Great news! I’ve found a new place to do it. In the bathroom. Mighty spot. Still a big fan of the shower. Big fan. Bed is a good place as well, of course. Just that I don’t last as long there. Fatigue is an issue. If I manage to get a quick burst, I do at least have a nice deep slumber afterwards. Pass out. Happy. Content. Anyways, for whatever reason this week, I’ve been doing it a lot more in my bathroom. Specifically, on the toilet itself. True, it can be a bit awkward. However, if you just leave the lid down, actually more comfortable than you think. Presuming you’ve never tried doing it there before yourself.
Exactly 3:35? Yes.
I am, of course, referring to pondering. Obviously. What else would I be doing these days? Full on ponderer. Sitting. Pondering. Book. Rewrite. Repeat. Trying to remember what way I actually wanted to write that one sentence. Forgetting that I forgot to write down that thought when it popped into my head. Six weeks ago. At 3:35 in the morning. How did that go again, that was a good one too. Digging deep. What was it?! Waiting. Hang on. POP. There we go. Looks good now in my mind’s eye. Thought it’d be better. Still, think on. However, with all this pondering going on, something must be balancing it out elsewhere. And there is… Forgetting things.
Ask me Monday to Thursday what day of the week it is and I will jokingly tell you to Google it. Then. Quickly Google it myself while you turn your back. Or check the TV. Ha. Joking. Obviously. Jo-king. Here’s another joke. If you were to ask me my age. Particularly within half an hour of me waking up. You might get to observe watching me do maths in my head. Quickly. Still a long pause. Finally spitting it out. Followed by a cocking of the head. Looking up at something. While I double check. Re-calculating. Repeating the number. Just to make sure… Yeah, that’s it, that’s how old I am… Hang on. Yeah. That is it. Haha, again joking. Obviously. Whole paragraph. One big joke.
All those insignificant things are fine though. Unfortunately I did forget one big thing. Until yesterday. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Into the knees. Busy thinking on the toilet. Stood up. Suddenly remembered. Balls. Swift kick. Cramps. Sick feeling. Deep in my bowels. Rocking me. Reeling. Wobbling. Waddling. Literally making me go numb from the waist down. How could I forget my cycle? Four weeks have gone by, already?! Once again. Time of the month. PMS. Kicking in. Coming up. Nooo. You whure. Rent! Not now! Particularly when my funds are out of fashion. Not really the in thing. All really out. Gushing out. Along with a reserve dam unexpectedly bursting open. And fresh water not arriving for another while. Rent… you whure!
See, the thing is, and this might surprise you. But. All the thinking, blogaruu’ing, gyming, dancing, prancing, boozing, gibbering, most of the stuff in the blogaruu, life in general basically, does not actually pay my way. Does not pay much at all. Shocking, I know! Common misconception is that I get paid a healthy salary for the blogaruu alone. Nay. Not entirely true. I donate all that to charity. In fairness to the book she chips in. Not a complete freeloader. Still not a Sugar Daddy or anything. At all. Maybe more splenda. Maybe. Barely. DJ’igging is a generous fellow. Good work, DJ’igging. But with the book, not as much time as I would like can be spent doing jigs. Finish. The. Book. Needs to be done!
Ben-ja-min, Where, Are, Yooou?
Not that I’m complaining aboot money or anything. Too big a fan of it to complain. Comes and goes. Highs and lows. Everyone would like to have a bottomless pit. Or even having a pit would be nice. Despite all that though, you would want to be particularly sadistic to enjoy paying rent, especially when it shows up unannounced. Or you forgot it was calling over. Unexpected visitor. Taking you out at the knees. Floundering. Rattled. Numb. Although I think that particular numbness from my waist down was a combo of sore legs from playing fussball, mixed with sitting on the toilet for too long. Few waddles around the bathroom. Back to being fine. Physically.
Do T-Shirts Go To Heaven?
Obviously then once I remembered about rentaruu, I went straight back to writing and being productive. Straight back. Obviously. Did not think about money at all. Did not think about what it was like to have excess. Back in the day. Buy this. Buy that. All now sitting in my wardrobe back in Ireland. Trips here. Trips there. Booze on? On me. Money. Flow on. Now. Ehhh, yeah. Did not think about any of that. After not thinking about any of that, I eventually did think about the fact that at least I no longer remember one thing. Good thing. At last. Forgot completely. Last time that I was bored? Not a clue. Can’t remember. Might go sit on the toilet. Try and figure out when that might’ve been. Until then. Song on…
I Need A Dollar – Aloe Blacc