Big Bad Wolf – Duck Sauce

Carmaggedon: Some spoof. Never seen the roads so quiet. Hollywood hype! Waste of a shotgun. End of the world will have to wait.

Me: Some idiot. Have you ever tried to take shortcuts, even though you’ve never been in the place before? Some clown. Driving back from a gig on Saturday. Never there before. But I know where I’m going. Let’s take this left here. Down this lane. Now if I just swing around on this 270˚ angle. Go up this hill. Along this back road. And I should be home… Why am I on the Pacific Coast Highway?Heading for San Francisco? Some funking idiot. Berating myself in the car: Why are you trying to take shortcuts?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!! Only took me thirty five minutes to get back to the original road I was on. Some. Ape. Dope.

DJigs: Corporate gigs are the way to go. Forget bars or clubs. One night. About two hours of work. Rent. Sorted. Giddy up! No wonder singers and the likes do those weird gigs in Saudia Arabia or on a Russian billionaire’s yacht. Money talks. Let’s not mention how irregular they can be. Shhh. Nice views too. Rooftop on…

Book two: Coming along nicely. Aboot 25,000 words written last week. Nay too shabby. Time to plough on. Keep the focus in tact. Not let it run off like a chicken. My discipline is like a little child at times. Turn your back for a second: Gonzo.

Randumb: Currently number 28 on Amazon’s Top Rated Humour list. Oh Betsy!

Finally: Another interview. Wuu. Although, once again, I didn’t really say most of those quotes. Unless I actually do sound like a Mum? And smile like a pedophile.

PDF Version Clickity -> Here

4 thoughts on “Carmafunkingidiot

  1. Hey Merrick, I’m loving catching up on the blog, half of which I didn’t even realise was in here! Many many laughs. And hey, good photos interspersed with the gibber. I’m am however, now in shock. You really are only a wee sping chicken! You have so much more gibber to come and I can’t wait. Sitcom eh? Filums? Go for your life Merrick! Bring it on. Duu!! x

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