Let’s just say Ireland was like rehab. A recovery period. Quiet. Peaceful. Not much temptation. Not much to do. Few distractions. Normality. Regular way of life. Now let’s just say L.A is the complete opposite. Beyond belief the complete opposite. I think the mistake I made initially was coming straight back into the bizarre but brilliant old world of L.A. Two feet straight in at the deep end. Swimming in a sea of temptation and randomness. Barely able to keep my head above water. Too high. Too fast. Too much bizarreness. Too much, eh, brilliantness. I had slowly weaned my way off the high of L.A while back in Ireland, that the sudden monster hit I had when I arrived back almost made me over-dose. All figuratively speaking. Obviously. Continue Reading »
Nuts. Random. Surreal. I knew L.A was all of the above. I knew this as I arrived on Saturday. I did not know that I would see a new level so soon. Kind of after blowing my mind. Only on the flight over did it sink in that I was finally going back. Realisation. Long term visa. Happy days. Probably be a bit weird to be back though after being home for a good bit. I was hoping that making the quick call to arrive back for Halloween would be a good idea. Perfect event for book purposes and all that. Although the possibility of going to the Playboy Mansion is appealing anyways, book or no book. My expectations of how events might transpire were way off. Way, way, waaaay off. The past three days have taken things up a notch. Don’t think I was ready for it. Maybe if I was settled in and had a few things organised it might be different. As it is though, fairly random. Contrasting it with Ireland. Even more so if I end getting on a private jet to Antigua today. Maybe my hangover is making me think it’s all a bit more bizarre than it actually is. Continue Reading »
Excluding a bit of gardening yesterday (well, pruning to be exact) the rest of my weekend has been worked around a couple of gigs. One stand-up in Dubla, then back down to Cork to DJ. Stand-up is the definitely the area where I tend to get a bit of nerves before going on. And the area that I do the most amount of work for, beforehand. Or so I let myself believe anyways. I slowly figured out, that it is actually the area I do the least amount of preparation for, even though it is the one I should be doing the most for. I think the fact that it is only a 15 minute time slot is my downfall. Subconsciously I must just let myself think then, that less amount of time should be used to prepare for a gig, as opposed to writing, or DJ’ing, as they take longer to do. If that makes sense. As a result, when it is gig time, the pressure starts to creep out of the cupboard. Like an exam I have not fully studied for, trying and hoping to wing parts of it.
Spoon
The main reason for the gig was the fact that a producer I have been meeting recently was coming along, to check it out as part of a proposal. On top of that, Continue Reading »
Today, I watched a lot of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Maybe 4 episodes of each. Which is a fair amount when you are not just watching them. More studying the episodes really. Anyways, after all that, I was a bit spaced out of it throughout the day. So much so, I decided to throw my iPod into a bin. Unintentionally. Obviously. Once again, I struggle to multi-task. Or hold a few items in my hands, and know which one to let go off. It was money a couple of weeks back. Now my iPod. Just dumb.
Walking into the gym, I was holding car keys and towel in one hand, empty can of Red Bull and iPod in the other. I wonder which one it was that I wanted to dump. Worst part is, that I actually really focused on making sure I threw the can into the bin. Well, it seems that I focused on not throwing the keys and towel into the bin. Or the can. I think I stared at my right hand too much (something about the towel had me mesmerized) and forgot there was an iPod in my other hand. Luckily, the bin was full, so the iPod landed on top after I lobbed it in. However, as I was still staring at my right hand, I did not notice what happened at first. When I did, the iPod was already after cleverly finding a route, so that it could sink to the bottom. So that was nice. Shoulder deep in a bin, fishing through wet rubbish for a lifeline of mine. Always fun. At least my iPod survived, wuu!
Today, I got a bit of good news towards my visa application. Which is looking promising. Wuu funking huu for that. Still not in the bag, yet, but it is hopefully en route. Keep the wuu’s on ice I suppose. This did make me realize something though. Fairly obvious really. Well, maybe if you don’t tend to dump iPods, it is obvious. Which is, that the return to L-Hey is on the not too distant horizon perhaps. Still another bit to go, but round 2 is coming up. Time to get prepared. Which I’m not. Coasting along a bit in that sense. I had a meeting earlier, and I was asked what my plan is when I head back. And, being honest, I didn’t really have a definitive plan as an answer. Not even close. Kind of an outline, but not a real plan. And, you know what apes say, every man needs a plan. Or my new ape saying “A goal without a plan is just a wish!”
Today, I also read an article about needing grit to succeed. “Pick a specific goal in the distant future and don’t swerve from it”. I am a big fan of the word grit. Waaay better than that horrific word patience, which I think I may forever struggle to deal with. Patience always makes me think of just sitting around a waiting room, and having to wait to hear back about news. Grit, on the other hand, makes me think of digging in, fighting on, head down and plough on. That kind of gibberish. Patience makes the front of my head throb with annoyance when I think about the word. Grit makes me clench my teeth like a complete ape. Ape over annoyance any day! Grit on.
Not too sure why I thought “Today, I…” would be a good theme, or even a theme for the blogaruu. I will cut it loose and wrap it up. Now that I remembered the word grit existed, I seem to have a new kick of determination. Dumb enough if thats what gives me a kick on, but whatever works! Somehow today, a plan has also been thrown together for me until I get a definite answer for the visa. Write on and build up my artillery of material for the return to L-Hey. The original sitcom perfected, plus 2 spec scripts ready and willing to pimp out. You never know, maybe a short movie on top. Unrealistic? Perhaps. Do I care? Not too sure how that question is relevant. I lost my train of thought. Spaced buzz is coming back. Time to go to stare at that towel. Tomorrow on!
Song or two. I’m a bit obsessed with a remix of the Billy Idol one. And the new Arctic Monkeys song.
Earlier today I was going through some notes of mine, looking for something tremendously insightful and witty I presume. Which I could not locate. Instead, I saw the bones of this scenario, which I had forgotten about. Has this ever happened to you… You unexpectedly bump into someone you know. Small talk, long time no see, yeah, too long, etc. Then, they get a phone call, and begrudgingly take it, pointing to the phone the whole time, eyes to heaven, sigh, sigh, as if they are dying to get off the phone to whoever it is. You’re standing there, waiting, passively listening to the call, when you get a sense of deja vu. That conversation sounds familiar.
Excuses are made and the person gets off the phone, finishing up with a dismissive “Yeah, definitely, I’ll call you about it, yeah yeah, definitely.” You wonder who that was, so politely enquire… Who was that? “This dope/idiot/annoying person I know, I’ve been avoiding him/her.” Oh right. Right. Then, thinking about it to yourself, it starts to dawn on you, as you slowly remember, that the last phone conversation which you had with the person you just unexpectedly bumped into, was more or less the exact same as that one.
Obviously that never happened to me or anything. Obviously. Pointless really, but I need to keep a written track of this pointless crap. It leads on to other stuff.
Moving on, in the physical world today, not a lot was accomplished. Eat, gym, and shower, were top three main activities. However, in the telephone and internet worlds, of this world, progress was made on a lot of fronts! And by progress, I suppose I do mean baby steps. However, then again, I have eaten humble pie a good while back now and realized I have to start small and move up. Baby steps all the way!
Blog – Book Plan: Publishers are now reading over articles and seeing if they might be interested in going further with it. Progress is being made.
Blog – Sitcom Plan: A meeting with a television station to discuss the project has been provisionally arranged for next week. Progress on!
Injection of money for return to L.A: Took an unexpected turn in the right direction today, must look into it further though. However, initial signs are highly promising. Especially for the blog, seeing as, in all honesty, its legs are back in L.A.
Possibility of manager in L.A when I get back: I was contacted further today about how I’d like to be introduced to her (?). Not too sure what that actually means, but seems to be a move in the right way. Still not sure though. I asked if me popping out of a cake would be appropriate, so I’ll see what kind of response I get. And, apparently she is also Mos Def’s manager (or ex, they might have broken up). Not too sure why, but to me that seems like a good thing. Also not sure why I was actually told that too though.
That paragraph above mentions “not”, “too” and “sure” far too many times, now that I re-read it. Also one of the least pressing issues of mine at the moment. Although it would be handy. However, as with any lead like that before, the minute I am asked for a headshot, I quickly stumble and falter. Perhaps I should just bite the bullet, suck in my cheeks, and get them done. Or, as will happen, perhaps not.
It was also mentioned to me about trying to get my script made into a short movie, or an indie film perhaps. Apparently, that kind of thing is easier to get made, than a sitcom, so more food for thought. People seem to be more willing to fund movies these days. Which made me remember, that the writer/director of In Bruges, started off (in movies at least) doing a short movie, to see if he could do it. And won an Oscar for it. Which, lead to him making In Bruges. So, more possible routes are opening up. Adaptable all the way, the more the merrier!
And, final bit of progress made so far today, was that I also did further research into my plan. The plan on how to get more people involved into whichever project will be brought forward and developed further. If anyone was interested, obviously. It is looking well. The foundations are there. A small token. Time to raise peoples spirits. A bit. And obviously benefit myself a bit too. People helping the people kind of thing.
All in all, a moral of the story, might be that a lot can be achieved by sitting in more or less the exact same spot all day. Which, I presume, is why so much work gets done in offices all over the world, every single day.
Finishing up on a similar note, my buddy kindly observed to me today, out of the blue, how he could see why people actually would read the blog… “I was thinking, a lot of people would be bored senseless at work alright, they’d read anything”. No, shaking my head in disagreement, not at all. They read it for the quality and the humour of the blogaruu. Just not really this one today, but some of the others ar… I didn’t get to finish my last sentence though. He was too busy on the phone to some dope.
Unless I am mistaken, Cork, as in the city itself, is not actually a prison. Except, obviously, for the actual prison that is here. Besides that though, there are no physical barriers to prevent one from leaving. Mental barriers seem to be the only problems that might stop somebody for leaving. I wasn’t out on probation and now being legally forced back to Cork to stay here forever.
So, when people keep asking if I am freaked to be back, I can honestly say no, I’m not. Why would I be freaked? The only thing, I thought, that was beginning to freak me out a bit was that people would ask me over and over, prodding me for the answer they wanted to hear, only satisfied if I might eventually say – Freaked alright, freaked! “I knew it, I’d be freaked too if I was you.” I’d obviously prefer to be L.A right now, but what should I do, wallow around in despair and just sigh all the time? I also wouldn’t mind being on a beach in the Caribbean perhaps, there are plenty of other places I’d like to be.
Last night was my first night back out in Cork. It was almost forced going out though, feeling like I should really be out. Just back home, first time in about 6 months, plus my birthday the day before, I surely should be out having a few boozes. However, and I suppose this is a good thing, I realized that the majority of buddies who I’d go out with usually, have now departed from Cork, flown the rooster or however that saying goes. Not even the reliable Dr. Lump was around! Quite bizarre.
Anyways, went out, met a good few people that I hadn’t seen in, strangely, about 6 months, ha, good enough initially. Although when I did ask – What are you up to since last time I saw you – and got told “Ah, the usual, you know yourself shur” I did think to myself, that I have no clue what the usual for you is, at all. Gay gyms, C – Z list celebrity hanger on, and selling Super Shammys to Nazis, off the top of my head? I know it only too well!
One funny thing I noticed, especially if someone offers to buy a drink, is that people still seem to be almost offended if you ask for a light beer, instead of a pint. “Light? Are you gone gay?” Agreeing with them -Yeah, very, how did you know? – throws them off a bit. “Are you still eating like a hawk too? Jesus, what’s wrong with you?” as they put their pints on their bellies and fold their arms, looking me up and down with a slight look of disgust. Not sure really, something has gone wrong I agree but could you ask them for a tiny little umbrella sticking out of the bottle too if you don’t mind, cheers boss.
Good to see as well that so many people, who I might have thought didn’t really like me before, were so happy to see me back. “You’re back? I knew it, I knew you would be. I thought you were off wri-thing mooo-vies? Just gave up I suppose? I knew it” Thumbs up. Some randomer let me know “I heard you on the radio, you were s**t”. Cheers bud, two thumbs up. One guy in particular decided to come up to me early in the night, drunk, and tell me “Oh look who it is, the blog is it, huh, what a load of crap. You do know that nobody reads that crap. You’re back I see anyways, about time”. Good to see your eyes work well. Then, later in the club, presume even more drunk, same guy “C’mere, do you know in the blog, I read it once, who was the hot neighbour you were on about? Was she savage or what? Was your man really a Nazi too?” then stumbles off muttering “Load of crap really, I could do way better”.
They were only minor few really though, funny to laugh at all the same. Being honest, the night was grand, nothing to write home in a blog about (oh Jesus). I started thinking, maybe I was actually freaked to be back? However, it was when genuine buddies might ask why I was actually back, and I told them I was back for a few weeks now, instead of, in all probability, in 2 weeks time, was that my Gran had passed away, that I began to realize in my own head why I might not be in the most exuberant of moods. Not that I was freaked to be back, but obviously just down or sad for the reason I had to come home, who wouldn’t be though? (On a side note, I’m not sure why I type the word Gran, yet say the word Nana? Strange to me, but anyways).
Still though, being unknowingly reminded of this over and over again, throughout the night (not that it was anyone’s fault, obviously) puts a bit of a damper on the night. Which might explain why I was home for about half 1, ha, a great sign for any night really, especially one when you are not doing a sober Joe. Although the fact that the club I was in felt like the afters of a bad wedding didn’t really help too much either.
A few people were asking me as well last night what made me decide to funk off over to L.A in the first place. One guy asked me to put it in the blog as he didn’t think he’d be sober enough to remember, ha, and could read it today. Not really sure, but I know the following helped. Reading The Alchemist was one. Listening to Sigur Ros. Movies like Into The Wild. Another great book is The Road Less Traveled. None of them might inspire others, good few people would probably highly dislike all of them, but they worked for me. I must go listen, read or watch something like that now, to help me plot my prison break attempts tomorrow.
For anyone in America reading too, here are a few photos my brother took, showing off what the main streets in the main cities in Ireland look like.
I could say that this was the first song that played, that was on the first unknown burnt CD I found in my car yesterday, when I drove again back here for the first time. But, it wasn’t. It was the about 5th song I flicked onto. Either way, a good jail breaking song if anyone needs one.
Enough Talk, More Writing! 