Going Robe…

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We Are The Champions – Mariachillout

Quiet old week. On the blogaruu at least. In the surreal world, busy as usual. Vital stuff too. Such as: My ability to somehow provoke strangers into instant dislike. Going strong. Other night in the gym. Quiet enough. Only two others in there. Finishing up. About to leave. iPod on. Randomer says something to me. Pardon? ‘Are you finished with them?’ Yeah, all yours buddy. ‘Put your weights back.’ Which now? ‘Your weights. You left them next to the machine.’ Not my weights. ‘I said put them back!’ (Perhaps now is a good time to mention this guy appeared to be a gimp from the minute he walked in to the gym. Small. Angry. Balding. Purpley red head. Veins trying to jump out of his neck. Wrist bands. Ankle bands. Swinging arms. Flexing into the mirror. Hitting his head before doing any exercise. Cherry on top. Wearing a blue-tooth ear piece. In the gym. On the phone. Shouting out a conversation. While working out. Whole time he was there. Also appeared he was some sort of a spoof agent. Complete. Utter. Gimp. Continue Reading »

Shee Shuu. Ahem… The Sexth Sense.

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Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Starfunker

‎’As I threw her to the ground her buxom bounced with delight, so I gently nudged her face with my foot, leaving her gasp for more…’ Opening line of my new romance novel. The one which I am writing to tie over the folk who want to read more aboot… Schex. Shee shuu. Ahem. Whatever it is that you may call it. Something which is distinctly lacking from the blogaruu. Details, at least. Innuendos might be bouncing off the walls. But details have been stripped bare. Stark. Naked. Teasing. All talk. Little action. (Is this some sort of an innuendo by my sub-brain?! Perhaps. If so… Horrendous! Moving on!) Perhaps it is an Irish thing. Perhaps it was initially so not to look like an ape. Perhaps it was realising your parents, grandparents, younger cousins and all other folk would start to read about your adventures. Perhaps it was out of pure and utter respect for the other parties involved. Ahum. Perhaps all of the above! Perhaps. Who knows. Well. I do. But moving on.

Actually. Staying put. Perhaps I should’ve included more in the book. Perhaps there should’ve been less. Perhaps one did not think that others wanted to read aboot that. Perhaps sex does sell. Perhaps we wait and see what book two holds. Duu. Although perhaps I should set up an alternative blogaruu that tells purely of adventures in that world. Perhaps. Especially as L-Hey seems to be the most sexed up place which has ever existed. Possessing the libido of an 18 year old dude mixed with a 30 year old lady. If it were an animal, its name would be Roger. Highly revved-up engine. Not only that but perhaps all of this is then in turn coupled with the perhaps that you have an odd sense… Ever read the book Blink? When you just know something straight away but you’re not sure how. But you know. You? No? Yes? Kind of the same. Let’s just call it… The Sexth Sense!?! Continue Reading »

Duh Dumb Diddle Daddle…

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Just to be clear: Here is a dumb diddle daddle on how the dumb diddle daddle. Seriously. Alright. You’re smart. We know this. You’re quite aware of the fact that there’s a lot of dumbness floating aboot the air. Out there. Real world. Daily life. Every single day. Every single way. All could and should be so simple. Instead. Dumbness everywhere. Thing is though, far worse than dumb. Come back to that. First off… Want to hear what being hit by cars, ridiculously hot girls, frogs, ferns, mosses, mongolian, yachts in the sky, poolside murders, petrol, buckets, idiots and much more, all have in common?! Yes? No? Decide… Read on! Gibber dish is once again overflowing. Blogaruus building up. Threads getting thinner. Incoherent mess. Horse on before all is forgotten! Di-daddle on! Continue Reading »

To Know, Or Not To Know?

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Batphone

Be honest, how often do you bathe yourself? Not shower, but actually take a bath? Hardly ever, I presume. A few people might insist that they regularly have baths, as they are so relaxing and so great. Granted, they are relaxing (ish). And great (boring). But sure you do. Sure. (Now that I think of it, has anyone ever emphatically made the point to you, that they regularly have baths? I have, oddly. It was strange. As if she wanted me to know that she was above showering. She loved baths. Took them all the time. She really was that creative and care-free. Some sort of a plus. Ah, you’re a bath person. That’s cool. You’re cool.) On average, I would say most people have one bath a year. With good reason too. Showers are way more convenient.

Signing On

On Friday, my phone decided to join the rest of the country, and go on the dole. Continue Reading »