I Can’t Go For That (Member’s Only Remix) – Halls & Oates
Earlier today I saw an offer from an author on Twitter. Buy my book in bulk. Get an experience in return. Buy 75 books: Get a personalised thank you video. Buy 350 books: Have a one hour chat with me on Skype. That kind of thing. Book whuring full on. Honestly I found it pre-tty bizarre. I’m happy when someone buys one copy of Randumb. Who would buy in bulk like that? Was this not just a way to buy your way into the Amazon or New York Times Bestseller charts?! Why did it reek of used car salesman techniques?! Focus. What am I having for lunch!?
Anyways. Apparently. It works. People like to do this kind of thing. Amazing. I know. The author in question (Gary Vaynerchuk) told me he got 100’s of people doing it for his first book. No way… Yes way. Interesting. Got me thinking. Perhaps it’s time for an ultimate Randumb experience. You buy my mighty book. In return. Personally touched. By. Me. Wuu! Duu? So. Here are the mighty experiences I and my team of I have come up with. Please form an orderly queue. Touch on!
BUY 1 BOOK:
Receive a book.
BUY 2 BOOKS:
Receive two books. One for you. One for a friend. Or family member. Your call!
BUY 5 BOOKS:
Receive a photo from me expressing my gratitude.
BUY 10 BOOKS:
2 x 1/2 hour chats on Skype. I struggle with Skype chats longer than half an hour. Hunger kicks in. Chats can be about anything. Clothing optional.
BUY 25 BOOKS:
My Dad will buy you dinner.
BUY 50 BOOKS:
Get a mention in my next book.
BUY 75 BOOKS:
Receive a massage.
BUY 100 BOOKS:
Your name will be used as a character in my next book.
BUY 500 BOOKS:
Relive a night from Randumb. Boozing session in Hollywood! On me!?
BUY 1000 BOOKS:
Your photo will be used as my author photo on the back of my next book!
Terms and conditions apply to all. Still though. Amazing! What touches!!! All you need to do to avail of these astonishing randumb experiences is email me your Amazon receipts. How easy is that!!! Amazing. Now. Let the emails flood in…
(By the by. In case you were wondering here’s the link I saw today -> Cluck?!)