BAAAaack In The US-Wahey, I Am…

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Born In The USA – Bruce Springsteen

Back in LA-wahey wuu huu! Mighty quick trip back to Ireland. Nice if it was longer but what can you duu? I came. I kissed. I conquered. Castles. Stones. Mead. The whole shebang. Weddings. Whistles. Wallops. Some hoot. Even had the odd owl. Speeches. Stand-up. Sheep. Good bit to catch up on in the old blogaruu. Need a day or two to let it percolate in my brain. Until then, how about an article I wrote for a Sunday newspaper this week. Life of a Chancer. Read. On. Continue Reading »

Come On You Boys & Girls In Green…

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Everybody’s Gotta Live – Love

Ever look out the window and wonder who was the handsome feck staring back at you and then you realise that the window is actually a mirror??! That happened.

Ever been DJigging and a randumb Irish guy comes up to you to say “Are you the guy from Cork? Your GAA team is Continue Reading »

This Is What Mass In WeHo Is Like…

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Chapter 15

 Wigs, Wine & Weirdos

“Oh God. Why am I holding this man’s hand?” ’Twas the night before Christmas Eve and all was… Dead. First Christmas away from home. Away from the family. Away from my Mum’s mighty Christmas dinner. Aww. Poor little Merrick. Woe is me. All week I’ve been constantly asked, “Will you not miss going home to Ireland for it?” “Well, it would be preferred, but I’ll just have to make do.” Making sure to add, “And besides… In this economy? Hm.” That part usually confuses them enough to ask no more. Besides, I’m sure Cork will miss me just as much. Only the other day did a buddy Diane tell me, “Oh, eh, yeah. Christmas just won’t be the same if you’re not here. Like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse, so it will.”

So that was nice. Being compared to a mouse. Mighty. Anyway, last night I did the 12 Pubs of Christmas. Woke up this morning. Still full to the brim with Christmas cheer. Plan was to go to Charlotte’s for Christmas dinner. First, mass. Must go to Catholic Mass on Christmas Day, my Mum would kill me if she found out I didn’t! As it happens, two churches right around the corner from me. Go on the Google Maps. Hop out of bed. Bounce off a wall. Christmas clothes on. Scuttle around the corner. Blessed myself going into church. Found a seat. Sat down. Kneeled down. Stood up. Realised everyone else was still kneeling. Back down. Spaced out. Joined in. Humming prayers. Head spinning slightly. Saw a sign on the wall: Continue Reading »

My Piece of Crap Joke #19 (Also: Edit)

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Float – KO KO

Ever get into a machine mode? As in you are Charlie Sheen’s Mum? (Ma Sheen. Get it? Hilarious.) Today was one of those days. Mighty. Dawn to dawn. (Nice girl.) Got some amount of buckets of work done. As in… Well, nothing concrete that I will bore you with now. But, let’s just say, it’s at least like wet cement at the moment. Let it sit. Let it settle. Let it go. Even now the gibber is still flowing. So. I made a video. Because I am an enigmanure. Obviously. Joke of the Day – Wahey!

Oh. And there was also this fine spread in an Irish paper today. Me naked legs spread wide over two pages. Mighty mighty. Although I was promised a seven page spread. But I’ll get over that. One thing that is odd to see is when your stuff is edited or quotes are just made up. Never really a fan of that. In case you ever wondered what goes on in the editing world, here’s an example of a slight edit… Continue Reading »

RanDumber. Out Now. Free Book! Happy St. Pa’Tricks Day!

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Come On Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runners

I am quite giddy and also quite tired but both and neither matter. What matters is that RanDumber being available to buy online on Paddy’s Day is now a reality. Oh. Betsy. Dancing! Some day! HAPPY ST. PA’TRICKS HAYES ALL THE WAY!!!

As it stands, it’s available to buy on Amazon.com so far. You. Fecking. Beauty.

If you would like to get the ball rolling and snap a mighty copy up -> GO HERE!

For all the mighty Kindle readers out there -> GO HERE NOW!

Kindle folk in the UK -> YEE HUU!

In celebration of such a mighty occasion, RanDumb (rated #1 on Amazon Humor) shall be free for three days! If you would like that for  free-> GO HERE!

In case you were wondering, a mighty introduction was written by… Well just have a look and see. Duu. For now, I must sleep a bit. Did I tell you I saw Jerry Seinfeld in stand-up a few hours ago. What a show. What a man! Genius. Mighty to see. That is the bar. Could this day be any better?!! I’ll shall be back later with more gibber and a video to boot too. Wuu. Huu. Now go: Pants. Off. Read. On!!!!

Celebration – Kool & The Gang

My One Night Stand…

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Miss You – The Rolling Stones

Very sad day. Just took down my Christmas tree. Meant to do it last weekend but I couldn’t bear the thought/too lazy. Now it’s down. Meaning Christmas is over. Done. Dusted. Out. Buried. No more. Hard to take. Although the thing is:

Does Christmas ever even start in LA?

Ehh…

No.

Not at all.

Week leading up to Christmas: No buzz. At all. Few places had decorations up, of course. Shops were plumping and pimping out Christmas deals. But all felt fake. Selling. As opposed to cheerful. Plus, I too was working a good bit – Book on – so it kept my mind off the cold, hardened, heathen, non-Christmas buzz in the air. People don’t even say ‘Happy Christmas’ here. It’s all ‘Happy Holidays!’ Just in case you somehow offend someone? Funk. That. Christmas. On! Ye whures.

Pint Per Pub. Shots Encouraged, But Purely Optional...

As always, 12 Pubs of Christmas held high hopes for kicking the Christmas buzz into gear. As always, initial responses to the mighty pub crawl were lukewarm/confused/uninterested/horrendous. Mighty. Thankfully, closer to the day, a group formed, Christmas jumpers were purchased, and the crawl was on. (Either way I was going on it but always nicer to have others in dodgy Christmas jumpers join you on your way.)

That was a good hoot at least. Quite and polite at first. Chug and chug at second. Warming up at third. Banter at fourth. And people out of their shells at five. As always, one quiet guy in the group burst out of his shell with a demonic smile. Hilarious guy who I know only as Dave. Don’t remember much about him. Just that Continue Reading »