Naked Fat Man. Please. Sit Down.

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For arguments sake, let’s just imagine that my head is a room. At the moment, it’s bare. Empty. Really empty. Hard to imagine such a thing, with regards to my head, I know, but try. Anyways, all the furniture has been taken out. Except for one chair. In the middle of the room. And one guy, who’s also in the room. Running around. Like a mad man. Naked. Hyper. Riddled with ADD. Spouting out gibberish. Pouring. Wide-eyed. Rambling. Naked fat man. Now and again you can calm him down. Trick him. Get him to sit on the chair. And tell you a story. Starts off. Sounds good. Something catches your eye for a second though, distracts, turn your back for a second, and he’s gone. Jumps up. Runs back around the room. Rattling off about something new. And he won’t finish the story until you can get him to sit down again. And tell it in the way you want him to say it. So getting him to sit and stay in the chair is key. That one spot. Rein him in. Make him talk. And talk. And keep going. Until you have enough out of him and you’ve finished writing your first book. Continue Reading »

Randumb

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Brief blogaruu. Update you might say. An announcement. Drum roll. Re de de. The title of my upcoming book shall be… RANDUMB. Giddy up! I wasn’t sure if I was meant to keep it underwraps or not. Should’ve asked sooner I suppose. I have been informed to set her free. Just in case, she’s been registered. Although I don’t think you can register book names. Good work by me. Anyways. Time has come. Open the cage. Away she goes. Randumb. Go on the book! Still tweaking the subtitle…

The Random Dumb Adventures of an Irish Guy in LA

Or, merely…

The Dumb Adventures of an Irish Guy in LA

Or…

The Random Dumb Adventures of an Irish Mark

Or…

The Dumb Adventures of an Irish Mark

Ha, this kind of thing is what has dancing through my head. Devil in the detail. Which to do, which, to, do. Feel free to chime in, comment-wise. The more muddle I get in my head the clearer it might become. Although my publishers could just step in. Continue Reading »

Pea? Emm. Yes!

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Great news! I’ve found a new place to do it. In the bathroom. Mighty spot. Still a big fan of the shower. Big fan. Bed is a good place as well, of course. Just that I don’t last as long there. Fatigue is an issue. If I manage to get a quick burst, I do at least have a nice deep slumber afterwards. Pass out. Happy. Content. Anyways, for whatever reason this week, I’ve been doing it a lot more in my bathroom. Specifically, on the toilet itself. True, it can be a bit awkward. However, if you just leave the lid down, actually more comfortable than you think. Presuming you’ve never tried doing it there before yourself. Continue Reading »

Fine. I’ll Comb It.

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Who wants to hear a ridiculously pointless story?! Ah well, it’s not ridiculously pointless. Ah well, it actually is. Maybe not completely pointless. To one person. Probably just the one. Probably. Although if you are one of the many people who have ever felt the need to insist I should comb my hair, maybe you might find it of note. Probably. Not. Thing is. I just remembered. How big a combed head I used to be. Immaculate parting. Straight as an arrow. Splitting hairs. Like a landing strip. White line down the centre of my head. Nicely tanned during the summer. Brazilian. Or whichever one that is. Perfect divide. No stragglers. East. West. A combing king. King Combs! Bit of Brylcreem. Followed by a quick flick of a brush. Either side of the Berlin Wall. Little bit of a fringe. Check in the mirror. And. I. Was. Dancing! Continue Reading »

Gazing With Boars

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Without really realising it, it went from being Friday, to being Tuesday. You could say the past few days have been a bit of a daze. You could. But not really true. More that I’ve just been in a daze. For the past few days. I know why too. But I’ll get back to that. Friday night. Decided. Needed to go get drunk. My brain was milling and mulling over the most minutiae of details, for a draft re-write of sorts. Needed a break. Went to a new club opened in WeHo. Hot place. Supposedly. Haute. Continue Reading »

Simple… Steak. Or. Salmon?

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One recent day, I realised something of insignificant importance. As in very little. Especially when you go day to day. If I was to go year to year, however, it might be something. Either way, I suppose, nonetheless, a thing of some note. Roughly, it’s been about one year since I set off on my dumb mission to L.A. Dumb, seeing as I had no clue what mission exactly. (Maybe should be using ‘have’ instead of ‘had’. Ha. D. Ve).

Might not be the best time to write this, as my brain is weary. Although, I do need to wake it up, so maybe the perfect time to try and kick it up a gear. Crystal clear arguments from both sides. Well done. Anyways, I was trying to compare today, with what I was like a year ago. Let’s see the vast progress. Immense strides I have made! No longer clueless! Might do a list. Which would just blow my mind with delight! Eh, actually, I’ll hold off with that one. I may have chosen the wrong day to compare, to be true.   Continue Reading »