Reality Cheque


Over the weekend, I realized it was time to take stock. Regather, regroup and all that. For some reason I left myself take a battering mentally last week. I am still not entirely sure why I let myself run around my own head so much. Perhaps it is to do with the fact that I am back in a culture, where what I am trying to do, feels fairly alien. Not saying it is a bad thing. Just that it is far different trying to “live the dream” in Cork, as it is over in L.A. In L.A, every second person I met was in the same boat as myself, trying to climb the ladder in that world and get ahead. Or, they were already successful people in a boat way ahead of mine. Highly competitive and all that, but still good to be around, drives you on more kind of thing.

Back in Ireland, I do feel like I have even less of a clue as to what is going on. Perhaps, this is down to knowing far less people here, who are in a similar line of work, that I am trying to do. Bar speaking to a friend who works for a newspaper, I don’t think I have spoken to one writer, be it for film or t.v. My fault, obviously, I could go hunt them down. However, whereas in L.A, you just meet this people on a daily/weekly basis, and it doesn’t feel forced, in Ireland, for me so far, it does. I am coming at these people with queries and questions, and offering little in return. Which leads to the same type of answer “Shur what do I know really, I’m not much help to you”. Cheers.

Therefore, I have little to no insight as to how I am progressing in my meetings, etc, back here in Ireland. For example, I recently had a meeting with RTE, about the possibility of doing a blog-like segment, for a new show which they are producing. Went well, good feedback, asked for a proposal and so forth (if you clicked, that was who Rita was in previous posts, great disguising by me, ha). Since then though, it has been the waiting game, which is part of the process and all that. I presume. Who knows? At least in L.A, I can bounce these sort of situations off people, and gauge their reaction as to how much progress that actually is, or how good the situation does, or does not, look.

Another door of interest has been shown by a second t.v station, Gina G we’ll just say. The door has been opened at least. So, again, I must put together a proposal, DVD, outline etc, and see how that goes. All taking a chance really and seeing what may come from it. The key for me is realizing that it is a lengthy process. And I am just at the start of it, by getting an initial meeting with these people. However, this is something, which, no matter how many times I try to tell myself, I have still not fully come to terms with. Maybe this is what was giving my head such a frying last week. The not knowing where I really stood, on a number of different fronts, was driving me mental. 

I’ve also been working on sorting out a longer visa for myself. Which is moving in the right direction. There are 2 options, for me at least. One is a D.J sponsorship option, which is a bit expensive, and not sure if my cheque book can afford it at the moment (worked the title in seamlessly, isn’t that lovely). If needs be, it is do-able though. The other option is a writer’s visa. A few things are needed for this one, but costs far less. Far, far, far less. After much (little) deliberation, I am now trying this route first. Which looks hopefull, but, again, I have to play the patience game, and wait for people to get back to me with further info. I have the limbo dance down to a tee at this stage.

In other areas, too, it is kind of the exact same. First one group show interest, then another, meetings go well, then the patience and time factors kick in. Having all of these circumstances, at the exact same time, is tough enough. Having no clue where you really stand, is not as much fun as you might think. I’ve used the metaphor before of it being like when you are trying to hook up with someone you like. Texting, flirting, back and forth, is it going to happen, is it not, who knows, who cares? Imagine that, but way, way, waaaay more. As in way more. As in almost every major aspect of your life is currently in that limbo state. And you do care. Plenty more fish in the sea, but it would be good if one of these gave the green light. Just have to wait and find out. Some funking hoot.

Now, it is time to get proactive. I’ve had the reactive buzz going on all week. And, worst part was, I didn’t get much news to react to. So, just traveled around Ireland, frying my brain. Thankfully I realized it was time to move on from that frame of mind. I shall now be making more use of the time I have in limbo. More on that in the coming week, as this blogaruu has been long enough. 

Mucho gracias to @fiscalstudent by the way, for giving me some good feedback over the weekend, blog related. Highly appreciated it. And also, mucho gracias to the show I just watched on t.v about Graham Linehan, writer/creator of Father Ted, amongst other shows. That hour alone has given me more insight than anything else I’ve managed to get since being back in Ireland. Such as, he does some of the weird things I do as well, while writing. Maybe I’m not losing my mind after seeing his processes and peculiarities. We’re almost alike. Except of course, as I presume you are just saying to yourself, he is married. I am not. Oh, and, perhaps, that he has a few successful shows under his belt. I do not. Yet. Duu.

Song of this long blogaruu day, is also long, but worth listening to all the way through. It is pretty savage.


Love Like A Sunset - Phoenix

I’d Shake Your Hand, But…

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Today has been ridiculously long. Especially seeing as I had no alarm this morning to wake me up. Instead, and a smarter option looking back, I just kept waking up every two minutes throughout the night, in fear I had slept in. A magnificent sleep. Thankfully, I managed to make it on time to the shindig on in RTE today, so well done to me. On achieving something so basic as waking up early and getting somewhere before 10.

Being honest, I can’t fully figure out if today was actually good, could’ve been better, or just normal. Maybe I am too tired. Or maybe the fact I have absolutely nothing to judge most things off these days, might be the main factor. I have bob all yardsticks lying around. Plough on. It was an open day for producers to meet and greet the commissioning editors in RTE. Good opportunity to go along and network. Cool enough, on in a studio, lights, cameras, all that. (It shows how much I need a yardstick, seeing as that was cool to me). Pretty good to hear what they had to say, what they were looking for, what they were not looking for etc.

I also managed to have my meeting, meant for Thursday, with a commissioning editor who was interested in hearing more about my project. Although, when he told me that he focused on ‘Observational Documentaries”,  “Wildlife” and “Regional” programs, it was clear that I was approaching the wrong department (which I had figured out from checking up before I went, but any foot in the door was my line of thinking). However, he did tell me who to go to and talk to the commissioning editor suitable for my show. Plus he said he would email them first with his thoughts. Finally, he told me he was a fan of the working title for the project. Then he got called up to address the audience, and that was it. Unfortunately, this got me thinking. Was he a fan of just the title? Or did like the rest too, but really liked the title? Or which? The lack of sleep had (has) me paranoid, ha.

Off I went, to hunt down the appropriate commissioning editor, who I knew to see from his presentation earlier. The mingling with the editors was scheduled for in the afternoon, so a few more presentations were made, then first break for coffee. I must say, it is tough enough, initially at least, knowing who to go mingle with, in such a limited time frame. Seeing as I have no clue who anyone actually is, so completely clueless as to which person works for which production company. Again, I could be speaking to a guy or girl looking to produce a wildlife show, and it wouldn’t really be beneficial to me. However, at the main lunch, I made a few contacts, and it was looking to be a useful trip. If only I could catch the editor I wanted, one on one.

Did so much networking and talking during the main lunch, that I only managed to eat an apple. Gutted. All that free food too. Headed back for one more presentation before the different editors did a Q&A, must just pop into the bathroom first. So, usual malarky, standing there, doing my thing, staring at the wall, only person in there. Half a minute later, somebody else comes in and does his thing next to me. I look to my left, and, yes you have guessed correctly… the Nazi dude I sold the Shamwows to! Ha, nay, however, it was the commissioning editor I had been looking to speak with, one on one.

While finishing up, I was trying not to stare as I doubled check to make sure it was the right guy. At this stage, I am now to his left, using the hand dryer, subtly looking to my right (as subtle as one can be in a small enough bathroom). He probably thought I was checking him out. When I saw it was definitely the person I was looking for, I actually started laughing. Which I stopped quickly. In case he thought I was laughing at him in some way. So it’s just a blurt out laugh. Very normal, if you were an outsider looking in. Should I introduce myself to him now, while I have the chance, and have it as a highly awkward moment. Or wait until he at least finishes up? Or just wait until later for the allocated time slot, like everyone else?

Obviously, I did what any sane person would do. I waited for him in the hallway outside the bathroom. Like a weirdo, with a big smile. My charming, mingling smile. Worked well. I think. Maybe. No clue. Managed to say my piece, and he said he’d be interested to hear more, always looking for new ideas etc. sounded like it would suit his department. The way it worked was that it goes through his development editor first, so he gave me her email, set up a meeting, and we’ll take it from there. See, not sure if this was me being passed on again and again. Or if that is just the way it works. We shall see.

Found out that the first meet and greet was with the children’s section editor, so I decided to head to the canteen to get food. The canteen reminded me of being back in L.A actually. Kind of. In the sense that I recognized the person sitting next to me from being on t.v. I also recognized the quite good looking girl to my left, from earlier on at the first coffee break. Time for more networking… Hi (dopey mingling smile) I saw you earlier, by the coffee stuff, in Studio one? “Yeah, just taking a break now, long day” Yeah, very long, I’m wrecked, way too long… all that small talk. Seeing as the buzz at the main lunch was “Are you busy, working away?” I also enquired, which she said she was, very. How about me, what was I up to?

She had given me the green light, so I launched into a spiel about what I am doing, trying this, that and the other. Which she seemed to think was interesting, was I working on anything? This could be handy, maybe team up with a production company. Again, as she gave me the green light, told her about the sitcom I am working on, looking to get feedback while I am back in Ireland etc. And then, seeing as I had blown on about myself for long enough, I asked what she was working on, did she have many shows in production? Which, was met by a puzzled expression… “I work as part of the catering. I’m on my break.” No funking way. Seriously? Again, had to laugh.

The tiredness levels are high, so time to wrap up. If anyone is looking for a professional looking caterer, I now have the number for a good one. And, yes, he did wash his hands. I think. Not sure. Maybe. Did I?

Cool new song…


I'm A Pilot - Fanfarlo