Oh Betsy…

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Everything Is Everything – Lauryn Hill

Rattled, to say the least. New Year’s. Cat allergies. Ape man flu type thing which keeps rearing it’s horrendous head. Not feeling the May West. Betsy. Brain is working at 10%, at most. Now would be a great time to mock me. Probably have a comeback thought of by Wednesday. Quip me with your mocking stick. Quip me. First blogaruu of 2011. Amazing, I know. 2010 has been a mighty year. It is what you make of it, if you ask me. People seem to enjoy complaining at this time of year. Actually blame the year for all their bad luck, woes, misfortunes, etc. Perhaps the year was not at fault. Perhaps. Think aboot that, Moaning Marys. Not a big fan of looking back, as when I did it for the book, it involved a lot of dredging. Ending up waist high in my mind’s swamp. However, I will go back to the blogaruu I wrote exactly this day one year ago. A mighty blog where I decided it was “Time to horse a few targets out there. Not really going to be ‘resolutions’ though. The word doesn’t hold much weight to me. Resolves nothing.” I knew writing the targets down would eventually have a use! Everyman needs a plan. So. How did I get on… Continue Reading »

Red Raw Eggs…

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Pod On. Pod On. Pod-On Pod-On Pod-On…

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Having slight technical difficulties with le podcasts. As in they keep deleting themselves for some fun, computer freezing reason. Huge numbers have being tuning in  too! I think. Go on the pod. Peas in a panther. Ehh… Yeah. Part 2 on… Continue Reading »

Hearing Haze!

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Like all good teachers, Sex Boy Dave reminded me of a valuable lesson on Wednesday… People love free stuff! Sexy Boy Dave being a comedian at stand-up the other night. Obviously. Self-claimed self-made millionaire. Selling sex toys online. Unfortunately for Sex Boy Dave, everything I have wrote so far is at least thrice as funny as his brutally cocky act. Brutal. Still though, in fairness to him, he did remind me that people are big fans of free. But while Sex Boy Dave finally managed to get himself a few cheers by handing out various sex toys from his website at the end of his act, my free gift is more aural pleasure for your ears. Tut. My bad. New member to the online media familia… Blogaruu… Vlogaruu… And now… Podaruu! Free chapters from my book. In the shape of podcasts! Aural on! Name of the podcast shall be ‘Hearing Haze… Not just a phase!’ Now you can download and listen to my gibber on the go. iPods on. Mighty. Wuu huu! Sex Boy Dave… Nada on my gift!  So without any further a duu, my first attempt. Tad rough. Rambling. But a mighty little beast!!! Perk up an ear. Listen on… Continue Reading »

Gimperfection

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Rock And Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution – AC/DC

Does anyone remember my German teacher’s name in secondary school? Slightly odd German lady? Anyways, back when I can’t fully remember, I had a German exam in school. Questions and essay. Took my time. Didn’t want to rush. Get the essay word for word perfect. Make sure it looked all neat and tidy. Like a plonk. At least a neat plonk. Time ticking. Almost finished. About to hand it up… Oh Jesus… Forgot to add that sentence in the essay part. Added it. Just aboot to hand it back up. Until I remembered another mighty sentence. Oh sweet Lord, I must add that!?! Kept adding. Tweaking. Fixing. Making sure it was spot on perfect. Time starting running out. Didn’t care. Just needed to fix this. And that. Time ticking. Me tocking. Kept going. Teacher waiting. Hand it up. It’s fine. Stop trying to fix it. Time up. Hand it up now or I won’t take it, she said. Two minutes, I aped. She left. I fixed. Ran after her. Declined my late entry. Ah please… Accepted it. After she told me to cop on. Almost failed the exam because I was a perfectionist. Pardon… ? What’s that? You think I’m a perfectionist? Why thank you! So kind… Continue Reading »

Ughatha Christie… Dumble On!

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Kill Everybody – Skrillex

Have you ever been gaily skipping down a street. Skipping high! Wonderful skips! Bouncing along. Picking up momentum. Skip on! Skip high! So young! So free! So… Clip!  Curb. Path. Stone. Your own shoe. Fall. Dumble. Stumble. Down ape goes. Holding your knee on the path. Cursing the skipping. Dumb skips. Making me dumble. Should never have skipped so high, so quick! Perhaps I’ll just chill a while. Stay down on the path. By these gutters. Lost all my momentum. All that curb’s fault. Tut. This week has been kind of like that. Quite the ridiculously annoying successfully-frustrating week. Plus my man period (rent) on top of it all!?! Ugh boots have been on. What goes up… Sometimes keeps going up and up, to be true. Which is mighty and obviously ideal. But then other times… Stagnates and floats in exactly the same spot. Like a dead frog. Floating. Bobbing. Dumbling along. Going nowhere. Wasting time. Wheels turning. Barely churning. Well that’s if you had wheels. And you actually made the effort to churn them. Instead of just waiting. Highly frustrating. Immensely annoying. Kind of like this opening gibber… Continue Reading »