Fine folk of le blogaruu! Have a listen to me being interview gibbered by Robbo Williams about my book RanDumb as part of his new show Rudebox Radio. My drone comes in around the 63 minute mark. Just before Gary Barlow. Listen on! Duu…
Read more from Robbo -> Go down, say some words… Bang!
Take Me Back To Piaui – Juca Chaves
Mercy – Edit Murphy
So yesterday was the West Hollywood Book Fair. And it went mighty! Ish. Slightly mighty. Good hoot. Bar getting the boot. Kicked out a book fair. Harsh.
So I head down to the fair. Told I’m in this area where other writers are also set up. Stage. Mic. Table. Old people. Lots of old people. Big fan of old folk. Just not my main target market.
Also situated just downwind of drainage pipes. Not the glamour one might never associate with a book fair. Pretty soon it’s figured this is not the most happening spot. Scouts are sent out. Seems that up above and around the corner is far more lively. Where all the bookstores are. Where all the people are. Where potential customers are waiting for me!
Mosey on up. See a booth with a spare table. Quick bit of bluffing. Bucket load of charming. Slight dash of chancing. I now have my own full booth courtesy of a Mystery Book publisher. Wuu. Duu! (Had to tell them RanDumb was purely a romance novel – I love myself! – so not their competition. Chance. On.)
Far better location. In the middle of the fair. People all aboot. Various sorts of booths and authors around me. Guy who played Hercules and Steve-O from Jackass directly in the booth across from me. Competition. Time to dominate. Who cares if they have lines queuing up for autographs and photos?! We have Guinness! Continue Reading »
Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen
So my younger sister Sarah has been in L.A for the past week. Finishing off her J1 summer. Final hurrah in L-Hey. Usually I dodge like a duck when people are in town. Tour guide duties are a full-time job. Single parent duties and all that. Plus, sometime people seem to demand to be entertained by LA. Not able to relax until they’ve spotted a celebrity. And then it’s not good enough for their celeb standards… Meh, I’ve seen better. Only Brad Pitt. It’d be different if we bumped into someone like Justin Bieber. Oh yeah, sorry about that. Or else folk go out of their way not to be impressed, no matter how impressive. Until they finally just give in and admit to enjoy it. However, being my wonderful sister and all, I said OK so, you can stay with me. Here’s a tent and a pillow, sleep down by the pool.
All jokes aside, it has been mighty having her here. Splendid breath of fresh air. First of all, she’s chilled. Duck to water. Secondly, she’s not too cool to enjoy things. No Daria complex. Thirdly, she loved every minute of it. Everything was unreal. Everything was eye-openingly amazing. Everything made it the best week of her life, like. All of which reminded me: LA. Is. Savage. Continue Reading »
Big Bad Wolf – Duck Sauce
Carmaggedon: Some spoof. Never seen the roads so quiet. Hollywood hype! Waste of a shotgun. End of the world will have to wait.
Me: Some idiot. Have you ever tried to take shortcuts, even though you’ve never been in the place before? Some clown. Driving back from a gig on Saturday. Never there before. But I know where I’m going. Let’s take this left here. Down this lane. Now if I just swing around on this 270˚ angle. Go up this hill. Along this back road. And I should be home… Why am I on the Pacific Coast Highway?Heading for San Francisco? Some funking idiot. Berating myself in the car: Why are you trying to take shortcuts?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!! Only took me thirty five minutes to get back to the original road I was on. Some. Ape. Dope.
DJigs: Corporate gigs are the way to go. Forget bars or clubs. One night. About two hours of work. Rent. Sorted. Giddy up! No wonder singers and the likes do those weird gigs in Saudia Arabia or on a Russian billionaire’s yacht. Money talks. Let’s not mention how irregular they can be. Shhh. Nice views too. Rooftop on… Continue Reading »
I Want To Break Free – Mariachillout
Seeing as the rest of America is celebrating its birthday and its right to dance, I feel now is the perfect time to do a quick expose. Show the people of Ireland (et al) the truth! What it’s really like to live in LA. Won’t lie, pre-tty gruesome. Remember Schindler’s List? Kind of like that. Exactly. Ish. Maybe. Not at all…
So at times I’m required to work under absolutely dreadful conditions. Outside. Sweltering. Loud. Noisy. Crowded. Eye sores. Everywhere. Just. Tut. Terrible.
Apologies. Should’ve given ye a warning. My bad. As you can see, that was tough. To make matters even worse, some days we’re required to do this after work… Continue Reading »
All Together Now – The Farm
Ménage à trois. Sounds unreal. Holy grail. Conjures up magical imagery. Hot. Toned. Tanned. Women. Feathers. Candles. Wings. Gloriousness. Fireplaces. Rugs. Cherries. Berries. James Bond bedroom scene style lighting. Saxophones, hooting from somewhere. Kenny G next to the roaring fire, no doubt. Tooting out the soundtrack. Seeing as it is the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones comes swooping in with a whip. In case one of the girls is into that. Whips. All that gibber. Funreal! Although. A lot of dudes are in this threesome. Which. Is. Odd. Anyways… Continue Reading »
Enough Talk, More Writing! 