Tag Archives: Visa

Hang On, The Hangover?

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Isn’t that an ingenious title?! No? Thank you, only took me 2 songs to think of it. Anyways, I know I am about a year late, but I finally saw The Hangover tonight. And, to be honest, even though I was hoping it was going to live up to the hype, I thought it fell a bit short. Too many people saying it was too funny and over hyping it a bit up too much. Although it is probably the funniest movie of the summer and all that.

Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was good, especially compared to other recent-ish comedies, but it wasn’t really hilarious. In fact, thinking back about it, there were only a few funny-funny parts. Not a lot of really hilarious scenes though. More just Vegas incidents, tiger in the bathroom, perhaps, as an example. It is nowhere near as good as a Superbad, or the likes, in my opinion at least. I went to see Superbad two days in a row in the cinema with buddies who thought it was equally as good. Chumps? Maybe. Was it worth going again? Definitely.

Tonight as we left the cinema, myself and my buddy were banding around a few quotes from the movie. Or trying to, at least. I think we got as far as one, the pronunciation of retard, ha, which was funny. Think of other movies though, Superbad or Old School for example. A plethora of funny quotes pop into my head straight away (pick any of Frank the Tank’s or any scene from Superbad). Maybe that’s just me, but I couldn’t think of a lot from The Hangover. Which is probably why I think it was over-rated. The fat guy is obviously brilliant and the main guy makes a good lead, but the other parts don’t really shine as much as I thought they would. I think the guy who lost a tooth is brilliant in The Office, but here not as much, only a few laughs? I almost laugh at every line he says in The Office.

Now that I think about other parts, the Chinese guy was kind of funny, but not top dollar, more of a ha, than a proper laugh. Compared to how it turned out in the movie, the Tyson punch looked way funnier in the trailer. What made me leave thinking the movie was initially better than it might’ve have been, were the photos in the end credits. Especially after the boring wedding ending (bar the singer in the band part). The photos just made me think that it would have been some laugh to have made that movie… in Vegas, surrounded with all Vegas has to offer, how could it not have been good?! No wonder they all looked so pleased. 

Anyways, there is a point to me being so critical of a good (but not great) movie. It has spurred me on with the dumb belief that I could do better. I know you might be thinking that I sound like an ape or an arrogant fool, but if I don’t have the faith that I can write a better movie than that, then who will have the dumb faith?!! Bold statement, all I need to do now is shut up and deliver. It will come, we all have a “Good Will Hunting” in us. Believe!

Besides that, kind of related today, was the news that I know now when my visa appointment is to find out do I get my fancy new visa approved. Touch wood. About 3 weeks away for the appointment, so I kind of have a deadline-ish to produce one polished and hilarious script at the very minimum. Deadline all the way. Finally this limbo land living has an end on the horizon!

Has to be done, a few of the best parts of Superbad…

Rainbow Bridge

Big Wave Rider – Rainbow Bridge

Today

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Today, I watched a lot of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Maybe 4 episodes of each. Which is a fair amount when you are not just watching them. More studying the episodes really. Anyways, after all that, I was a bit spaced out of it throughout the day. So much so, I decided to throw my iPod into a bin. Unintentionally. Obviously. Once again, I struggle to multi-task. Or hold a few items in my hands, and know which one to let go off. It was money a couple of weeks back. Now my iPod. Just dumb.

Walking into the gym, I was holding car keys and towel in one hand, empty can of Red Bull and iPod in the other. I wonder which one it was that I wanted to dump. Worst part is, that I actually really  focused on making sure I threw the can into the bin. Well, it seems that I focused on not throwing the keys and towel into the bin. Or the can. I think I stared at my right hand too much (something about the towel had me mesmerized) and forgot there was an iPod in my other hand. Luckily, the bin was full, so the iPod landed on top after I lobbed it in. However, as I was still staring at my right hand, I did not notice what happened at first. When I did, the iPod was already after cleverly finding a route, so that it could sink to the bottom. So that was nice. Shoulder deep in a bin, fishing through wet rubbish for a lifeline of mine. Always fun. At least my iPod survived, wuu!

Today, I got a bit of good news towards my visa application. Which is looking promising. Wuu funking huu for that. Still not in the bag, yet, but it is hopefully en route. Keep the wuu’s on ice I suppose. This did make me realize something though. Fairly obvious really. Well, maybe if you don’t tend to dump iPods, it is obvious. Which is, that the return to L-Hey is on the not too distant horizon perhaps. Still another bit to go, but round 2 is coming up. Time to get prepared. Which I’m not. Coasting along a bit in that sense. I had a meeting earlier, and I was asked what my plan is when I head back. And, being honest, I didn’t really have a definitive plan as an answer. Not even close. Kind of an outline, but not a real plan. And, you know what apes say, every man needs a plan. Or my new ape saying “A goal without a plan is just a wish!”

Today, I also read an article about needing grit to succeed. “Pick a specific goal in the distant future and don’t swerve from it”. I am a big fan of the word grit. Waaay better than that horrific word patience, which I think I may forever struggle to deal with. Patience always makes me think of just sitting around a waiting room, and having to wait to hear back about news. Grit, on the other hand, makes me think of digging in, fighting on, head down and plough on. That kind of gibberish. Patience makes the front of my head throb with annoyance when I think about the word. Grit makes me clench my teeth like a complete ape. Ape over annoyance any day! Grit on.

Not too sure why I thought “Today, I…” would be a good theme, or even a theme for the blogaruu. I will cut it loose and wrap it up. Now that I remembered the word grit existed, I seem to have a new kick of determination. Dumb enough if thats what gives me a kick on, but whatever works! Somehow today, a plan has also been thrown together for me until I get a definite answer for the visa. Write on and build up my artillery of material for the return to L-Hey. The original sitcom perfected, plus 2 spec scripts ready and willing to pimp out. You never know, maybe a short movie on top. Unrealistic? Perhaps. Do I care? Not too sure how that question is relevant. I lost my train of thought. Spaced buzz is coming back. Time to go to stare at that towel. Tomorrow on!

Song or two. I’m a bit obsessed with a remix of the Billy Idol one. And the new Arctic Monkeys song.

Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol

 

Arctic Monkeys

Crying Lightning – Arctic Monkeys

V. Sa. Para. Noia

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I do not know where the day goes, particularly when I feel I get bob all accomplished. Such as today. I decided I would spend the entire day devoted to getting my visa issues sorted. Trying to iron them out so that I could move on to more fun activities like writing my funking sitcom spec! This, the visa issue, is well and truly the most excruciating side of my life at the moment. Forms, rules, regulations and pages of nonsense. No, I have never joined a cult. Or started one. Or intend on starting one. No, I have never laundered money. Or intend to. Or plan on throwing the present government out of power when I get into the States. Or have tried to before. I wonder if anyone has ever actually said yes anyways to these questions. Yup, while others were wasting their time playing pool and chasing girls, I oversaw a genocide regime in my misspent youth.

I am a bit paranoid about saying too much, in case it somehow cropped up on their system. And, obviously, above I am referring to my buddy who is applying for his Canadian visa. All jokes aside, I can see why those questions are in there. Daft and all as they are, if you were to actually have committed any of those crimes or weird things they ask, it might just throw you off enough not to bother applying. I find it hard with the basic sections. I mean, I seriously got stuck and worried today, when I had to fill in the section with the question… “What exactly do you do? Describe briefly.” I have no real clue what I do, so this had me staring at the screen for a while. Far too long. I know what I want to do, but can you really say you’re doing it, until you get a significant validation first i.e t.v show, sitcom, Oscar etc. So I was flummoxed and moved on.

Worse part of all my confusion as well at the moment, is that I actually tried to get a lawyer on board to help me out. This sound guy in California who had been giving me advice and help for free. Unfortunately, to save me money, he told me that I could manage these forms on my own no problem. Just fill them out and send them in. Should be no problem. I don’t think he realized whom he was speaking with. Perhaps he somehow got the impression I was capable, but today has shown me that it will take a few attempts.

Slowly but surely it is dawning on me that it is fairly important that I get the wording exactly right. I can’t see them ruffling my hair and telling me not to worry, we’ll fill in what you meant to say here, there and everywhere else I got it wrong. After spending about 2 hours filling one long form out today, I left the last few pages until I came back from lunch. To my delight, when I returned, the system had timed out (15 minute limit), so I had to start it all over, wuu huu! On the up side, not having to fork out money on an immigration lawyer, means I now have more to spend on bribing t.v folk, which is handy.

Still though, if tomorrow proves to be another day of confusion and 50/50 answers, I think I will have to get back on to the lawyer dude and demand he starts to over-charge me for his help. And by that I obviously mean by buddy who is trying for his Canadian visa should get onto his lawyer. Obviously. I was thinking of why I am paranoid about saying certain things, in certain places, or about certain people at certain times. Usually, it is because that certain person somehow magically appears as I mention his/her name. Here is a prime example…

Every single time I go to San Fran, on my first night out galavanting, I always bump into the same odd dude who I know from college. Just know him, never really great buddies, never had his number or anything, that kind of acquaintance. Whenever I ask him, after just bumping into him, what are you up to, the answer is always the same… “Whatever you’re doing, I’m with ye now for the night.” The job. Harmless (I think, ha), but he is an odd fellow. Not really the intriguing kind of odd either. The scare strangers off, kind of odd. 

First night I ever went out in San Fran, he shows up next to me at a urinal in a bathroom of some pub. He didn’t say anything at first either. Just staring at me with his big One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest gaze. I thought he still lived in Cork, so it was a bit strange seeing him there. Just gazing.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

The next time I was in San Fran at some weird club, maybe a year later, I’m telling my buddy that story while we’re at the bar waiting to get served. How I bumped into him the last time, didn’t even know he lived in San Fran and all that. In that club a little later, I’m chatting to a random girl from South America, not Irish, no link at all to her, just met her that night out. She is there with her sister. And who is chatting to the sister, in this a very random club in San Fran… the same dude!

No joke, a year later, I am in a bar, again on my first night getting into San Fran, telling someone who I was there with, how I hope to God I don’t bump into Geoffrey X again. The minute I said his name, literally, I hear “What’s that meant to mean?” as I look to my right, and see who sitting at the bar…! I mean what the funk?! None of this is made up either, bar the name Geoffrey. Finally, this January, first night I went out in SF while I was there, waiting for a taxi, hundreds of people coming and going around me on the street, I get a tap on the shoulder… Geoffrey! Luckily I was sober enough to think of playing the -too drunk to know who he was or what I was doing- card, and managed to slip away. None of this occurred in the same bar or area even. All different locations. Still though, I am always looking over my shoulder in SF, paranoid that Geoff will crop up to start shouting and tugging at girls in a nutter, yet lovable, manner.

And, obviously, it was Geoffrey who I was referring to about his visa for Canada. I hope he doesn’t mind. Ha, possibly the weakest linkage ever!

Two songs. First is from a band which sound like their album will be slickaruu. This song is on repeat…

Free Energy

Dark Trance – Free Energy

Song which just popped up on my iTunes, odd enough, but good…

Sunset Rubdown

Up On Your Leopard, Upon The End Of Your Feral Days – Sunset Rubdown

Swamp

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Have you ever seen The NeverEnding Story? I am sure you have. If not, you missed out, still not too late I suppose. This scene came into my head today, at numerous stages…

Today, I was drudging through my own swamp! On paper, numerous things looked like they would be swiftly and easily dealt with. Real world, however, tends to be different. Starting with… burning something on to a DVD. In Ireland this simple task is proving to be a tad frustrating. Looking back at my incident in Dublin the last time I needed a reel, being ripped off price-wise for one copy, was a bargain. At least I was on my merry way, the DVD in hand, after only 15 minutes.

Apparently, in Cork, there is only one place that burns DVDs. One place! Out the back of a guy’s house. Oddly, it had actually looked so promising as well. Initially over the phone I was told it would take 5 minutes and only cost €

5. Unfortunately, 40 minutes and numerous failed attempts later, I was asked to come back tomorrow. While he was trying different programs and converters etc, he managed to wipe a few of his own programs, and purchase a few unknown ones. I hope they will not be included in my bill. I got the vibe he thought my Mac file corrupted his PC computer as well. I am apprehensively looking forward to seeing the result in the morning.

Moving on, next thing on paper that looked easy to do… find out how my visa application was bundling along. Took me a while to suss out, that you cant actually ring the embassy either to find out. You must email them, asking will they ring you. The great news is that I have another legion of forms to fill out, and another fee to pay. There is no bad news. Nobody likes filling out forms. That is taken as a given. Part of the process, so no complaints there. Just headaches. And frustration. I was clinging on to those reins wading through the swamp!

Another area I had hoped to make progress on today was with a producer about a show proposal. After getting the unfortunate news that the development executive who I had been dealing with, had become a victim of cut-backs, I was hoping to get a more definite indication from the show’s producer. Obviously, it being swamp day and all, I couldn’t get through to the producer in question. Feeling the need to get some result with this today, I rang the same development executive, to see if she might be able to hunt him down for me. Was he dodging me?! What was going on?! Get me back in the loop!!! As it turns out, he has gone on holidays, so I won’t know anything further for another while. Patience, and keep badgering when he returned, were the two bits of advice I was given. A patient badger it will have to be, swampy.

Overall, a slow enough day. Swamp style. Drudging on. Alas, I was so hopeful as well for today. Especially with all my intent last night, being so unjustifiably buoyant after my vlog. I know see how miniscule this accomplishment is in the bigger picture. However, I’ll still look through my own picture frame! Unfortunately, I don’t have the randomness of a Monday night out in L.A to save the day, but it will spark into life soon. Keep the faith. Falcor is coming. Oh Jesus…

Song from the swamp, which I’m sure the horse was humming to himself as he went down… 

Iggy Pop

The Passenger - Iggy Pop

Bob Hope, Bob Dole, and Bob Hoff!

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I have yet to see the movie “The Hangover”. However, I have been told it is brilliant, hilarious, and some other complimentary adjective which eludes my tired brain at this point. So, after waking up this morning, it is safe to say that the movie is in no way related to, or set in, Ireland. Today was my first proper hangover since being home, and I woke up with the hope completely gone. Depressing, painful, and regretful, it would make a horrendous movie. Not even the regret of… oh no, not her, again. Even worse, the more common regret in Cork… ugh, why did I bother going out. Someone had burst my bubble, I was after being infected. However, I found a cure within minutes. Gay gym remix on! I was back again, oddly and annoyingly optimistic!

Speaking of which, I must say mucho gracias to Jim Magilton for hooking me up with le gymnasium. And, on an unrelated subject, how wonderful the gym in the hotel near my house is, you should really check it out if you can. Ha. Anyways, I figured out last night, that if someone uses the term “Ah, I’m only joking” after a statement made to you, they are, without a shadow of a doubt, not joking. It would appear to me as well, that some people have double standards when it comes to mocking, and being mocked back in return. As in ‘Jesus, your hair is atrocious” being retaliated with… Thanks, the smell of curry from your fake tan blends in nicely with your b.o…  to me, at least, is tit for tat. Others do not seem to think so. Bald people mocking my hair, on the other hand, is funny.

Another thing which I realized last night, and I am sure everyone knows this already, is that gimps who pretend to be buddy buddy with you when they are sober, then have as many snakey pops off you while they are drunk, are the biggest gimps of all. Ah, I’m only joking. Seriously though, funking apes. Final thing which I noticed, en route home, was that my cab man looked like he kept on dozing off at the wheel. Actually, he was dozing off at the wheel, there was no looked like it about it. It was bizarre. I think he was on heroine. Seriously. Ha. And, once again, I am only joking. Although, in his defense, I did most of the talking on the way home, so I might have bored him to sleep.

Since the last blogaruu, progress has been made on a few fronts. In case you might be wondering, like I am myself now, what these fronts are… 1. Getting back to L.A to shoot some scenes 2. Building up as many contacts as I can back here in Ireland 3. Acting/writing/stand-up/D.J opportunities. 

Getting back to L.A – a phone meeting was held with a visa lawyer in Yankland. Apparently there are 3 possible visa routes available to me, pending certain factors. Bizarrely, these are now related to writing and D.J’ing, looks like my Masters is no longer of any use, entertainer on! Since a few people were genuinely concerned for me last night about this department, I must ring back again tomorrow to learn more, so updates will be forthcoming. And, seeing as others were genuinely wanting me back out of Cork as soon as possible, those updates will also be for you.

Making contacts and networking – Firstly, people in Ireland do not give themselves enough credit. I am still split on why this is… modesty, or lack of confidence. Some people, if you ask them for advice, will modestly tell you that they don’t know anything, shur I’m only X, Y or Z. Yeah, actually, you’re far further up the ladder than I am, any help will do. Over in Hollywood, people are dispensing advice all over the place. Obviously a lot of it is waffle, but better to have too much advice thrown at you, then none at all.

Thinking about it, maybe them being modest is why they got a bit of success. Nothing worse than being a cocky fool, who thinks they know it all, and have nothing to back it up with. We all know plenty of fools like that. Just like… Moving on, some people have been hooking me up as well, giving me nuggets of info, so I have a few things lined up for this week up in Dubla. Boring, rambling update really, ha.

And as many fingers in as many pies update… my DJ’ing debut in the Emerald Isle is lined up next Saturday in Cork! Re de de, how will my laptop and I get on. Will people be baying for some gay gym remixes. Or will they want to bottle me for not playing proper rock. Or will people even show up. You must be so nervous for me. Oh. My. God. Like Rent, Spud, Sick Boy and my cab man last night, my cash flow is in need of the injection, so happy days. And, still waiting for it to be confirmed, but hopefully I’ll be making my stand-up debut up in Dublin this Tuesday. Which should be hilarious. In a bald people mocking my hair kind of way. Oh Jesus.

As my notebook have been full for the past few days, I have had nothing to write my gibberish down on and remind me of at a later date, so thats about it for now. I need a better phone too, where I can just write stuff at length into it, instead of having to save texts of gibberish to myself. If there is any Jim out there wanting to hook me up, think of the magnificent, hidden, shrouded plug you might get in return. Well worth it!

And, speaking of which, last bit… ALESSANDRO, there is your shout out for recommending a name for the book or sitcom. Just after remembering too, but seeing as one guy cried on the spot, a la acting class, and another quoted a few lines from the blog, CRYING DUDE and STRIPEY SHIRT, there are your mentions! Happy days all round. I am a big fan of yours too. Ah, I’m only joking.

Two songs of the weekend, from the same band which I only just found…

Miike Snow - Animal

Animal - Miike Snow

Faker - Miike Snow