Tag Archives: Dumb

Sea! No Hangover…

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Woke up. Stood up. Swaying. Big time. Bounced off one wall. Slid into the bathroom. Drunk? Eh. Hungover? No. Should be. Thankfully. Not in the slightest. Just a tad tired. Drink all the fruity Merlins, Jerk and Merkatinis cocktails that I can come up with. Hangovers don’t exist in the land I’m in now. Figured that out after the first 3 days. No Fear to fear here. Plain sailing. In the land of the sea. Left my brain back at the port. Hangover off! Climb the spiraling stairs from my cabin. Hey hup. Fresh fruit platter me up. Brunch on. Stewardeses scurrying aboot. Smiling while I order. Cursing me with their eyes at my order. Good old healthy eating. Eat what you have to. So you can drink what you want. Wrap it all up with a please and danke. Continue Reading »

Woke Up In A… Holy Funk

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Fun. Here to be had. Overflowing at times. Can too much fun be a bad thing? Eh, no. Last Thursday. Funny night. Disney rated blogaruu, so a few stories will have to wait for book two! Unless you buy me a pint someday and then I will tell you all aboot it. Oh look, you can buy me a pint. Over here -> Paid content all the way! I joke. I swear. Fun night though. When you end up in a pool with your buddy, at 5 in the morning, both wearing swimming shorts belonging to the 10 year old twins of some randomer, thinking everyone else is going swimming as well, but they’re actually not, so it’s just ye, in a freezing pool, with shorts on that fit like thongs, you know it’s a funny night. Even more so when the randomer then… Continue Reading »

Go Flow Go

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A wise old owl once told me: Go with the flow. Seeing as when you do, random, dumb fun things can happen. Friday night, prime example. Last minute, off the cuff, unexpected, unplanned. All of the above. Smattered with hype. Not the greatest night or anything. Just random and quite dumb at times. Galavants are making a comeback. Flowing, going, all the way. Amok on. If nothing else, it’ll give me a few ape soundbites…

“As I looked out the window, I thought to myself: This view is not that great to be true. A car park. I no longer believe this is the presidential suite.”

“As the convertible whizzed through the streets of L.A, I knew I had two options: Either I need to get a haircut, or the roof needs to go back up.”

“As Lindsey handed me the bottle of Crown, I wondered, what are the chances this is laced with ketamine?”

“As I woke up being pierced by the sun, I pondered… Where the funk is my everything?”

Apey mac. Go flow go… Continue Reading »

Battered. Goats. Bruised. Monkeys.

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Sunday nights. Fun times. Numerous reasons. Need to postpone one thing in particular for as long as I can. Gibber on. Sunday nights. Time to look over the weekly to-do list. Usual. See what I managed to get done. Tick. What I did not do. Tut. Pity. X. Then write in random pointless stuff not on the list. But that I did throughout the week. Even things out. All aboot balance. All aboot fooling. For the past hour I’ve been trying to get one final thing ticked off before I go to sleep. Write an article for an Irish paper. Unfortunately. My brain has been distracted. Highly so. Waiting patiently. Waiting for them to show up. Bringing it with them. Distracting. As is. This imaginary goat. The one I can’t stop thinking about. Continue Reading »

Busy, Fool? Nope. Pity Fool.

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White pudding. Black pudding. Slightly different. At the same time. Both pudding. Today reminded me of this fact. Lined up to be a mighty day. By mighty, I mean productive. Being an ediot looks like it could be over. For the time being. Final edits of the book emailed in yesterday. Probably no more. That’s it. I think. Done. Should be it. Should be dancing. Should be good to go. So. Then. Now. What? Crutch has been taken away from me. No longer am I… finishing off the book. Finished. Walking free. Crutch-less. World is my oyster. Time to plough on. Time to get going on the next step. I know what I must do. So. Then. Go? Into the abyss. Determined to fend off the black abyss. The unknown. Just change its name. Not a black abyss of nothing. Endless possibilities of what to do next! White abyss! Here I come!!! Here I… Oh Jesus. Drifting. Don’t know what to do. White. Black. Pot. Tom. Ate. Toe. Lost. Continue Reading »

Randumb

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Brief blogaruu. Update you might say. An announcement. Drum roll. Re de de. The title of my upcoming book shall be… RANDUMB. Giddy up! I wasn’t sure if I was meant to keep it underwraps or not. Should’ve asked sooner I suppose. I have been informed to set her free. Just in case, she’s been registered. Although I don’t think you can register book names. Good work by me. Anyways. Time has come. Open the cage. Away she goes. Randumb. Go on the book! Still tweaking the subtitle…

The Random Dumb Adventures of an Irish Guy in LA

Or, merely…

The Dumb Adventures of an Irish Guy in LA

Or…

The Random Dumb Adventures of an Irish Mark

Or…

The Dumb Adventures of an Irish Mark

Ha, this kind of thing is what has dancing through my head. Devil in the detail. Which to do, which, to, do. Feel free to chime in, comment-wise. The more muddle I get in my head the clearer it might become. Although my publishers could just step in. Continue Reading »