Roxanne – Strange Talk
Birthday. Birthmonth. Bert on! Beach. Party. Celebration. Malibu. Malibooze. Maliboobs! Paradise. Cove. Kaw. Bird. Shrimp. Wine. Cocktails. Lounge chairs. Hi life. Hello living. Drink. Glass. My. Hand. Gulp. Pause. Laugh. Another drin- Plop. Huh? Seagull. Kaw. Kaw. KAAWW! Flying. Attacking. Dropping. Dumping. Plopping. Into. Glass. Hand. Mine. Dunk. Lucky? Me!
So that was a fun birthday. Speaking of… Continue Reading »
What’s Going On? – Marvin Gaye
So the other day I got this wonderful letter in the post from a blogaruu reader which I thought I would reply to…
‘Howdy,
Just wanted to say great hair! Also. What have you been up to lately?
Goodbye for now,
Murk Waters.’
Howdy yourself, Murk Waters, great to hear from you. Thanks for the hair compliment too, very kind. I’m sure you’ve a fine flowing fro yourself as well. Actually, did I tell you I recently got a haircut? Here’s a photo some clown took of it… Continue Reading »
Down Under – Men At Work
Mighty weekend. Sold a pair of signed Pants Off… RanDumber On! underwear Merkandise for $70. (The standard has been set!. Shop on!) And some fine folk sent me a scan of this RanDumber review. First one in an Australian newspaper that I know of. Going down under! All the way down under town. Where women glow and men plunder. Plus. Always good to dominate the Kerry. Duu! (Ozzy. Oz. Get it? Ahh hush! Review ends at old. OK. Good duck!) Continue Reading »
Man On Fire – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
Not sure where my dose of self-diagnosed claustrophobia came from exactly. Maybe from when I was in fifth class in primary school. And for some reason a group of us were put in class with people in sixth class. The Special Ones, as we called ourselves. Too smart for fifth class! As a result, we were let run free on Continue Reading »
Because The Night – Patti Smith
Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of the crust? The heel. You know, the start and end parts of a loaf of bread. Whichever name you want to call that rose. Lot of folk don’t like it at all. But I’m a fan. Particularly when it’s toasted. Tasty. As. Funk!
So when I went to prepare a celebratory meal for myself last night, I did not mind that all I had left was one slice of bread crust. Horsed it into the toaster. Checked the fridge. What else do I have for this fine meal? Hmm. Fridge. Bare. Naked. Tut. Although, I do have two baby tomatoes left. Wonderful. Anything else? Sniff. Balls. Toast. Burning. Burnt. Ah Jiminy. Not to worry, I shall make do. Nothing can sour this mighty celebration!
In the end, I had: One burnt slice of toast. Two sliced tomatoes. And. A glass of gin, to wash it all down. Mmhmmm. Tasty. Horsed it into me. Two bites. Two chugs. Gone. Quite the feast. Quite the celebrations. Standing in my kitchen. Alone. In my underwear. Betsy. Momentous occasion! Rejoice! Could’ve been a burnt sock for all I care. Especially as moments earlier I had finally finished a full draft of my first ever book. Wuu huu!
Rambling. Boney. Skeleton. The first draft.
According to Hemingway: The shit one.
Or as a clown might say: Continue Reading »
Chigadaging – Ukulélé Club de Paris
“It’s just great that you’re back!”
Yeah, mighty!
“How was the flight? What did you eat? Have you eaten? What would you like to eat? I have chicken, turkey, ham, steak-”
Mum…
“Oh right, something healthier? I have salad, salmon, sea bass-”
No, Mum… Mum.
“We could get something else if you lik-”
MUUUUUMMMMAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!
And with that my Mum drove straight through the barrier in the airport car park. Continue Reading »
Enough Talk, More Writing! 