I’m A Little Teapot…


Sweet Disposition (Joe Maz Remix) – Temper Trap

In case you were wondering, not every day in L-Hey is nuts. Today was pretty normal. Shopped. Washed. Gymed. Chilled. Mostly recovered. Sunday was pretty mighty. Man cures. Just the one. Happy hour. Oh Jesus. Pub crawl. Impromptu. Riding mechanical maniac bulls. Singing the booze. Bumping into randomers. Bringing along stragglers. Ploughing on. Finishing it all off with a night cap and deep gibberish conversations in a car park at half two in the morning. Savage day. But kind of normal, in a way. Could happen anywhere. Unlike, say, Saturday. Funk me pink. Uniquely L-Hey day. Random. Dumb. Full on fun!

Up at 7 bells for a photo shoot. Random. 3 hours sleep due to DJigging. Dumb. Not too sure what the shoot’s for. Need a few professional photos to add to my  portfolio of one headshot. So I’m told. So I’m in. Cover of Women’s Weekly all the way! Shoot was on in Santa Monica. Pier. Beach. Lovely. Arrive. Cloudy. Grey skies. Looks like it might rain. Waves crashing in. Bed calling. Start throwing it out there that maybe we should reschedule. Wait for better light. Sheen from the sea is very bright. Spouting out complete gibber. Vain attempts to get me back to bed. No joy. Heere now, let’s see what we can do. Cue teapot.

Give Me Your Best Confused, Smiling, Tired Look...

Warm up. Clickity click. Even though I pose freely and weirdly when looking in the mirror, I’m not the greatest poser when taking photos. In fact, you might say, I am horrendous at posing for photos. My face has multiple spasms. Where should I put my arm? Where does this leg go? Am I meant to get naked? Too soon? Should I be serious? Smile? Wink? Cough? What’s going on?! Technically, I’m signed to LA Models (LA Talent, one, both, who knows) so the photographer assumes I know what’s going on. Tells me to just do my thing. Great. My thing turns out to be looking like a tired teapot. Eyes barely open. Put one hand on the  hip. Hold the other up here, on a beam. I’m a special teapot. Looking like a trout. Good laugh in fairness. Rusty at first. Warmed up once I stripped down. Clothes off. Pose on…

Right after the photo above, a large friendly wave crashed a shore, and nicely soaked me neck to heel. Mighty dancing. Pocket full of sea water. Head full of sand. Tough work, modeling malarky. Battling the elements. Might be better behind the camera. I’ve an eye for taking award winning photos, like this mighty one I snapped of my friend Kailand, the main attraction of the day…

Junior League Side

One wet model. One wetter teapot. Shoot done. Happy days. Time to bounce. Game of 5-a-side to play. Home. Change. Up to the Field of Dreams. Mulholland Drive. Gypo Select – vs – JLS. At first, I thought we were playing against a Junior League Side.  Cool. Sounds good. Realised then we were playing a popular boyband from England. Oh right. How’s it going. Sound lads. Handy players too. Good game of fussball. Unfortunately they came up against gypsy might. 3 hours later, retire to the clubhouse for refreshments. Savage way to spend a Satur day…

King Of...

By now, feeling a tad goosed. Little sleep. Lot of sweat. Home for a kip could be on. First. Quick dip in my buddy’s pool down the road. Rude not to. Swim on. We all head down. Walk into the house. Through the kitchen. Stop off for a quick apple. Chat to everyone who’s in the kitchen. Lady of the manor and her friends. Hi. How’s it going. Not too bad. Yeah, mighty game. Gibber. Gabber. And then I’m introduced to a Princess. Not as in: She’s a right old princess, isn’t she, sweet Lord. Nay. As in: An actual Princess. 5th in line to the throne, I think. Possible future Queen of a country. Hey hup. Pardon. Oh, howdy. Introduced to her Mum. The Duchess. How do you duu. Not sure of the proper etiquette to greet royalty. Do I genuflect. And then salute. With an apple stuck in my mouth? Apparently this is the exact way to do it. Go me!

Good chat with the Duchess about Cork. Big fan. Loves the Irish. Mentions she has stables near Kinsale. As it happens my buddy Jimmy O’ Malley (visiting from New York, single parenthood is back!) is from Kinsale so the two of them then have a chat about stables there or something. Kind of zoned out for that bit. Tasty apple. Royalty folk are sound. Normal as can be. Wonder if there’s some way I could be King some day. Be a nice touch. Hang on. Ears perk up. Offers of Guinness are handed out. The Duchess  wants to go boozing with me. Sounds like a plan. More banter. Finish the apple. Alright so. Time for a swim. Run off. Dive into the hot swimming pool. Slip down the slide. And we are dancing. Betsy! All in all, randumb fun day. Good laugh. Skimped a bit on details here, there, somewhere. Era shur. Needs to be done. And then, we all went to the pub.  Guinness on!

Tom The Peeper – Act 1

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