Tag Archives: Writing

Such A F$&@^!*KING CARROT!!

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Robot High School – My Robot Friend

All has be quiet on the wonderful blogaruu. Head down. Editing on. So far, so mighty. Soon ye shall see and read and laugh and weep and dance and be merry!

Oh ’twill be a glorious day, to be true.

Besides that, I have kept my venturing out to a minimum. Bar some improv shindigs (mighty) and the odd Christmas shopping hunt (also quite mighty). Although, I did go out Saturday night. An odd occurrence: I was not DJigging. Blip in the system. Matrix messed up. Threw me for a loop. What to do? I know. I’ll just go to the bar where I was meant to be DJing, collect a cheque owed to me and have a pint or nine. Because people simply love going into where they work when they’ve the night off! Look-at-me-outside-of-work-hours, kind of thing. Clown. Continue Reading »

Bad Ass Betty

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Black Betty – Ram Jam

So the other day I rode a horse.

Bam-a-lam

Her name was Betty.

Bam-a-lam

And I rode her well.

Bam-a-lam

Great horse.

Bam-A-lam

Very bad ass.

Bam-a-lam

Clippity clop.

Bam-A-lam

Kept stopping for plippity plop.

Bam-BA-lam!

Oh brown Betty, the damn thing was wild. Betty was her actual name too, quite mighty. Bit of a rogue horse as well. One minute we’re just trotting along. Cantering on. Admiring the views. How nice is this? The next, Betty’s bolted. Galloping for dear life. Head rearing up. Naying like a dancer! Continue Reading »

Hello, Ian…

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Handle With Care – Traveling Wilburys

So the other day I walked into the doctor’s and said:

Hello, doctor Ian, I have this slight cough for a while now, can you-

Say no more, he said, just drop the pants, jump up on the bed, lie on your side and we’ll take a look. 

Down they went. Up I jumped. Over I lay. And only then did I think:

Hmmm. O-Kaaaayyyyyyy!

So that was odd. Cold. Knuckley. And uncomfortable.

But at least the cough’s now gone.

Finger Licking Bad

Speaking of fingers, there I was yesterday, dressed as a leper chaun, getting ready Continue Reading »

The Lump

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Harvest Moon – Neil Young

For all of those asking, I’ve been on a breaking. Finished up a big lump of a book draft, over 171,000 words of muck. Some chunk. Needed a break for a week. Thank you.

While on holiday I’ve been spending some time in a couple of my buddies’ studios. Working on their albums. I sat in. Watched them weave their magic. Unleash their genius. Fun to watch. Funking mighty, actually. Some ridiculously savage songs on the way. Ye heard it here first! Gems all round!!!

While watching and inputing and twiddling and singing along, I also realised that them and I are all in a similar situation. Kind of. See, they’re working on albums. I’m working on a book. They have lots of songs. I have lots and lots of words. They need to pick out the best ones. And I need to pick out my best ones. Amazing.

However, mine is a far, far, far tougher task. Obviously. Continue Reading »

The Mermaid Man

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Mercy – Edit Murphy

So yesterday was the West Hollywood Book Fair. And it went mighty! Ish. Slightly mighty. Good hoot. Bar getting the boot. Kicked out a book fair. Harsh.

So I head down to the fair. Told I’m in this area where other writers are also set up. Stage. Mic. Table. Old people. Lots of old people. Big fan of old folk. Just not my main target market.

Also situated just downwind of drainage pipes. Not the glamour one might never associate with a book fair. Pretty soon it’s figured this is not the most happening spot. Scouts are sent out. Seems that up above and around the corner is far more lively. Where all the bookstores are. Where all the people are. Where potential customers are waiting for me!

Mosey on up. See a booth with a spare table. Quick bit of bluffing. Bucket load of charming. Slight dash of chancing. I now have my own full booth courtesy of a Mystery Book publisher. Wuu. Duu! (Had to tell them RanDumb was purely a romance novel – I love myself! – so not their competition. Chance. On.)

Far better location. In the middle of the fair. People all aboot. Various sorts of booths and authors around me. Guy who played Hercules and Steve-O from Jackass directly in the booth across from me. Competition. Time to dominate. Who cares if they have lines queuing up for autographs and photos?! We have Guinness! Continue Reading »

Pubic Wig Hayes, They Call Me…

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Feel So Close – Calvin Harris

Did I mention I have a new publisher now? Dance. On! Finalising all the ins-and-outs on the Q.T. Done. And. Dumb. Book two a duu! Strict orders last week from the people in charge: Blog off. Book on! At least until I finish this draft. Unless something amazing happens. Obviously. Ergo, time for a quick embargo from the embargo. Brain is tired. Hoping that scribbling out a blogaruu will revive the beast. Eventful two weeks too, to be true. Ish. Pubic Wig Hayes, they call me…

Salt And Racism

Woke up to a text the other day: *A-lister who not only stars in movies but also produces some of the best shows aboot* is interested in your book. Apparently.

Took it with a grain of salt.

Woke up to an email today: Can we arrange a meeting to discuss the possibilites of moving forward with regards *A-lister who not only stars in movies but also produces some of the best shows aboot* and your book?

Still taking grains of salt. Big bowls. Better than a kick in the balls to be true!

Next day. Got booked to headline the Continue Reading »