So the other day I got this wonderful letter in the post from a blogaruu reader which I thought I would reply to…
‘Howdy,
Just wanted to say great hair! Also. What have you been up to lately?
Goodbye for now,
Murk Waters.’
Howdy yourself, Murk Waters, great to hear from you. Thanks for the hair compliment too, very kind. I’m sure you’ve a fine flowing fro yourself as well. Actually, did I tell you I recently got a haircut? Here’s a photo some clown took of it… Continue Reading »
Not sure where my dose of self-diagnosed claustrophobia came from exactly. Maybe from when I was in fifth class in primary school. And for some reason a group of us were put in class with people in sixth class. The Special Ones, as we called ourselves. Too smart for fifth class! As a result, we were let run free on Continue Reading »
Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of the crust? The heel. You know, the start and end parts of a loaf of bread. Whichever name you want to call that rose. Lot of folk don’t like it at all. But I’m a fan. Particularly when it’s toasted. Tasty. As. Funk!
So when I went to prepare a celebratory meal for myself last night, I did not mind that all I had left was one slice of bread crust. Horsed it into the toaster. Checked the fridge. What else do I have for this fine meal? Hmm. Fridge. Bare. Naked. Tut. Although, I do have two baby tomatoes left. Wonderful. Anything else? Sniff. Balls. Toast. Burning. Burnt. Ah Jiminy. Not to worry, I shall make do. Nothing can sour this mighty celebration!
In the end, I had: One burnt slice of toast. Two sliced tomatoes. And. A glass of gin, to wash it all down. Mmhmmm. Tasty. Horsed it into me. Two bites. Two chugs. Gone. Quite the feast. Quite the celebrations. Standing in my kitchen. Alone. In my underwear. Betsy. Momentous occasion! Rejoice! Could’ve been a burnt sock for all I care. Especially as moments earlier I had finally finished a full draft of my first ever book. Wuu huu!
Close my eyes. Time to sleep through this flight. Eyes shut for a minute. Mambo number five in the aisle bounces off my head. Wakes me up. See something white on my pants as I open my eyes. Oh God. What was I dreaming about? No, this is a small thing. Pick it up. A mint. More to the point, a wet mint. By the looks of it, just fell out of someone’s mouth and onto my lap. Nelly to my right sneezes again. Plane hits a pocket of turbulence. Mambo bounces off me again. See now that it is her ass hitting off me. Feels slightly moist as it bounces off the side of my face. Wet, like the mint. Maybe sweat? Who knows, who cares?
And so began my wonderful flight home to Ireland. For some reason I am unsure of now, I did not Continue Reading »
Enough Talk, More Writing! 