Connie & The Connor


After a mighty night on Friday, I woke up early-ish Saturday to play a DJ gig with my buddy. Slowly opening my eyes expecting to see the gin monkey lurking. However, oddly, nowhere to be seen. As in nowhere whatsoever. In fact, I was dancing. Normal hangover. Tired. Flash points of incidents coming back throughout the day. A lot of ‘Oh yeah!’ And rambling. Our drive down to the Porsche store where we were playing was full to the brim with endless and non-stop rambling on to each other. Coherent rambles. Just non-stop. Each of us taking the baton for every ten minute change. Good old hoot. Not such a great hoot when I realised I forgot my headphones for the four hour gig, but I survived. Daytime DJ gigs on!

Fashion On!

Must admit, I am becoming a fan of these fashion gigs. Productive way to beat a hangover. Good way to make the bobs as well. Could be the way forward. Our budding DJ partnership could be going global soon! Finished up the gig, then headed back for another night out on the town with The Man. Basically dropped off our gear, threw on a shirt, and straight back out the door. Keeping on the go might have also helped through off the gin monkey on the shoulder. Couldn’t keep up. Run on! Anyways, car picked us up and we were on our way to a fairly tasty sushi place, Koa. After yesterday’s stories of mostly good stuff though, I doubt anyone wants to read about how nice the food was or any of that boring malarky.

Anyways, during the meal I was getting texts from a girl I met the night before, the blonde waitress. Who I personally thought was pre-tty hot. Best of the bunch. Plus, she had a bit of banter. Meal finishes up, and time to go find another place for a drink. Subtly threw out… how about Teddy’s? Eh, not great on Saturday, was the response. Ah, it’ll be good, come on we go there… Why do you want to go there so much? No reason, just haven’t been in a while, should be good… Well, maybe so… Another glass or bottle of wine… so are we hitting Teddy’s?! I told that girl we would be! ‘So that’s the reason.’ Oh yeah, ha, it’ll be good though, Teddy’s on!

Are You Sure...? Yno!

Clearly, it was kind of my call for us to go to Teddy’s. My call. 100%. Which made me realise, emmm, Teddy’s better be good, now that I’m bringing everyone there. It will. It was great the last time I was there. We get to Teddy’s, slight queue. Buddy has a word with the girl at the door. Well if your group wants to come in now, ye must get a table. En route to our table, I realise that the place is kind of only half full. And kind of a young crowd. And kind of looks crap. Which is when I remember that the last time I was there, it was a Friday. Not a Saturday. That’s right, now I remember, Saturdays are crap in there. Mighty work by me.

What I didn’t realise, was that the majority of our group had only wanted to go to a bar for one drink only. Intended on heading back to their hotel for the rest of the night then. One drink only. Getting a table to get in at the time and not queue, came with a price. Let’s say the the first round of 6 drinks cost 100 bones. There was a tab now left for about 24 more drinks. The price of the table. The Man, who had taken care of it, had only wanted one drink as it was. Drank it. Left. As intended. Not only had I brought everyone to a club on a crap night, to meet a girl only I wanted to meet, it had cost an arm and a leg for us to get in. For just one drink?! I felt like some ape. A ridiculous chump of an ape. At the very least, I could have brought us to somewhere rocking! Felt like I had mugged the group. Conned them. I was the conner! Unintentionally. But still.

Catch Free!

This is how crap the club was on the night. Three of us were now left with a table, and a chunky bar tab, in a supposedly good club. Told to booze on. Time running out. Must not completely waste the money. What to do? Get women over. Plough into the tab. 24 is a fair few drinks! Except, this wasn’t a movie or a t.v show. Where you might imagine those ingredients might lead it to be a great night. Table turns into the life and soul of the club! Nay. Here, there were very few women who fitted the bill. More importantly, very few who understood why a gibbering ape was inviting them over to help finish off a tab, no catch involved. They wanted a catch it seemed. Expected one. I can see their point. Usually, they might have to work hard to get this offer. Odd to be gibbered over, catch free. Other alternatives? Invite a group of guys over for a drink? ‘Hi fellas, want a beverage? Come over to our table. Fabulous if ye did.’ Nay.

In the end, two fairly sound Canadian girls came over. Did a round of shots with us. Told me about their boyfriends. One spilt a shot on me. And we ended up getting out of there about ten minutes before the place even closed. Minus the two other girls. Obviously. Lights come on at 2. I was home for about five to. Bit of a let-down. To say the very least. Oh, and I think I may have forgotten to mention that I didn’t even see the girl I was meant to meet in there. I wonder why that slipped my mind until now? Once again, great call by Connor!

Today's Date?

Next time, I’ll stick to my usual tactic of going with the flow. No more making plans. No more of Connor. Although tonight, I think I might have been turned into Connie. As in, I think, I was conned into a date. 99% sure I was done. Asked fairly last minute to DJ at a party a friend was having. A girl who has been sound out to me, hooking me up with gigs in the bar she manages. Nay bother. Venue sounds cool. Roof-top patio of a restaurant. Only on until 11 as the restaurant closes then. Short. Easy. Let’s dance.

However, showed up, things seemed odd. Firstly, there was a Mexican theme to the party. The girl I knew was wearing a big yellow dress that looked like a wedding dress. Apparently that was part of the theme. Part of the joke. Ok. That was not the odd bit. I was told to have a drink first. Set-up my gear in a while. Ah shur, I’ll just get going now that I’m here. ‘Relax, here, I bought you a drink, I’ll find out where it is you are meant to set-up in a minute.’ Yeah, ok, cool, whatever. Half an hour later… So, what’s going on? ‘Relax, meet my friends, want another drink?’ Hang on, you said the place stops serving at eleven, right? And it’s now coming up to half nine? What time do ye have to leave? ‘Yeah. Good point. Maybe you should just drink and mingle instead? Relax. We’ll just go drinking together. It’ll be fun. Don’t worry about DJ’ing.’ Now. There we go. This feels kind of odd. Very odd. Not too worried about DJ’ing. More about what is going on?!

Maybe it wasn’t a date. Maybe there is a simple reason for it all. May be. Sure. Quick escape route was found. Thanks for the booze, eh, good duck. Connie off. Connor off. Savage song on…

Who Is He (Henrik Schwarz Remix) – Bill Withers

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