Miami Vice. Very Nice.

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South Beach

Boogie Shoes – KC & The Sunshine Band

Winning Streak. Back in the day this was the main TV game show in Ireland. Might still be. Contestants would go on and spin a wheel or guess something and win money. The easy part was winning. The hard part was getting on. I think you had to buy a scratch card and get three star icons. This then meant you could send the scratch card in where it was put in a drum and each week on the show the name of three lucky contestants would be drawn. Lot of hoops. But. If you ever made it on, you were going to win something. A brand new Opel car! Ohhh. Two thousand euro! Wow. A luxurious holiday away for two! Dear Jesus. I think one extra lucky person at the end got a chance to ‘Spin the Wheel’ where the top prize was 500,000 euro. Something like that.

The wheel was basically a vertical roulette table with different sections indicating different prize amounts. A ping pong ball would be dropped in at the bottom and the extra lucky person would spin the wheel. The nation would then watch the ball dart around the wheel, bouncing along until it slowly came to a stop. Wherever the ball landed, that was your prize. Usually it would hop between 250,000 and 2,000 on the wheel, so you’d get the old “Is she going to win the big prize, is she, she is, she just won-” Ball hops one more time – “2,000 euro”. Ohhh, so close. The softly spoken presenter, who might have previously been a priest, would then say “Unlucky Mary but at least you got something. Aren’t you happy?” “I am” Mary would reply as she waves goodbye at the camera, her family in the audience hold up their banners and flags saying ‘GOOD GIRL MARY!’ ‘UP TYRONE!’ ‘COME ON THE PARISH!’

Classic show. Easy to see why Continue Reading »

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Hold Me Closer, Private Dancer

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Elton John

Dancing In The Moonlight – Thin Lizzy

Thirty minutes in. I think I might be drunk. A tad tipsy. High as a kite. On my way to skunks who are drunks town. In the non-literal sense. Obviously. Literally, I’m 45,000 feet in the air on the way to Miami. High flying. Fly in the sky. It’s early. Half seven or something. One hour earlier I was in bed. Two hours before that I was watching the end of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Mighty movie. Sidetracked me from packing though. And also meant I stupidly only had two hours sleep. So it’s early. I’m drunk. And I’m on a private jet. Oh yeaaah.

Private jets are Continue Reading »

Just The Tip O’ The, I Swear…

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End of the year. Wuu. Great time. People copying and pasting inspirational quotes all over the place. So that’s deep and profound.  Also a wonderful time of year for people feeling an immense desire to give you their Best of Year Lists. Top 100 Moments of 2011! Top 84 Songs of the Year! Top 34 of Nothing! Thankfully, I shall not be doing this. Nay, nay. I’ll just be doing the tip, I swear…

My list shall consist of mighty things that happened in 2011 that I can think of off the top of my head right now. In absolutely zero order. Pure. Gibber. Mayhem.

And we’re off… Continue Reading »

Miami, Unreal! Private Jets, Dancing! Sludge, Eh…

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Miami – Will Smith

Car services picks me up. 9 bells. Slightly late. Balls. Farewell to Bob. Out the door. Back to London. Single parenthood over. 9.15. Good to go. Off to Van Nuys. Private airport. Same one in Entourage, I’m told en route. The Man. The Jack. Chowder. Charlotta. And a late ape. Weekend break in Miami. The Man’s generosity knows no boundaries! Giddy up! Flight leaving at 10 bells. Are we going to miss our time slot because of the late ape? Nay. No check-in. No security. Nothing. Drive up to a gate. Press the buzzer. Stay in the car. Drive through. Drops you off at the jet. Hassle free. Private on. Nice jet? Unreal. Like a G6? I think so. Oh Jesus. Jump out. Driver takes care of your luggage. You can just admire the view. No ID check. No shoes off. Belt off. Pants down. Nada. Just stroll on. Sit down. Stewardess says hi. Champagne? Bloody Mary? Cup of tea? Ehhh. All three? Oh Betsy!! Drug barons must be zipping to and fro? Miami on!!!

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Should I Call It… Why Work A Job You Don’t Even Like? Or… Are You Insane?

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Fly With You (Benny Benassi Mix) Chicco Secci & Graham Wheeler

Blog break for a few days. Dose. Although. Miami. Private jet. Dancing!? Betsy!

Bob And Norm

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Bob – Drive-By Truckers

So my buddy Bob is visiting at the moment. Two weeks in LA, first time here. Go on the Bob! Now I fully realise what it’s like to be a single parent. No longer just a randumb dope on my own. Permanent plus one as well. Juggling tour guidance with work. Detached from my own thoughts. Neglecting my mistress, el blogaruu. Tough going for a Nark like myself. Which is why I’ve now taken a vow of abstinence until marriage. Better safe than sorry. Ahum’p. Like a few of my buddies, Bob has bought my book Randumb, but hasn’t read it. Doesn’t actually admit this to me, so I like to ask him what’s his favourite part and then he changes the subject (Unless he just has no favourite part! Ha. Eh. Meh). As a result it’s fair to say he had no clue what to expect of the LA way. Bob, say goodbye to Norm… Continue Reading »