Reality Cheque


Over the weekend, I realized it was time to take stock. Regather, regroup and all that. For some reason I left myself take a battering mentally last week. I am still not entirely sure why I let myself run around my own head so much. Perhaps it is to do with the fact that I am back in a culture, where what I am trying to do, feels fairly alien. Not saying it is a bad thing. Just that it is far different trying to “live the dream” in Cork, as it is over in L.A. In L.A, every second person I met was in the same boat as myself, trying to climb the ladder in that world and get ahead. Or, they were already successful people in a boat way ahead of mine. Highly competitive and all that, but still good to be around, drives you on more kind of thing.

Back in Ireland, I do feel like I have even less of a clue as to what is going on. Perhaps, this is down to knowing far less people here, who are in a similar line of work, that I am trying to do. Bar speaking to a friend who works for a newspaper, I don’t think I have spoken to one writer, be it for film or t.v. My fault, obviously, I could go hunt them down. However, whereas in L.A, you just meet this people on a daily/weekly basis, and it doesn’t feel forced, in Ireland, for me so far, it does. I am coming at these people with queries and questions, and offering little in return. Which leads to the same type of answer “Shur what do I know really, I’m not much help to you”. Cheers.

Therefore, I have little to no insight as to how I am progressing in my meetings, etc, back here in Ireland. For example, I recently had a meeting with RTE, about the possibility of doing a blog-like segment, for a new show which they are producing. Went well, good feedback, asked for a proposal and so forth (if you clicked, that was who Rita was in previous posts, great disguising by me, ha). Since then though, it has been the waiting game, which is part of the process and all that. I presume. Who knows? At least in L.A, I can bounce these sort of situations off people, and gauge their reaction as to how much progress that actually is, or how good the situation does, or does not, look.

Another door of interest has been shown by a second t.v station, Gina G we’ll just say. The door has been opened at least. So, again, I must put together a proposal, DVD, outline etc, and see how that goes. All taking a chance really and seeing what may come from it. The key for me is realizing that it is a lengthy process. And I am just at the start of it, by getting an initial meeting with these people. However, this is something, which, no matter how many times I try to tell myself, I have still not fully come to terms with. Maybe this is what was giving my head such a frying last week. The not knowing where I really stood, on a number of different fronts, was driving me mental. 

I’ve also been working on sorting out a longer visa for myself. Which is moving in the right direction. There are 2 options, for me at least. One is a D.J sponsorship option, which is a bit expensive, and not sure if my cheque book can afford it at the moment (worked the title in seamlessly, isn’t that lovely). If needs be, it is do-able though. The other option is a writer’s visa. A few things are needed for this one, but costs far less. Far, far, far less. After much (little) deliberation, I am now trying this route first. Which looks hopefull, but, again, I have to play the patience game, and wait for people to get back to me with further info. I have the limbo dance down to a tee at this stage.

In other areas, too, it is kind of the exact same. First one group show interest, then another, meetings go well, then the patience and time factors kick in. Having all of these circumstances, at the exact same time, is tough enough. Having no clue where you really stand, is not as much fun as you might think. I’ve used the metaphor before of it being like when you are trying to hook up with someone you like. Texting, flirting, back and forth, is it going to happen, is it not, who knows, who cares? Imagine that, but way, way, waaaay more. As in way more. As in almost every major aspect of your life is currently in that limbo state. And you do care. Plenty more fish in the sea, but it would be good if one of these gave the green light. Just have to wait and find out. Some funking hoot.

Now, it is time to get proactive. I’ve had the reactive buzz going on all week. And, worst part was, I didn’t get much news to react to. So, just traveled around Ireland, frying my brain. Thankfully I realized it was time to move on from that frame of mind. I shall now be making more use of the time I have in limbo. More on that in the coming week, as this blogaruu has been long enough. 

Mucho gracias to @fiscalstudent by the way, for giving me some good feedback over the weekend, blog related. Highly appreciated it. And also, mucho gracias to the show I just watched on t.v about Graham Linehan, writer/creator of Father Ted, amongst other shows. That hour alone has given me more insight than anything else I’ve managed to get since being back in Ireland. Such as, he does some of the weird things I do as well, while writing. Maybe I’m not losing my mind after seeing his processes and peculiarities. We’re almost alike. Except of course, as I presume you are just saying to yourself, he is married. I am not. Oh, and, perhaps, that he has a few successful shows under his belt. I do not. Yet. Duu.

Song of this long blogaruu day, is also long, but worth listening to all the way through. It is pretty savage.


Love Like A Sunset - Phoenix