LonDumb – Part VI (Or, Am I Being Deported?)



Continuing on from…
LonDumb – Part I 
LonDumb – Part II 
LonDumb – Part III
LonDumb – Part IV

LonDumb – Part V

Pompeii – Bastille

Eating all that paper. Not the best preparation for a flight back to America. Customs. Fully to the fore. What if they do what they did to Kailand?! But I’m legal, fully, I have a visa! I know, calm down, it’s just you might get a guy who’s having a bad day and he could screw you over somehow. But I have a visa, I’m all good! Well we didn’t even think what happened to Kailand could have possibly happened and you know how well that went! Oh balls. Me bowels. Durchfall. At least I was in business class. Paranoid but comfortable. Always key. Although I do need the bathroom.


Both taken.

Wait. Spot a guy on the other side waiting too. Obligatory nod hello. Ignores me. Nice. Standing. Wishing. Thinking. Waiting. Did I ever Continue Reading »

LonDumb – Part V (Or… Why Did I Eat Paper?)



(Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I LonDumb – Part II LonDumb – Part III LonDumb – Part IV)

Walking On Broken Glass – Annie Lennox

Pa Ranoid they might call me, if my name was Pa, Paddy, Pat or Patrick. Thankfully, it is none of the above. But I am paranoid. And I’m in a hotel lobby. On my final morn in London. Waiting for a car to show up to take me to the airport. Wondering whether I should just eat all this paper? Or… Can’t see any other option really.

So the day before Continue Reading »

High Five. You Goat. Hug My Ear.

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One other downfall that I forgot to mention yesterday, with regards to DJ’ing, is that the day after, I feel highly hungover. Even more so when I don’t drink. Completely wrecked. And end up having the productivity levels of a sleeping goat. Like I did all day today. I’m not going to harp on again about the bewildering aspects of people and their requests. Still though, for it to keep occurring on a nightly basis, has me questioning the average person’s mental state. Then wondering, perhaps, is it my own that is the problem. Not sure where the fault lies.

After overhearing one girl tell her friend that it was her mission to annoy me for the night, the only logical reason that I could think of why so, was that she must’ve read the blog, and thought it would be funny to do it? Why else would a stranger go out of her way to do that? However, after briefly speaking with her, I soon realized that she was definitely not up to the reading level to do so. She was an idiot.

Speaking of idiots, Continue Reading »


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Border Control

To all those who have stuck with the blog through the dark ages of being back in Ireland, I have some good news. The light is beginning to shine at the end of the tunnel. After a long and em, fun wait for the past few weeks, I finally had my visa appointment on Friday. It was a long and nervous event, so I’ll try a new brief technique…

Sleepless night. Wrecked. Porridge. Eggs. Protein shake. Coffee. Dodge. Nerves. Stomach. Rumble. Queasy. Embassy. Searched. Frisked. Entry. Early. Waiting. Forms. Letters. Photo. Photo? No photo. No joy. Start again. Continue Reading »

Hello, Small Talk, Goodbye. Hello Again!

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Today has been spent taking care of annoying little errands, in preparation for tomorrow. Which I achieved, surprisingly, with immense efficiency. All went to plan. Big day tomorrow. I’ll give you a clue… starts with v, ends with ah. I and agra in the middle. A new batch is being delivered in the morning, hopefully. As I managed to take out my bundle of small tasks so well, I had plenty of time to notice small, innocuous, pointless, yet interesting little things. Wuu. Such as…

The wonder of small talk. 

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Fail Whale

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Yesterday, writing wise at least, was fairly productive. I must admit I felt invigorated having a project to get stuck into. As I bounced out of bed this morning, I had high hopes for another day of the same. These hopes were quickly dashed. Checking emails first thing in the morning might have to be cut out of my routine. First email was from my accountant. In case you might not know, technically speaking, I have my own translation company. A checkered past. If you need any documents translated from German to English, you now know who to come to. I specialize in gun manuals as well. Strange but true.

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