Monthly Archives: July 2009

Reality Cheque

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Over the weekend, I realized it was time to take stock. Regather, regroup and all that. For some reason I left myself take a battering mentally last week. I am still not entirely sure why I let myself run around my own head so much. Perhaps it is to do with the fact that I am back in a culture, where what I am trying to do, feels fairly alien. Not saying it is a bad thing. Just that it is far different trying to “live the dream” in Cork, as it is over in L.A. In L.A, every second person I met was in the same boat as myself, trying to climb the ladder in that world and get ahead. Or, they were already successful people in a boat way ahead of mine. Highly competitive and all that, but still good to be around, drives you on more kind of thing.

Back in Ireland, I do feel like I have even less of a clue as to what is going on. Perhaps, this is down to knowing far less people here, who are in a similar line of work, that I am trying to do. Bar speaking to a friend who works for a newspaper, I don’t think I have spoken to one writer, be it for film or t.v. My fault, obviously, I could go hunt them down. However, whereas in L.A, you just meet this people on a daily/weekly basis, and it doesn’t feel forced, in Ireland, for me so far, it does. I am coming at these people with queries and questions, and offering little in return. Which leads to the same type of answer “Shur what do I know really, I’m not much help to you”. Cheers.

Therefore, I have little to no insight as to how I am progressing in my meetings, etc, back here in Ireland. For example, I recently had a meeting with RTE, about the possibility of doing a blog-like segment, for a new show which they are producing. Went well, good feedback, asked for a proposal and so forth (if you clicked, that was who Rita was in previous posts, great disguising by me, ha). Since then though, it has been the waiting game, which is part of the process and all that. I presume. Who knows? At least in L.A, I can bounce these sort of situations off people, and gauge their reaction as to how much progress that actually is, or how good the situation does, or does not, look.

Another door of interest has been shown by a second t.v station, Gina G we’ll just say. The door has been opened at least. So, again, I must put together a proposal, DVD, outline etc, and see how that goes. All taking a chance really and seeing what may come from it. The key for me is realizing that it is a lengthy process. And I am just at the start of it, by getting an initial meeting with these people. However, this is something, which, no matter how many times I try to tell myself, I have still not fully come to terms with. Maybe this is what was giving my head such a frying last week. The not knowing where I really stood, on a number of different fronts, was driving me mental. 

I’ve also been working on sorting out a longer visa for myself. Which is moving in the right direction. There are 2 options, for me at least. One is a D.J sponsorship option, which is a bit expensive, and not sure if my cheque book can afford it at the moment (worked the title in seamlessly, isn’t that lovely). If needs be, it is do-able though. The other option is a writer’s visa. A few things are needed for this one, but costs far less. Far, far, far less. After much (little) deliberation, I am now trying this route first. Which looks hopefull, but, again, I have to play the patience game, and wait for people to get back to me with further info. I have the limbo dance down to a tee at this stage.

In other areas, too, it is kind of the exact same. First one group show interest, then another, meetings go well, then the patience and time factors kick in. Having all of these circumstances, at the exact same time, is tough enough. Having no clue where you really stand, is not as much fun as you might think. I’ve used the metaphor before of it being like when you are trying to hook up with someone you like. Texting, flirting, back and forth, is it going to happen, is it not, who knows, who cares? Imagine that, but way, way, waaaay more. As in way more. As in almost every major aspect of your life is currently in that limbo state. And you do care. Plenty more fish in the sea, but it would be good if one of these gave the green light. Just have to wait and find out. Some funking hoot.

Now, it is time to get proactive. I’ve had the reactive buzz going on all week. And, worst part was, I didn’t get much news to react to. So, just traveled around Ireland, frying my brain. Thankfully I realized it was time to move on from that frame of mind. I shall now be making more use of the time I have in limbo. More on that in the coming week, as this blogaruu has been long enough. 

Mucho gracias to @fiscalstudent by the way, for giving me some good feedback over the weekend, blog related. Highly appreciated it. And also, mucho gracias to the show I just watched on t.v about Graham Linehan, writer/creator of Father Ted, amongst other shows. That hour alone has given me more insight than anything else I’ve managed to get since being back in Ireland. Such as, he does some of the weird things I do as well, while writing. Maybe I’m not losing my mind after seeing his processes and peculiarities. We’re almost alike. Except of course, as I presume you are just saying to yourself, he is married. I am not. Oh, and, perhaps, that he has a few successful shows under his belt. I do not. Yet. Duu.

Song of this long blogaruu day, is also long, but worth listening to all the way through. It is pretty savage.

Phoenix

Love Like A Sunset - Phoenix

Water Works

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All in all, it has been a tough week. And I don’t mean tough as in I have been down a coal mine for the week, slaving away, hard labour. Tough, in the mental way. Looking to my corner, wondering should I wave for the towel to be thrown in, kind of thing. Luckily, in the past few days, I have been reinvigorated. and the dream lives on! However, that can wait until the next blogaruu. Seeing as it is Sunday, a day of chilling, I’d like to talk about another gibber-issue which cropped up again this week. 

The first issue is not a recent problem. It has followed me around all my life. The past few months have highlighted it considerably, wherever it may be that I have been. Up and down California, Mexico a couple of times, in and around Ireland. No matter where it is I arrive to, whatever new place it is, usually, within about 30 minutes of arrival, the problem occurs. And I end up naked, cold, frustrated and confused. For at least 5 minutes. Hazarding a guess, I would say I’m not the only one with this problem. Then again, maybe I am. Anyways, I think its time for a change. Surely, in this day and age, showers should be made into a universal form. Like taps are, more or less. Or toilets. 

However, they are not, and they continuously confuse me. I always forget as well, so strip down and get into the shower without even thinking about it. Then stand there, with a feeling of confusion growing inside of me, while I look blankly at the knob in front of me. Not that one, obviously, the shower knob. Again, this week, in my hotel in Galway, the same thing happened. As it did in the place where I stayed in Dublin. In Galway, when I turned the knob one way, the light in the bathroom switched off. Turned it back, the toilet flushed. Whenever I enquire how the shower actually does work, the answer is usually the same “Did you pull the knob out? Yeah, pull it down first, then out, then to the right, and back in. It should work then”. It doesn’t. Unless I am actually shown, it never does work. The best I can ever hope for, and most I can ever manage to get, is a cold trickle of water, preferably coming out of the shower head. At times though, showering with the water from the tap in the sink is the easiest option. Which is awkward enough when washing a mop of hair. 

It wasn’t that the hotel was a cheap, run down, old place either. It supposedly is a 4 star but I’d say 3 max. Nice though. And they oddly gave me almost a half price discount. Seeing as they somehow presumed I was from the Aran Islands? Which I obviously was, when the lady asked, so I got a chunky discount. Another weird thing about the hotel, and I have noticed this in other places too, is the way they still supply shower hats, but not toothpaste. I presume a lot more people would use toothpaste over the shower cap. Then again, seeing as it was there, I decided to make use of it. Just in case any water from the sink splashed up unexpectedly, while I had my sink shower.

When traveling around place to place on my own, trying to keep the dream alive, I have far too much time to ponder about all this vital stuff. Such as, the fact that I am not the fan of public bathrooms. Then again, who is, really? Not saying I have agoraphobia or anything. I just doubt that if someone was to be asked, where their favourite place in the world might be, they would actually reply “The bathroom down the local bus station”. This week, issues with moving bathrooms have cropped up. At least with stationary public bathrooms, you can walk away, eventually, from the problem e.g getting locked into one. Moving bathrooms, however, tend to be moving with you for a while, so the problem stays longer.

This stems from a few incidents this week. One was on the bus to Galway. Seated half way down the bus, I realized I was in fact next to the bathroom. Happy days. Made no difference really, until one special guy went in, about an hour into the journey. Not really sure what he was doing, but it sounded like he was given birth to a monkey in there. Honestly, the loudness of his grunting et al, was audible to most of the bus. When he eventually came out of there, after a lengthy birth, he was greeted with a few laughs and claps from randomers (I presume) on the bus. Which he managed to laugh at. And, he also had the last laugh. Particularly on myself and the guy next to me. Who got lumped with the odor for the final 2 hours of the trip. Happy days.

A similar incident occurred on the train up to Dublin. A quite unfortunate incident. A quite good looking Spanish girl was sitting next to me on the train. And she was wearing what I think are called groin high boots. That was not the unfortunate part. Or the bit that our small talk here and there went well. The unfortunate part was that after I woke up from a kip, I went to the bathroom. Which was occupied. Unfortunately, the same Spanish girl emerged from the bathroom. Where, it appeared, she had given birth to a rhino. It was horrendous. Obviously cant be fully sure it was her, but as no one else was around, and it was so immediate, she was guilty by association. When I sat back down, those boots, and her smile, just no longer had the same charm. Then again, me unknowingly leaving my zip undone, was probably equally as charming for her. Win win. 

End of my gibber-issues. Tomorrow shall be back on track to pursuing the dream. Time to re-focus, starting with the blog! Two songs to well and truly chill one out.

If you didn’t download it from the link the other day…

Boy 1904

Boy 1904 - Jonsi & Alex

And a song from a supposedly class song writer, never heard of him until recently… You Saved My Life – Cass McCombs

Touring

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If I thought my traipsing all over L.A was tough enough, it is far harder back here in Ireland. At least in L.A, I found myself a hub (WeHooooo) where I could walk to most places. Even if it was an hour’s walk away. On Google’s map paper, it is well do-able. The problem is that while being back in Ireland, I am based out of Cork. Where not too much happens, in the world I am just to bust into. So, meetings are usually held in Dublin. Weekly trips to Dublin are actually a good laugh, don’t mind them. Sometimes though, conveniently, meetings are held in Galway too it seems. The day after a meeting in Dublin perhaps. Handy, handy. Tours of Ireland are always fun.

Best part of all, is the way one gets from Galway to Cork… bus on! Train to Dubla from Cork. Bus to Galway, wifi on-board, from Dublin. Then a bus back down to Cork from Galway, as there seems to be no other way. 

I have realized that the problem I am developing in Cork is slipping back into my old routines too easily. The rut is calling me! More and more programs of mine are now being recorded on Sky Plus. My sleeping patterns and daily activities are heading back the way I was before I headed to L.A. I have also noticed that I am not seeing hot, new women while out in Cork. Same as before so! Era shur, I’m only joking! There are plenty of hot women from Cork. Just no new hot women in Cork.

Getting the train up to Dublin, I started to wonder was it really worth it. Going up to Dublin, to drop in a 5 minute DVD, that really the postman could’ve done. But, just to be sure it got there on time, and to try and make another good impression when I met the person, I thought it would be best to head up and hand it in, in person. Great call. Fleeced by a company in Dublin to burn one DVD. €25 for a 5 minute DVD (not even fully 5 minutes) of my stand-up “highlights”, ha, so far back in Ireland. At the time I was in such a rush that it never clicked. Now though, all those helpful smiles and best of luck comments, and then charge me that much. Some joke. You can buy 6 copies of Superbad in Golden Discs for 24 bones. And, more importantly, that DVD is actually funny.

This morning I headed off to give Rita my DVD. Pumped, yet shattered from lack of sleep and being up so early. It was a highly strange combo. Anyways, I get to the place nice and early, unlike me. My good intentions did not quite go to plan. I was asked to have it in before a meeting that was going ahead on Thursday morning. As it turns out, I was far too early for the lady who wanted the DVD, before she went to the meeting to show it to others. I’ll wait around. Yeah, she should be in, in about 2 hours time maybe. Not too sure. Good stuff. Just wait around. In the end, I just met a girl who works with her, and gave her the DVD instead. I am an efficient postman if nothing else. All the way up to Dublin, for nothing. Some waste of time. 

Next port of call was onto Galway. Meeting with Tina on Friday, plus an informal meeting with a director/producer. Network on at the Film Festival and all that! I arrive into Galway at about 5.30 from Dublin, go straight to my hotel, and check my emails. The job, received an email at almost exactly at the time I arrived into Galway, telling me that my meeting with Tina, scheduled for the next day, was cancelled for some reason. The funking berries. I was giving the person’s phone number instead, and could do it over the phone if I like. Wuu. A phone call. Can’t they be made from Cork too?

Touring Ireland for absolutely no reason. Reading that email made me feel like a complete idiot. Being honest, I was pretty close to a nervous breakdown. I could feel my mind frying. Instead of letting that happen, I ended up just trashing my hotel room. T.V out the window, messed the sheets around a bit, and left the toilet sit up. It was a mess. Well I did all but one of those things. 

However, luckily, I can be a clever idiot at times. For some reason, my brain kicked in. Sent an email to the lady in charge of the festival. One thing led to another. Ended up being invited  for drinks, a meet and greet, before a big dinner that was going on in a hotel near mine. And, conveniently, the person I came up to Galway to meet, would be at the drinks shindig. I could now meet him there instead. Wuu huu. Time to bring out the charm!

Thankfully, the informal meeting, in the quiet corner of the packed room, went very well. More information has been asked for, interest shown, up to me to deliver, blah baa baa. That 20 minute meeting made the two days of traipsing around the country well worth it. Celebrate the small victories kind of thing. Did a bit more networking for myself while at the drinks shindig. Directors, producers, and even a gay couple, who looked a lot like the couple from Mexico, were all giving me their business cards. Speaking of which, I still need to get my own made up. It is below buying a new pen on the to-do list. I just gave them my blog address in return. A mighty calling card!

Something else kind of made the 2 days of touring all seem worthwhile. Night ended normal enough. Kind of. Some guy I recognized from t.v, real country guy, no clue of his name though, started singing Dirty Old Town with me at the bar in a rowing club (random enough?). Apparently I was singing it to myself (again… ? Maybe a defense mechanism for knowing no one at these things) So, he decided, in between asking me questions in Irish, that we should both horse into a full on song. Good laugh, arm in arm with him at the bar. Me sober. Him paralytic. Me departing. Him falling off the stool. Me coming back to write my business card address on his hand. All about the networking, making my mark.

There was a better point in there that would’ve wrapped it all up nicely. However, due to being tired beyond belief, it eludes me at this moment. So, a song will have to do…

Best Coast

Sun Was High (So Was I) - Best Coast

Treat ‘Em Mean!

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I have two ways to describe my morning so far. One is to say I am just, just over an hour early for the train to Dublin. The other route would be to say I literally missed the original train I planned to get by 5 seconds. Not even, really, I managed to get through the gate but couldn’t stop the automatic doors from closing on me. I could have made it if I dumped by bags while I ran, but that would just have been dumb. Almost, as dumb, as someone missing their train. Especially when that someone was up 2 & 1/2 hours before the train was due to leave.

After barely making my last four trains to and from Dublin by the skin of my teeth, it was inevitable that I would miss one soon. No one to blame, except myself really. Although, I could push the boat out and say that if my friend, who I had to call to, en route to the station, was able to throw keys like a normal person, it might have been a different story. Instead, the keys did not make it over a waist-high gate. This led to me jumping over the gate, having to pick them out of a bush, hop back over the gate and then whiz off in my car. A highly valuable 30 seconds, at least, was wasted there.

I also managed to neatly place my hand in the same place twice while jumping over the gate and back. At the time I thought the stuff was moss. Squishy, white moss. Now though, I see that it is something else entirely. Whereas I was picking something up from my friend’s house, it seems the birds were dropping stuff off. Omens of good luck never hurt anyone I suppose. Anyways, I wont blame him. Or the birds. My fault all the way.

The wise old saying “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” is familiar to most. I am beginning to realize that it should be used in a lot of different walks of life. Not just one. For example, nobody is really a fan of over the top, full-on, bombardment when they first meet a girl. Well, maybe you are, but I wouldn’t be a fan myself. However, now and again I forget this, and end up doing the same myself. Well, maybe not so much in that area, but definitely others.

About a week or so ago, lets just say I met a girl in Dublin. We’ll call her Rita. First meeting we clicked big time, started brightly. We got on well, all the right boxes were ticked, the timing was right, could this be fate?! After the initial date, a few phone calls and emails were sent, bit of texting went on. Forward and back, Roddick to Federer, this was looking good. Then, I heard nothing from Rita for a few days. So I sent another text. Still nothing. This led to my imagination running off a tad. I started to think how could Rita just cut me loose like that. What did I do to ruin the groundwork that had gone before? I thought we would fly through the initial phase of our blossoming relationship, and plough on from there. Why won’t Rita ring and confirm that we are an item! At least let me get to 2nd base!!!!

Yesterday, Rita did call me. All was fine, things were still normal, regular conversation. She likes to take things slowly it seems. Things take time and all that. Oh right, my bad, I was getting ahead of myself a bit. Clingy, Id say Rita was probably thinking. We had just met. I wanted to jump straight into a relationship. Should’ve held back, played hard to get. Instead, I did the worst thing possible, and ended up just sitting around over thinking things. Ape.

Not to worry, I have my wits back with me again. Now, I am off to do what I should’ve done earlier… hook up with Rita’s friend. Tina, we’ll call her, was onto me recently. Being honest, I wasn’t sure if I’d do it to Rita and all that, me being a gentleman and all. However, Tina just wants to meet up for a coffee or something. Just a friendly meeting, nothing too serious or anything. See how it goes. I have a plan. Might see if Tina is up for doing something with Rita. More the merrier. 3-some on! Speaking of which, I forgot they’ve a 3rd friend.

First song of the day…

Brendan Benson

Poised and Ready - Brendan Benson

And one final song for yesterday…

Will You Be There - Michael Jackson

My Left Hand

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I don’t know if you even have one, but my to-do list – or two duu as I like to cleverly call it – is fairly chunky. Which, can be looked at in two ways. One way, would be to say I am fairly busy, lots of things to do. The other, more in touch with reality way, might be to say, I am a busy fool. I’ll go with option A. This morning, however, I noticed that out of last week’s two duu list, I got about 20 of the 25 things on the list, out of the way. Magnificent.

And, the other 5? Probably the most important things on it. But, you know, I got 20 of them done, I was keeping busy. I do really need to sort out number 2 on the list – Buy a small pen. The blogaruus are suffering due to my lack of notes! Last week ended with me feeling pretty weary, from knocking on so many doors. Thankfully, today I remembered I have two hands. My left hand has started promisingly, so far at least.

Well, besides this morning. First port of call was a place where, lets just say, one might try to be innocuous. I shall say no more of where it was. Instead I shall tell you of what happened when I sat down at the reception and fielded a few questions… I happened to notice a copy of the Corkonian magazine on the table behind the guy. The edition that I recently so gracefully graced. Graceful in a camel kind of way. Odds are the guy I was talking to probably never read the magazine, or even looked through it. At the time though, I was convinced that he just closed together the pages that I was on, and looked up to see me. Threw me off on my quest for Bob. A heavily coded paragraph, but if you can get it, it was funny enough. Not this paragraph. Obviously. The incident and my dumbness for connecting the two.

Now that I think of it, my next port of call doesn’t really prove my point either. Have you ever went food shopping, and made the mistake of taking a basket, instead of a trolley? Then, within an isle or two, you’ve well and truly filled up the basket? It is too late now to go all the way back outside and get a trolley. So, you have to dumbly soldier on. It’ll be easy to carry the big things on top of each other with one hand, while maneuvering the packed basket with the other hand. And using your foot to take stuff off the shelves. Almost too easy. Crushing sliced pans, squashing boxes of Cornflakes, and smashing my own eggs. Some laugh. All jokes aside, I would not recommend holding individual eggs in your hands, and allowing yourself to be annoyed at the same time. There is only one loser. The egg. Oh Jesus.

All that was before lunch though. After the hour of one, my left hand kicked in. Tap here, rat a tat there, and I was back on the road. All of those things I mentioned over the weekend might still be in limbo, or the give it time stage. However, if they tip in my favour, then at least I will have things good to go. Slowly but surely crews are being formulated, and arcs are being developed. C’mon the left hand! Instead of letting the chance that I might lose out, like I did on Saturday, due to an error in my DJ gig being double booked, I now have double booked myself, provisionally at least, for this Saturday night. Dumb, yet in a clever kind of way. C’mon the left hand!

One last thing, which I also found a bit odd today. Until today, I never encountered a guy using the term “Hee hee” to another guy. Followed by the term “Lol”. Followed by me enquiring were the messages meant for a girl? Or had he stepped out of a closet? They weren’t, he hadn’t, he saw nothing wrong with them. Maybe I am out of West Hollywood too long, but I laughed. In a ha, kind of way. He said good one, put that in your blog. I said, due to the lack of a small pen for notes, I would if I was stuck. Which, I just did. Hee hee. 

Free song as well, by the by, if anyone is interested. Stumbled on it today, if you like Sigur Ros you’ll probably like this too. Seeing as it is the main dude from Sugar Rose. All they want in return is your a-mail. Just click here

And my song of the day, belongs to a rake…

The Decemberists

The Rake's Song - The Decemberists

Wrecking My Head, Lad!

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Who is it that wrecks your head the most? The most annoying person you know? Someone who can drive you mental, without even doing much? For a few readers, it just might be the exact same person that wrecks mine the most. I figured it out today… me, myself and I. Very few people can close to the amount of inner turmoil I bestow onto myself. It is a tremendous hoot! 

For the past couple of days, my head has been wrecked for some reason. Today, I spent the first half of the day, trying to figure out exactly what it was, that was wrecking my head so much. Try as I might, I could not remember why. When I tried to think hard and just figure out what it might be, again, a blank was drawn. It started to freak me out that neither remembering why, or being able to work out why, brought me the answer. Why did I have the feeling of doom? Freaked. Freaked even more about the fact I couldn’t figure out why I was so freaked. Freak.

Was it the fact, that over the past few days, a good few people back in L-Hey were telling me to get back for the 4th of July festivities that would be going on? Roof-top pool party here, beach party there, after party somewhere. Nay, wasn’t their fault. Or what I might be missing out on. Plenty of the time for all that. Or the fact that I am back in Ireland. The whole “freaked to be back, I’d say” having been dealt with and all that. That wasn’t the issue.

Was it the fact, that I take the route of “no news is bad news”? I decided a while back, that if good news of some sort was to show up, and look promising, I would not jump the gun and get ahead of myself. Seemingly, this results in me getting more freaked, the more good news I might get. This week, progress has been made on a few different fronts. On paper, its been a good week. (Although, maybe the fact it is not on paper is the problem, ha).

However, patience and things take time, are still two troublesome areas I am dealing with. Never mind the simple fact that it is the weekend. The time when people usually chill out. Leave the emails off. Stay away from getting back to an annoying idiot knocking on their door. That can wait until after the weekend. Unfortunately, I like to blatantly ignore this logic. Illogical, irrational thinking all the way! Was this a reason for my head being wrecked? Emm…

Was it a hangover wrecking my head? Tried to blame that, along with drink, but actually blaming those two things was just passing the buck. Only one person to blame for that… myself. Getting double booked for a DJ gig, cut loose, then not using that freed up time to re-write a script I have to do? Again, my fault for doing nothing. A pattern was developing. I slowly saw the light. The reason my head was being wrecked? Not really a what, but a who. My own fault.

Most head wrecking part of all, was the simple ease of how I sorted myself out. Went to the gym. Came home. Had a shave. And I was fine again. Ha, some ape. That was it. My head was (and is) no longer wrecked. I could’ve done that yesterday. Head wrecking enough. 

Some songs, to fix your head, after bearing with all that venting…

MSTRKRFT

Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend) - MSTRKRFT

http://tinyurl.com/qb6lyt

Warm Heart Of Africa

Warm Heart Of Africa (ft. Ezra Koenig) - The Very Best