Category Archives: Writing

Such A F$&@^!*KING CARROT!!

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Robot High School – My Robot Friend

All has be quiet on the wonderful blogaruu. Head down. Editing on. So far, so mighty. Soon ye shall see and read and laugh and weep and dance and be merry!

Oh ’twill be a glorious day, to be true.

Besides that, I have kept my venturing out to a minimum. Bar some improv shindigs (mighty) and the odd Christmas shopping hunt (also quite mighty). Although, I did go out Saturday night. An odd occurrence: I was not DJigging. Blip in the system. Matrix messed up. Threw me for a loop. What to do? I know. I’ll just go to the bar where I was meant to be DJing, collect a cheque owed to me and have a pint or nine. Because people simply love going into where they work when they’ve the night off! Look-at-me-outside-of-work-hours, kind of thing. Clown. Continue Reading »

Why Do You Like Riding Hippos?

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An Argument With Myself – Jens Lekman

Sometimes a YouTube video can evoke so many questions:

  • Who are these people?
  • Is there actually a child in that pram?
  • Why does he like riding hippos?
  • What is the difference between liking someone and fancying them?
  • How big is his chest?

Saw this gem a few years back. Next day it was taken down. Thought it was lost forever. Thankfully: She has returned! Might be my favourite video ever. Two people arguing on a street in a town in Ireland. Quite simple. Ridiculously funny. Swearing is involved, so dodge on if that’s not your thing. Oh how I miss Ireland…

Eyes – Kaskade feat. Mindy Gledhill

Hello, Ian…

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Handle With Care – Traveling Wilburys

So the other day I walked into the doctor’s and said:

Hello, doctor Ian, I have this slight cough for a while now, can you-

Say no more, he said, just drop the pants, jump up on the bed, lie on your side and we’ll take a look. 

Down they went. Up I jumped. Over I lay. And only then did I think:

Hmmm. O-Kaaaayyyyyyy!

So that was odd. Cold. Knuckley. And uncomfortable.

But at least the cough’s now gone.

Finger Licking Bad

Speaking of fingers, there I was yesterday, dressed as a leper chaun, getting ready Continue Reading »

The Lump

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Harvest Moon – Neil Young

For all of those asking, I’ve been on a breaking. Finished up a big lump of a book draft, over 171,000 words of muck. Some chunk. Needed a break for a week. Thank you.

While on holiday I’ve been spending some time in a couple of my buddies’ studios. Working on their albums. I sat in. Watched them weave their magic. Unleash their genius. Fun to watch. Funking mighty, actually. Some ridiculously savage songs on the way. Ye heard it here first! Gems all round!!!

While watching and inputing and twiddling and singing along, I also realised that them and I are all in a similar situation. Kind of. See, they’re working on albums. I’m working on a book. They have lots of songs. I have lots and lots of words. They need to pick out the best ones. And I need to pick out my best ones. Amazing.

However, mine is a far, far, far tougher task. Obviously. Continue Reading »

Rudebox Radio!

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Fine folk of le blogaruu! Have a listen to me being interview gibbered by Robbo Williams about my book RanDumb as part of his new show Rudebox Radio. My drone comes in around the 63 minute mark. Just before Gary Barlow. Listen on! Duu…

Read more from Robbo -> Go down, say some words… Bang!

Take Me Back To Piaui – Juca Chaves

The Mermaid Man

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Mercy – Edit Murphy

So yesterday was the West Hollywood Book Fair. And it went mighty! Ish. Slightly mighty. Good hoot. Bar getting the boot. Kicked out a book fair. Harsh.

So I head down to the fair. Told I’m in this area where other writers are also set up. Stage. Mic. Table. Old people. Lots of old people. Big fan of old folk. Just not my main target market.

Also situated just downwind of drainage pipes. Not the glamour one might never associate with a book fair. Pretty soon it’s figured this is not the most happening spot. Scouts are sent out. Seems that up above and around the corner is far more lively. Where all the bookstores are. Where all the people are. Where potential customers are waiting for me!

Mosey on up. See a booth with a spare table. Quick bit of bluffing. Bucket load of charming. Slight dash of chancing. I now have my own full booth courtesy of a Mystery Book publisher. Wuu. Duu! (Had to tell them RanDumb was purely a romance novel – I love myself! – so not their competition. Chance. On.)

Far better location. In the middle of the fair. People all aboot. Various sorts of booths and authors around me. Guy who played Hercules and Steve-O from Jackass directly in the booth across from me. Competition. Time to dominate. Who cares if they have lines queuing up for autographs and photos?! We have Guinness! Continue Reading »