PreDumb Chapter – Hairdresser Hayes

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Hairdresser Hayes

I had been dreading going into fifth year purely down to Dirk coming to stay with me. The German students were due back for two weeks at the start of October for their portion of student exchange. At least we got two weeks off class at the start of the year to go do more work experience.

Despite the fact I was now sixteen, meant to be more mature and entering an important year of school, dossing off class was always a highly attractive incentive. Still, the thought of hanging around with Dirk and having him in my house was depressing. If only I had a secret indoor pool and gym area to keep hidden from him. Alas, I didn’t. The gods did smile down on me though.

Two weeks before they were due to arrive our German teacher Ms. O’ Golden informed me that Dirk had failed his summer exams and his repeats. This would mean Dirk had to repeat the entire year. He wouldn’t be able to come stay with me in Ireland.

“What? Seriously? No way!”

Did a victory lap of the classroom in celebration. Couldn’t believe my luck. The Mirk and Dirk Show had been canceled!

Ms. O’ Golden waited until I calmed down before telling me another boy had asked to take his place, Marcus.

“Oh yeah, I remember him. He got us tickets to the soccer game.”

Marcus reminded me a bit of Barney, the purple dinosaur children’s character. Tall and goofy, with a big fluffy head of light brown hair that just bobbed around as he spoke with a smile.  Good laugh when I met him that time at the soccer game before. Still though, do I want him staying with me?

“So would you mind if he stayed with you instead? It’s up to you entirely, you’re not obliged.”

“In that case I would mind. I prefer to have no one stay with me.”

Very particular, at the time. Liked to Continue Reading »

Hermit The Hog

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Flutes – Hot Chip

Wake up.

Slide out of bed.

Onto my knees.

Groan. Continue Reading »

My Bleak Week.

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July – Mundy

Bleak. Reek. Eek. What a week. Funk me, eh, peek.

So I’m out Sunday night doing stand-up in a placed called Flappers out in Burbank. Sound people in charge. No apeness. No ridiculousness going on back stage. All good. First time doing a gay centric show. Didn’t realise it was one until it began. The name – Beyond The Rainbow – should’ve given it away. I thought they were having an Irish/leprechaun/pot of gold kind of night. Nay. Gay. Good old hoot. Gay folk know how to Continue Reading »

Cold Balls.

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Everywhere (Psychemagik Edit) – Fleetwood Mac

First week of the new year. High hopes. Great expectations. My plan is all about “getting stuff done, as opposed to being a busy fool.” And like all loose plans with no light shining the way, this first week has gone swimmingly well. Ughatha. Week started with me attempting to get new  endeavours off the ground. Which involved the wonderful world of cold calls. Cold calls are some balls. Some balls. Not a fan. But need to be done. Reason I’m not a fan, is that I’m not phoning trying to get these folk to buy a subscription to GQ magazine. Or to change their phone line to Verizon. Nay. I’m basically calling folk, selling me, myself or something I made or currently making. Selling myself like a whure. Continue Reading »