. It is what you make of it, if you ask me. People seem to enjoy complaining at this time of year. Actually blame the year for all their bad luck, woes, misfortunes, etc. Perhaps the year was not at fault. Perhaps. Think aboot that, Moaning Marys. Not a big fan of looking back, as when I did it for the book, it involved a lot of dredging. Ending up waist high in my mind’s swamp. However, I will go back to the blogaruu I wrote exactly this day one year ago. A mighty blog where I decided it was “Time to horse a few targets out there. Not really going to be ‘resolutions’ though. The word doesn’t hold much weight to me. Resolves nothing.” I knew writing the targets down would eventually have a use! Everyman needs a plan. So. How did I get on… Continue Reading »