Category Archives: Randumb Book

Ughatha Christie… Dumble On!

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Kill Everybody – Skrillex

Have you ever been gaily skipping down a street. Skipping high! Wonderful skips! Bouncing along. Picking up momentum. Skip on! Skip high! So young! So free! So… Clip!  Curb. Path. Stone. Your own shoe. Fall. Dumble. Stumble. Down ape goes. Holding your knee on the path. Cursing the skipping. Dumb skips. Making me dumble. Should never have skipped so high, so quick! Perhaps I’ll just chill a while. Stay down on the path. By these gutters. Lost all my momentum. All that curb’s fault. Tut. This week has been kind of like that. Quite the ridiculously annoying successfully-frustrating week. Plus my man period (rent) on top of it all!?! Ugh boots have been on. What goes up… Sometimes keeps going up and up, to be true. Which is mighty and obviously ideal. But then other times… Stagnates and floats in exactly the same spot. Like a dead frog. Floating. Bobbing. Dumbling along. Going nowhere. Wasting time. Wheels turning. Barely churning. Well that’s if you had wheels. And you actually made the effort to churn them. Instead of just waiting. Highly frustrating. Immensely annoying. Kind of like this opening gibber… Continue Reading »

Dumb Roll Please… 300. And. 1!

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Dumb roll please… Dum Dum Dumb! Momentous occasion of complete and utter unimportance… 300th blogaruu! Growing up, pushing on, going senile! Completely irrelevant. Fully unimportant. Unless you’re a bit of a mnarc. Obviously. So you decide you need to mark this occasion by doing something different. Such as your first reading vlogaruu. Well done. Mighty idea! 300th blogaruu. 1st reading vlogaruu. Well timed. If not over a week delayed. Seeing as you have troubles with your laptop and getting enough space on it to save the vlogaruu. So you buy an external hard-drive. But have no clue how to work it. Even though you have a masters in e-business. Actually did well in the course on storage. Back-up. Hard drives. All that. So you should really know how to work both? One would think so. Masters? E-which? Sure you do. Spoof. Inner monologue… Rambling on!

Moving on. Quick run-down… Plan for the reading vlogs is to read chapters from my book. Planned for a while. Procrastinated for longer. Read on. Ad-lib a bit of gibber. Give randomers an idea what the book is aboot. Whure her out. Kind of a way of giving out free books? Ish. Not really. But best I can do, en ce moment. Other reasons too. Obviously. Voice lessons are on-going. Attempting to make myself clearer, if and when needed. Reading vlogaruus can be a helping foot? Mumble off. Clarity on! Also good to get used to being on camera. Why… Shy? Ape-ish? Vain? No. Probably. Yes. Alright. Enough gibber. Currently in San Francisco. Fun. Big buckets of it. Except being minus internet. Quite annoying. Details can be caught up later. First. In a Prodigy style tone… Read with me! As you shall see, all good things start horrendously? My enthusiasm is at an all time high? Monotones are dancing? Dishwater is abundant? Ok. Shh. Book gibber on…

Make Art! So… We Did.

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Time (We Plants Are Happy Plants Remix) – Hans Zimmer

Once again, my bad. Blogaruu has been on the back of milk cartons. Search parties were out. Knocking on doors. Week on the missing list. Mighty news… She’s finally returned! Wuu huu, says you. Welcome home you ape! In a feeble attempt to make up for the lack of, here are a few drip drops of names. She has been a while! Fussball has been a random old hoot lately. Woody Harrelson has now joined the ranks for 5-a-side. Sound man. Chilled beyond belief. Asked him if he read the copy of my book that I gave him before… ‘Book? (Puzzled look) What book man? Oh… The book down my pants?! That was down my pants for 3 hours man! I remember the book!’… Oh yeah?! What do you think of i… ‘Who has that book now man? Someone took it off me. I’d like to keep reading it. Who took it? Where is that man?’ Oh. Right. Someone else has it? Cheers boss. (Woody’s loss!? Obviously highly gutted. I could tell. I swear). More drips… Had a dancing game of 5-a-side tonight against the band Muse. Who were not amused at all. Seeing as our team was invincible. Controlled the game. Like Knights of Cydonia. We were victorious. Can’t think of any more lyrics. So. Ehh. Gibber on… Continue Reading »

Hi My Name Is Mark And I’m A…

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Narc. Just in case you didn’t know. Although it might be a tad obvious. Spades shall be called. Write a blogaruu all aboot… Myself. Wrote a book all aboot… Me and my. Most of the time I live in… My head. More often than not I talk to… Myself. When I look in the mirror the first person I always look at… Me. Whose name does narc rhyme with… Mine. If ever you selfishly tell me your news, my first reaction is to think… How does or will this somehow affect me. Mull that over quickly. And then I will reply, laugh, congratulate, commiserate, dance a dance or whatever it may be. Run away screaming. Who knows. But first things first. What does it mean for me? One might call me… Narc King! Oh Jesus. Don’t blame me. Blame narcissism. Actually, no. Do blame me. All my fault. Narc on! Continue Reading »

Hey Boss… Where Me Worms?!

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Far too much of today has been spent being far too confused. Someone changing the layout of my blogaruu… What was that aboot? That guy in Trader Joe’s who just drove his car into a bush next to me… ? That girl who started sobbing while ringing up my food at the till… ? That random dude in the green belly top and pink hat on sideways, who came up to me in the gym, informing me that he too enjoyed soccer – Ok? – and then just stood there. Looking at me. Until I put my iPod back on… Go on the gym. Funk off the confusion.

Thankfully today was also a highly productive day. Fixed up the blogaruu. Bought some food. Went to the gym. And that, was aboot it. Highly productive. Although I did discover a new sandwich today. Swordfish. Peas. Corn. Onions. Toasted. Savage. Oh Jesus. Highly productive day. Exciting stuff. One of those days. Two day hangover in full crystal swing. Feeling a tad ahem-ually hungover as well. What what. Full on weekend. Big day on Saturday. Shindig all the way. Slid into Sunday. Bells ringing. People glowing. Dancing. Non-stop. Top class. Top hat on. Suit pants off. Fun all round. And that’s all I remember aboot that. Encrypt on. Continue Reading »

Got Stood Up?

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Last week I finally giddied back up on the horse. Stand up sit down one. Aboot time. One might say. She has been a while. By my reckoning a couple months shy of a year. Long enough. Day of the show. Usual gibber… Ah shur I don’t actually even like doing it (Still debatable whether or not I actually do enjoy it. On the day. Covering my back. You know. Just. In. Case). Followed by me wondering if I had enough material for my set. Followed by writing a few pages more worth of gibber. Quantity. You know. Just in case. Followed be a few cocktails to calm the nerves. Back. Good to go. Thankfully. Turns out to be a… Continue Reading »