Mumbling, Fumbling, Bumbling Mess


Rambling on from the previous blogaruu. Have you ever thought you were going to blow your own mind? On Saturday, I think I tried my best. Not really sure why so. Now that I think about it, bit of a joke. Decision making seems to do it at the moment. Brain being torn one way or the other. Polar bears running free. Both choices are the right choice. Both are the wrong choice. Polar opposite reasoning. Unable then to make a choice. Day before the wedding. Slight running around like a headless chicken. Day after the wedding. Brood. Flock. Peep. Full on bucket of chicken. Pail full of hungover dumbness. Painful.

Plan was. Fly back from SF to L.A on Saturday. DJigging on Sunday. Conveniently then offered another gig on the Saturday night. Flight got in early enough. Would make it in time. My buddy Chowder was in the LAX area at the time my flight landed. Could swing by. Collect me en route. DJ. Sleep. Wake up. DJig at a daytime Porsche event. Perfect plan. Logistics were aligned. Good to go.


Woke up Saturday. After a great day and night. Realised I was heading back. Kind of soon. Not just any old weekend up here. Family over from Ireland. In America. At my cousin’s wedding. Rare occurrence. Another party was on that night. Gig on Saturday was offered last minute. Could be held off. Gig on Sunday was the main one. Bank balance needed that one for definite. Perfect plan already in place. At the same time. When would everyone be here together again like this? Decided to try and change my flight Sunday morning. Stay an extra night.

New plan. Fly into LAX Sunday morning. Rent a car from there. Drive to the gig in Newport Beach. Make it in time. Sounds like a realistic plan. Just cost me an extra little whack. Chowder then rang to say the gig on Saturday night was being moved to the week after. Perfect. Plan looks good. Good to stay. Everyone. I think I’m staying another night. Isn’t that just great?! Doesn’t that just make everyone else’s night?! Yes?! No. Ok. Still. Plan on!


Actually. Hang on. Driving licence. Balls. Back in my apartment. No car rental. New plan needed. Maybe. That really early flight. At 7. Get that. Get a taxi back to my apartment. Drive down to Newport then. Could make it on time. Just meant I’d have to leave San Fran at 5.30 in the morning. Besides a few hours sleep, my plan was now to change everything for about 6 extra hours. That was my plan? Or. Revert back to the old plan. Just leave in two hours as planned. What do I want to do? Versus. What do I need to do? Let’s ask everyone. Pros and cons. Equal measures. Polar bears. Logistics. Desires. Money. Memories. Can’t decide. Can’t figure it out. Shoe flashbacks. Circles. Again. Head. Twirling.

Confused. Dumb. Hungover. I’ll decide in the ten minutes. Ok. Maybe the next ten. Dinner first with my parents. Just in case I do leave now. Decide at dinner. Makes more sense to go as planned. I’d like to stay for the party though. I’ll stay. Ok. I’ll go. Sense. Go. Party. Stay. I’ll stay. Or did I just say go? Pardon. What would I like to eat? No clue. Actually. Salmon. Please. Actually. Joe the waiter… Should I stay or should I go? Do I have a third option? Actually. I’ll stay. Decided. Oh right. Pardon? That’s the time. I wouldn’t make my flight now anyways. Left it too late. Ran out of time. Staying. Best choice. Stay. Better go. Get ready for the party. Thinking. Right choice I stayed. Nonsensical choice. But good choice. Until.

Cheaper, Faster, Dumber

Concierge outside the Hilton stops me. Asks if Im still leaving today. No. I’m staying. Anyways. Wouldn’t make that flight in time now. Waiter said it was too late. Why? You think you can get me there in time? Must just leave now? What, wait? I’m staying. Am I? What? Ok. Hang on. You think I should try and get the flight? So I can tip you? Ok! Ran. Room. Packed. Said goodbye to my sister. Who probably thought I was going to the lobby. Parents just getting back from a stroll after dinner. As I was running out the room. Where am I off to? Leaving. L.A. Why? Brain melting. Concierge said I would make it! So. That means? I should try? I don’t know. Eh. Ehhh. Ok. I don’t know. Goodbye? I better go. Scuttle.

Concierge has a limo cab dude waiting. Hummer/jeep style thing. Apparently this would be cheaper? And faster? Flat rate. Flat foot. Makes no sense. But. What the sweet funk do I know about sense? Ok. Time ticking. Jump in. Pull off. Into traffic. Driver asking me questions. Me rambling back gibberish to him. What airline? What time? Maybe I’ll make it. I’m told. If not. I can get a later flight. I’m told. No. What. Stop. That’s pointless. Maybe I could leave tomorrow? Which? What? Wait? What? What am I doing?! Hang on. Pull in. You can’t? Traffic. Please. Pull in! Why did I just rush off like that? Made sense. To go as planned. Right? No. Hang on. Pull in! Driver looking at me. Like I was a nut. Me mumbling at him. Like I was a nut. Incoherent thoughts rambling out. Stay. Go. Don’t. Know. 

Looking At You, Looking At Me

Realised the driver was just looking at me. A bit of disbelief. A bit freaked. As I felt circuits spark in my head. Just looking back at him. Believing I was freaked. What am I doing? I don’t have a funking clue what I’m doing! Mind is running wild!!! Driver drives off again. Suddenly got a sense of my surroundings. Plush leather seats. Velvet walls. Bottles of champagne. Why am I in a funking hummer limo? Why am I not just in a cab? How is this cheaper? How does this make more sense?! Driver turns around the corner. Less traffic. Foot down. Cheesy chandelier hits off my head. What the funk is going on?!

Driver’s flat foot goes down further. My shoulders slump in defeat. Look. I made the choice to stay. Somehow ended up going. Am I even going to make the flight though? Look. Choice made. Look. Did I even pack everything? Look. For my wallet. Here. iPod. Here. Passport. Not there. Fumbling. Passport? No passport. Driver. Pull in. Go back. I’m staying. I want to stay. Go back. No. I don’t want to go there. Please. Go back. Please. GO BACK! Apologies. Yeah. Game over. Turns back. And finally then admits he wouldn’t even have got me there in time anyways. Good man.


Subtly went back to the hotel. Said hi again to everyone. Got a couple of confused, bewildered looks. Unpacked clothes to change into. Discovered my passport was in my other bag. All in all. Bit of a mess. Thankfully. In the end. After all that. Stayed. Made. The right call. One last night with everyone. Tried to tell a few people about my day. Didn’t make much sense. Unsurprisingly. Better off just trying to cure my hangover. Only one cure. Brought me back up to a normal level. Just about. Able to have conversations at least. Great work. Proper farewells. Until the next time. Worth staying. Big time.

Obviously that was all made up. Not such a mess. Haha. As if. Ha. Obviously. None of that happened. If it had though. For society’s sake, let’s say it was embarrassing. If it had happened. Temporary insanity. Would’ve felt dodge. Would’ve. Although. Maybe not as dodge as how I then ended up being ridden by a couple of taxi men. Ending up in South Central. And got to find out about Vaseline Alley. Yesterday was the day of dodge. Next blogaruu. Dodge on! Songs on…

Popular Music – Felix Cartal

Madder Red – Yeasayer

Something I’m Not – Penguin Prison

4 thoughts on “Mumbling, Fumbling, Bumbling Mess

  1. Huh? What? Damn, you had me going with that story! I was going to ask where I can get that jeep ride with the chandelier. Gotta have it! Bring on Vaseline alley!

    • Back in L.A, got the flight on Sunday. Dizzy enough writing it as well. Spinning while it was all going on! Dodge in front of people.

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