Tag Archives: LA

This Is What Mass In WeHo Is Like…

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Chapter 15

 Wigs, Wine & Weirdos

“Oh God. Why am I holding this man’s hand?” ’Twas the night before Christmas Eve and all was… Dead. First Christmas away from home. Away from the family. Away from my Mum’s mighty Christmas dinner. Aww. Poor little Merrick. Woe is me. All week I’ve been constantly asked, “Will you not miss going home to Ireland for it?” “Well, it would be preferred, but I’ll just have to make do.” Making sure to add, “And besides… In this economy? Hm.” That part usually confuses them enough to ask no more. Besides, I’m sure Cork will miss me just as much. Only the other day did a buddy Diane tell me, “Oh, eh, yeah. Christmas just won’t be the same if you’re not here. Like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse, so it will.”

So that was nice. Being compared to a mouse. Mighty. Anyway, last night I did the 12 Pubs of Christmas. Woke up this morning. Still full to the brim with Christmas cheer. Plan was to go to Charlotte’s for Christmas dinner. First, mass. Must go to Catholic Mass on Christmas Day, my Mum would kill me if she found out I didn’t! As it happens, two churches right around the corner from me. Go on the Google Maps. Hop out of bed. Bounce off a wall. Christmas clothes on. Scuttle around the corner. Blessed myself going into church. Found a seat. Sat down. Kneeled down. Stood up. Realised everyone else was still kneeling. Back down. Spaced out. Joined in. Humming prayers. Head spinning slightly. Saw a sign on the wall: Continue Reading »

Ode My God…

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Assassin’s Tango – John Powell

Sweet Lord. Would you look at this. A mighty RanDummy (@Janebustard) has written a gem all about RanDumb. Some odyssey. Ode on!

An Ode to RanDumb… 

Have you ever heard of Mark Hayes?
He’s an Irish guy, lives in LA.
He’s a writer of note
And I’d give him my vote
And his third book is now underway.
**
Mark Hayes has a talent you see
He is charming as well, you’ll agree.
He can DJig it too
And do stand up, it’s true
He’s a man of all talents is he.
**
So he started a blog on the net
Making notes, so he wouldn’t forget
All the things that he did
Trying to earn a few quid
And the oddest of people he’d met.
**
Mark’s blog got the name “Trickaduu”
Where’d that come from? I haven’t a clue…
It’s a pretty cool name
And deserves some acclaim
As do all Mark’s wee sayings, like “Duu”.
**
Moving on to Mark’s mighty first book
It’s called RanDumb, you must take a look
You will love it I’m sure
When you’ve read it, you’ll whure…
Or start talking Mark’s gobbledegook!!! Continue Reading »

My Piece of Crap Joke #19 (Also: Edit)

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Float – KO KO

Ever get into a machine mode? As in you are Charlie Sheen’s Mum? (Ma Sheen. Get it? Hilarious.) Today was one of those days. Mighty. Dawn to dawn. (Nice girl.) Got some amount of buckets of work done. As in… Well, nothing concrete that I will bore you with now. But, let’s just say, it’s at least like wet cement at the moment. Let it sit. Let it settle. Let it go. Even now the gibber is still flowing. So. I made a video. Because I am an enigmanure. Obviously. Joke of the Day – Wahey!

Oh. And there was also this fine spread in an Irish paper today. Me naked legs spread wide over two pages. Mighty mighty. Although I was promised a seven page spread. But I’ll get over that. One thing that is odd to see is when your stuff is edited or quotes are just made up. Never really a fan of that. In case you ever wondered what goes on in the editing world, here’s an example of a slight edit… Continue Reading »

12000+ Downloads. Yee Huu. Thank Duu!

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Super Morrissey Bros – Lazyitis

Since we last gibbered, there has been some mighty dancing. Books. Flying. Shelves. Off. Into. People. Eyes. Bodies. Minds. Souls. RanDumber came out. RanDumb got an Amazon push. Twelve thousand people downloaded the dancer in the first three days. A fairy’s tale. Infected with my feck. Spreading the good word. #1 on Amazon Humor in the US and the UK at the same time. Right up there with Tina Fey and Karl Pilkington. #39 in Amazon overall I do believe.

Whured my dear life out. Book on. Had mighty help from numerous folk. Twitter. Facebook. Forums. Bookclubs. Here, there and all in our underwear. Thanks to all who spread the word. Thanks to all who downloaded. Thanks to those who already left mighty reviews. And also, in no particular order, a special thank duu to these mighty Twitter folk for helping to spread the word:

@Janebustard @Silke_tweets @CatChaton @katybaines @moonii__ @Mellers1313 @TeamBarlliams @luv4rob @antomalachite @cp148 @luacen @bbggmum @Sheriblue @AmyGawthorpe @Nuria1966 @rocketjsquirrel @mykai @KatharineAshe @meandmybigmouth @damienmulley @victorbarry @lanlih @PeterORiordan1 @jennywho @dingadeal  @davidgaughran @eims_mc @tomholohan

Amazon knows best… Continue Reading »

#16 – Steak Joke

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Need You Tonight – Inxs

Alright. Calm down. Part III on the way. Tad busy today. Until my write is on, why not laugh heartily along to some steak humour: Joke of the Day – Wahey!

Read My First Wonderful Book – RanDumb: GO HERE!

#15 – Valentine’s Day Joke

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Wrote a mighty poem today. Felt it should be shared. Things went weird. Blacked out. Woke up. Heard the door shut. Fecking. Milkman: Joke of the Day – Wahey!

My Wonderful Book: Click!

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (With Kiki Dee) – Elton John

Walk – Foo Fighters