My Piece of Crap Joke #19 (Also: Edit)


Float – KO KO

Ever get into a machine mode? As in you are Charlie Sheen’s Mum? (Ma Sheen. Get it? Hilarious.) Today was one of those days. Mighty. Dawn to dawn. (Nice girl.) Got some amount of buckets of work done. As in… Well, nothing concrete that I will bore you with now. But, let’s just say, it’s at least like wet cement at the moment. Let it sit. Let it settle. Let it go. Even now the gibber is still flowing. So. I made a video. Because I am an enigmanure. Obviously. Joke of the Day – Wahey!

Oh. And there was also this fine spread in an Irish paper today. Me naked legs spread wide over two pages. Mighty mighty. Although I was promised a seven page spread. But I’ll get over that. One thing that is odd to see is when your stuff is edited or quotes are just made up. Never really a fan of that. In case you ever wondered what goes on in the editing world, here’s an example of a slight edit… Continue Reading »

Got Milk?

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Got Milk?

This morning was set aside to get a few small things out of the way. Run a few errands. Should get them out of the way in an hour, two tops. 4 simple enough tasks. 3 particularly basic, elementary ones. Back home then to work on the book. Easy. Could I get them all done within an hour? Ok, go…

11.00 – Arrive at the tax office. Need to sort out a few issues with an upcoming tax payment. Won’t answer their phones. Had to call in, need to find out info for one question only.

11.05 – Figure out which department I must talk to, take a ticket. #502. Wait.

11.20 – Wait. Now serving #498.

11.30 – Still on #498. Wait. Not sure the person being served speaks English.

11.45 – Now serving #500. Must only be even numbers. Keep waiting. Not sure this person can speak any language, only grunting. Slow grunts.

12.05 – Calling #502, wuu. Get up to the desk. Told that they close for lunch at 12, come back at 2. Are you serious? Grunt “Yes”.

Not going to plan. Time to try out task number 2: Get a new battery for my watch. Drive around and around and around, find a parking space. Find a¬†jeweler,¬†hand the watch in, come back in half an hour. To be safe, I told them I’d be back in two? Two hours is perfect, see you then. Looking good. I decided to kill the 3rd bird before going back to tax land. Drive around some more circles looking for parking. Find a spot. Triangular distance from the tax office. And the shop. Where I was going. To Continue Reading »