Hello. Wake Up!

Leave a comment

Dopey

Last night I DJ’ed at what can perhaps be described as the equivalent of a parochial church gig. In fact, that is how one person described the size of the crowd to me. For the first hour at least, dead enough, but it suited my hangover and splitting headache, so I didn’t really mind. Eventually it got busy. And, for a change, there were a few good looking women requesting songs throughout the night. Who didn’t reek of fake tan and sweat. So that was nice. For a change. By the end of the night, I was dying to go home and sleep. However, after getting home at about 2.3o, I ended up staying up until 5. Why? To write yesterday’s blogaruu. Like a zombie, typing away. More like a clown really. Eventually went to sleep. And then woke back up, to edit another piece of writing I did. In the end, by the time I woke up this morning (stretching the limits of what counts as morning to be honest) I was probably Continue Reading »

I Have A Dream…

2 Comments

I Have A DreamA buddy of mine always seems to sense when I am hungry. Just as I might get a pang of hunger, right on cue, the buddy would see if I wanted to go with them for something to eat. Sounds good. Lets go. Lets go eat. The problem was, I would inevitably find out, that it was never a straight forward scenario of just going somewhere to eat. Without fail, there was always something else. A shop where we had to call into quickly on the way. Then one more place next door to return some other item. While we’re in this area, can we just get one more thing. It will only be 5 more minutes, 55 tops! Sorry about this, food is on me for all the commotion. Always, always, always happened. Obviously only one person at fault… me, for not copping on after the second time that this was the way it was going to be. Saying we were going to get something to eat. But not actually eating for a long, long time after what was first planned. In the end, I’d end up in the pub, drinking my sanity back after yet another run around. Continue Reading »

Got Milk?

Leave a comment

Got Milk?

This morning was set aside to get a few small things out of the way. Run a few errands. Should get them out of the way in an hour, two tops. 4 simple enough tasks. 3 particularly basic, elementary ones. Back home then to work on the book. Easy. Could I get them all done within an hour? Ok, go…

11.00 – Arrive at the tax office. Need to sort out a few issues with an upcoming tax payment. Won’t answer their phones. Had to call in, need to find out info for one question only.

11.05 – Figure out which department I must talk to, take a ticket. #502. Wait.

11.20 – Wait. Now serving #498.

11.30 – Still on #498. Wait. Not sure the person being served speaks English.

11.45 – Now serving #500. Must only be even numbers. Keep waiting. Not sure this person can speak any language, only grunting. Slow grunts.

12.05 – Calling #502, wuu. Get up to the desk. Told that they close for lunch at 12, come back at 2. Are you serious? Grunt “Yes”.

Not going to plan. Time to try out task number 2: Get a new battery for my watch. Drive around and around and around, find a parking space. Find a jeweler, hand the watch in, come back in half an hour. To be safe, I told them I’d be back in two? Two hours is perfect, see you then. Looking good. I decided to kill the 3rd bird before going back to tax land. Drive around some more circles looking for parking. Find a spot. Triangular distance from the tax office. And the shop. Where I was going. To Continue Reading »

Actuary. Actually? Not Exactly…

Leave a comment

Einstein

As I am sure you are all already aware, my favourite subject in school used to be Maths. Or, Math, for any Emericano readers. Common knowledge, first topic on my Wikipedia page. You could almost say Einstein was my hero. But he wasn’t. Still though, for whatever reason, I used to get a good buzz out of solving a tough maths equation. That deserves a ha. However, it is true. Who needed drugs, when a maths buzz was enough to keep me happy. To this day, if I ever I am in a situation where I need to kill some time, I will just start multiplying figures in my head to keep me entertained. Works too if you need to zone people out. There was even a stage, a lengthy one in fact, that I was gearing up to study as an actuary in college. Imagine the women flocking when you subtly mentioned you worked in life assurance. Plus the lure of the salaries which actuaries were supposed to make in their first year, tickled my fancy even more. Back when I thought money was cool. What an exciting life that would’ve been… Money! Women! Life assurance! Would’ve been tremendous fun. Continue Reading »

High Five. You Goat. Hug My Ear.

Leave a comment

Goat

One other downfall that I forgot to mention yesterday, with regards to DJ’ing, is that the day after, I feel highly hungover. Even more so when I don’t drink. Completely wrecked. And end up having the productivity levels of a sleeping goat. Like I did all day today. I’m not going to harp on again about the bewildering aspects of people and their requests. Still though, for it to keep occurring on a nightly basis, has me questioning the average person’s mental state. Then wondering, perhaps, is it my own that is the problem. Not sure where the fault lies.

After overhearing one girl tell her friend that it was her mission to annoy me for the night, the only logical reason that I could think of why so, was that she must’ve read the blog, and thought it would be funny to do it? Why else would a stranger go out of her way to do that? However, after briefly speaking with her, I soon realized that she was definitely not up to the reading level to do so. She was an idiot.

Speaking of idiots, Continue Reading »

Fail Whale

Leave a comment

Yesterday, writing wise at least, was fairly productive. I must admit I felt invigorated having a project to get stuck into. As I bounced out of bed this morning, I had high hopes for another day of the same. These hopes were quickly dashed. Checking emails first thing in the morning might have to be cut out of my routine. First email was from my accountant. In case you might not know, technically speaking, I have my own translation company. A checkered past. If you need any documents translated from German to English, you now know who to come to. I specialize in gun manuals as well. Strange but true.

Continue Reading »