Tropical Hayes!

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For reasons unknown, all names shall be culled from this blogaruu. Except for mine. I’m going full on narcissistic. Tropical Hayes all the way!

So it’s the day after Halloween. Actually, the night. Limo pulls up outside my abode. It’s time. Put on my private jet pants. Grab my bag. Scuttle out. Hop in. High fives. Hello’s it going. And we’re on our way. Bob Hope airport. Here we dumb. Get lost en route. Find it again. Arrive. Punch in a code. Drive through a gate. Get out of the car. Look at our jet. Say hi to the pilot. And just walk on. The mightiest way to travel. No lines. No queues. No security. In. On. Out. Mighty!

Must say, this jet was the best I’ve been on. Leather here. Plush there. King size bed in the back. Pardon? What do you mean? A bed? In the back? Yes. A big old bed in the back. Mile-high-ty! We sit down. Hostess brings us a round of champagne. When in a Rome… Cheers! Wheels start rolling. You’re getting comfortable. And then suddenly you’re up, up and wahey! Way faster than a regular jet. Almost goes up like an elevator. Shwooop. Air born again. New beginning. On our way to an island in the Caribbean. Pants off. Caribb on! Continue Reading »

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It Was All A Dream… (Part II)

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Dreadlock Holiday – 10cc

‘Hey mon… Hey womon… Hey wom-on, come sit on my lap wom-on. I take good care of you my wom-on, OK. You no need to worry about any of that no more my wom-on. You be my white prin-cess…’

Within an hour of landing, I had become a fully fledged Pirate of the Caribbean. (Illegally downloaded a copy of RanDumb from a torrent site. Say nothing.) Within a week of landing, this pirate had been transformed. Adventure. On! 

So we land. Get off the jet. And then what? Drive through a pitch black rainforest, past pineapple fields, up to the top of a mountain, to a secluded hidden restaurant that turns out to also be an art gallery, overlooking the island – Check!

My mouth started Continue Reading »

Bape

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An oasis. A quiet cove. An island. A little hideaway. Pointless analogies, flow on. Anyways, I recently discovered somewhere to chill. Alone. No-one else around. Not in the cave way. Out in the open. Lapping up the sun. Luckily, right in my abode. I have a pool. Lucky me. Apartment pool and all that. Usually these pools have people floating in, around, aboot and on them. At least a cluster of people. Thankfully, since I live in a chasm of silence (bar that one cat), my pool is a desert. Which is the complete berries. Chill. Sleep. Tan. Naked. Pardon. What. Do whatever you want. No disruptions. Happy days. Which is where I was on Saturday, reading the Alchemist. Until, the cove was breached. First time it’s happened. Bit of a balls. Figuratively. Literally. Making me pretend to be asleep. In an attempt to dodge a request. Allowing my mind to wander. And to think if I was to write my own fable… Continue Reading »