Who is it that wrecks your head the most? The most annoying person you know? Someone who can drive you mental, without even doing much? For a few readers, it just might be the exact same person that wrecks mine the most. I figured it out today… me, myself and I. Very few people can close to the amount of inner turmoil I bestow onto myself. It is a tremendous hoot!
For the past couple of days, my head has been wrecked for some reason. Today, I spent the first half of the day, trying to figure out exactly what it was, that was wrecking my head so much. Try as I might, I could not remember why. When I tried to think hard and just figure out what it might be, again, a blank was drawn. It started to freak me out that neither remembering why, or being able to work out why, brought me the answer. Why did I have the feeling of doom? Freaked. Freaked even more about the fact I couldn’t figure out why I was so freaked. Freak.
Was it the fact, that over the past few days, a good few people back in L-Hey were telling me to get back for the 4th of July festivities that would be going on? Roof-top pool party here, beach party there, after party somewhere. Nay, wasn’t their fault. Or what I might be missing out on. Plenty of the time for all that. Or the fact that I am back in Ireland. The whole “freaked to be back, I’d say” having been dealt with and all that. That wasn’t the issue.
Was it the fact, that I take the route of “no news is bad news”? I decided a while back, that if good news of some sort was to show up, and look promising, I would not jump the gun and get ahead of myself. Seemingly, this results in me getting more freaked, the more good news I might get. This week, progress has been made on a few different fronts. On paper, its been a good week. (Although, maybe the fact it is not on paper is the problem, ha).
However, patience and things take time, are still two troublesome areas I am dealing with. Never mind the simple fact that it is the weekend. The time when people usually chill out. Leave the emails off. Stay away from getting back to an annoying idiot knocking on their door. That can wait until after the weekend. Unfortunately, I like to blatantly ignore this logic. Illogical, irrational thinking all the way! Was this a reason for my head being wrecked? Emm…
Was it a hangover wrecking my head? Tried to blame that, along with drink, but actually blaming those two things was just passing the buck. Only one person to blame for that… myself. Getting double booked for a DJ gig, cut loose, then not using that freed up time to re-write a script I have to do? Again, my fault for doing nothing. A pattern was developing. I slowly saw the light. The reason my head was being wrecked? Not really a what, but a who. My own fault.
Most head wrecking part of all, was the simple ease of how I sorted myself out. Went to the gym. Came home. Had a shave. And I was fine again. Ha, some ape. That was it. My head was (and is) no longer wrecked. I could’ve done that yesterday. Head wrecking enough.
Some songs, to fix your head, after bearing with all that venting…
Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend) - MSTRKRFT