My Baboon And His Balloon

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Harking back to school days, I must admit I was a fan of the odd sick day now and again (I’m also a fan of the fact I opened with a hark). Who wasn’t a fan of sick days in school though. Two were even better. If you were sick for three, then you might as well stay out for the full school week if you were that bad. A nice little holiday out of a crippling whooping cough. Come to think of it, I’m sure I missed weeks and weeks one year because of that cough. Maybe that’s where my ability to catch up and cram like a mad woman came from. Digression… hello and goodbye. Continue Reading »

Toe-Knee! Tow-Me! Eh… Tony!

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Apparently, the average Josephine Soap is more likely to come running to your aid if you shout out ‘Fire, fire!’ as opposed to ‘Help, yelp!’. Apparently. As long as you don’t make it sound like you’re daring your mugger with a gun to shoot. In which case you might be screwed. Another similar sounding word which makes me run, around like a headless chicken, is ‘Fine’. It is an annoying word to be true. Implying one thing. In reality another thing completely. Depending if an ‘a’ is used before it or not. That’s fine. Yeah, that is fine. The weather is fine. It is a fine day! One fine day! No, you idiot. I said that’s a fine. Oh Jesus. Head off. Chicken on. Continue Reading »