Ughatha Christie… Dumble On!

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Kill Everybody – Skrillex

Have you ever been gaily skipping down a street. Skipping high! Wonderful skips! Bouncing along. Picking up momentum. Skip on! Skip high! So young! So free! So… Clip!  Curb. Path. Stone. Your own shoe. Fall. Dumble. Stumble. Down ape goes. Holding your knee on the path. Cursing the skipping. Dumb skips. Making me dumble. Should never have skipped so high, so quick! Perhaps I’ll just chill a while. Stay down on the path. By these gutters. Lost all my momentum. All that curb’s fault. Tut. This week has been kind of like that. Quite the ridiculously annoying successfully-frustrating week. Plus my man period (rent) on top of it all!?! Ugh boots have been on. What goes up… Sometimes keeps going up and up, to be true. Which is mighty and obviously ideal. But then other times… Stagnates and floats in exactly the same spot. Like a dead frog. Floating. Bobbing. Dumbling along. Going nowhere. Wasting time. Wheels turning. Barely churning. Well that’s if you had wheels. And you actually made the effort to churn them. Instead of just waiting. Highly frustrating. Immensely annoying. Kind of like this opening gibber…

Ughatha Christie

Phones can be quite annoying. Phones which use ApeT&T can be even more annoying. Aboot a week ago I lost service on my phone. A mast blew down in my area. Coverage gone. In attempts to fix it, ApeT&T canceled my SIM. Mighty work. Had to go get a new SIM. Still didn’t work. Brought my iPhone to the Apple store. Apparently, after tests et. al, their diagnosis was… You’re funked. Coincidentally, around the same time as ApeT&T canceled my SIM, there was a software glitch in my iPhone. Yippee and wuu all round! Wuu! Yippee!!! This mighty news that my phone would not be fixable came after they wiped my phone clear and tried to start afresh. Contacts, numbers, notes… All dumbly gone. Even worse, photos too were gonzo! All my poor art club photos. Tut. Dose. Funk. Balls. Only $200 to replace. Only? Dumb ape phone. Ughatha Christ Almighty.

Funk Phone Funk

Obviously when your phone is out of order and apes are being apes and ridiculously unhelpful, there is little to bob all one can do… Right?! Voice lessons… On hold. Calling places about this that or the other… On hold. Holding on… On hold (Oh Jesus). Big bucket load put on hold until my phone was back up and running. And until I was fully better from my illness from last week (Perhaps also until my Halloween hangover was dominated. Shhh). Making matters worse, my roommate relapsed and got even sicker (Tough going, boozing on avec the Irish!). Throat infection or something like that. Plus! Construction started in the apartment above mine this week. Hammering and battering all kinds of pipes and plumbs. As loud as apely possible. And!!! Record new highs heat-wise all this week. Almost topping 100 degrees! Roasting. Yet somehow I have a cold? And what’s that… Can’t put on the A/C? As my roommate is goosed and cold sweats or freezing or dying or something, so needs to have the temperature as is. And the cats next door are still raping each other on a nightly basis? Wuu. Good work. My apartment now a roasting hot, sticky, humid, born-again quarantine. With cats screaming along as my background music. All of which was just absolutely funking mighty. Sweet Jesus… Ughatha Christ Almighty.

Oh Cats...

At least I could escape to my friend Kailand’s house. Ease my sanity there for a while. My friend who has cats. Her apartment where I couldn’t stop sneezing. Could barely open my eyes from all the sneezing. Realising that perhaps I am actually allergic to cats. So I couldn’t stay there either. And now all possible sanctuaries to hide in are out of bounds. And chilling outside by the pool is too hot. So now I’ve nowhere to go to calm the funk down. So now my mind is trying to punch its way out of my brain and run off and run free into the wild, as far away from me and all my troubles as possible. Who could blame it. To think, all these troubles actually stemmed from my phone mysteriously breaking down!?! My phone? Oh my funking Ughatha Christ Almighty! World, you dirty whure beating me down!!! Let me go back to skipping! Not stumbling, dumbling down!!!

Sad Loss... Little Man

All in all, not my week. Ughatha screaming out inside me. Kept on going. My new mighty art club painting ‘Little Man’… Lost in a white washing fire. What else… Warming up before 5-a-side on Tuesday night… Twist my ankle. On my own, no one around, do some sort of a trick… Twist, crack, oh Jesus. Ah no, actually, I’ll be fine. Started to feel ok-ish. In the I-feel-sick-way-but-I’m-here-so-might-as-well-play, ok kind of way. Got home. Took off my boot. Oh hello baboon balloon ankle, how are you!? Another dumb injury to the ever growing list. And so on and so on and actually even more which were even more frustrating but not blogaruu bound so let’s just say all in all this week was annoying in almost every single possible way! Worst week I’ve had in a while. Woe is me. To be more precise: Ape I be. Crap week. Well. Maybe not crap. Maybe more of a successfully-frustrated week. Maybe more of a loss of momentum week. More of a clipping the curb and stumbling week. More of a dumbling week. Maybe all of the above. Making me think… Oh no. Do I hear monkeys and the FEAR and that fly I think is actually a figment of my imagination all coming together at the same time?! Oh Ughatha Christie please say it ain’t so…

Old Wise Sage Kicking

Thankfully, it was to be no. Thankfully my brain was copped on. Few wise old sage kicks into the side of the head. Unloaded a few woes. Handed back a few mighty blows… ‘So your phone is to blame for this slow frustrating week… ?’ Eh… Yeah. ‘Shhh. Shut up. Stop being an ape. Stop not doing things when there is so much to do. Stop waiting for others. Stop. Being. An ape.’ Oh yeah. Ok. This is true. Sage on. Unwobbled my wobbles. Finally realising that in the real world reality it was more of an actually-I’m-being-an-ape-and-allowing-these-small-things-to-knock-me-off-course-and-waste-my-time-when-instead-I-should-be-more-proactive-and-productive-and-start-ploughing-on-and-working-harder-and-not-just-wait-around-for-others-to-decide-things-and-now-that-I-realise-this-I-feel-mighty-once-more, kind of week. Perhaps more like that. Perhaps!

And perhaps no more of these rambles. Time to wrap up and plough on. Dumble forward! Brutal week is done and dumb. Dust that off. C’mon the productive weekend! Progress on! No more time wasting. No more wasting energy in the wrong places. And… So far so good! Today has been ridiculously productive: 3 episodes of South Park. 2 Family Guys. 1 Office. 1/2 of Dumb & Dumber. 4 pages of a book. Plus… I fed and dressed myself. Aw yeh. Look at me go! Plus a bit of Project Prancing. Phone is back. And this blogaruu! Ughatha off. Dumbling on!!!

The Show Goes On – Lupe Fiasco

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