Sometimes a YouTube video can evoke so many questions:
Who are these people?
Is there actually a child in that pram?
Why does he like riding hippos?
What is the difference between liking someone and fancying them?
How big is his chest?
Saw this gem a few years back. Next day it was taken down. Thought it was lost forever. Thankfully: She has returned! Might be my favourite video ever. Two people arguing on a street in a town in Ireland. Quite simple. Ridiculously funny. Swearing is involved, so dodge on if that’s not your thing. Oh how I miss Ireland…
Sometimes I like to just go for a cruise and think about the Dutch way of life. Not sure why. Other times I like to go up to Mulholland Drive and gibbering along on my buddy’s podcast. So here is episode two of that! (Apologies. Horrendous. Ha.)
I do believe my stint as a weather girl is my best input: Hot. Apres that. Ahem. Listen on… Continue Reading »
Blogaruu, she’s been a while! My bad for the delay. Quite busy with vital stuff. Such as realising that I might be a fairy (apparently fairies can only handle or feel one emotion at a time. I am a full on fairy. Call me Tinker). And speaking of menstrual cycles… So back in the day, whenever a girl complained to me about cramps, I would complain back about people who complain a lot. Until I realised I actually can empathise. I too get man periods. Once a month. Every month. Rent cramps kick in. So now, I feel their pain. Similarly, whenever a girl complained about the thought of giving birth, I would shrug my shoulders and mention never having to deal with the pain of getting a kick in the fuss-balls. Until for some reason I thought about it like this: Imagine a little person exiting through the back door of your gift shop. If you know what I mean. I don’t think guys can fathom anything leaving through the front door, what with us not having one and all. But the back door seems to make it imaginable. Imagine that pain. Ripping. Tearing. Uncooperative. Sweet. Holy. Jesus. Must be ridiculous. Even thinking of it now is making my sphincter scream and squirm. So now I kind of understand the terror girls must have. Even worse, imagine if after all that, the child was to turn out like someone like the person writing this? For all that pain?! Dose. Apologies, Mum. Continue Reading »
Invaluable few lessons have re-reared their heads in the past few days. Just in case I ever forgot…
1. It only takes an instant to dislike me.
Kind of odd. Take tonight. Met my buddy Chowder in Barneys for a pint. Ordered up. Standing at the bar. Random girl sitting on a bar-stool groans at me… Can you leave?
Excuse me? I don’t like the look of you. You’re in my way. Just leave.
What do you mean? Do I know you? What’s your problem? Get out of my area!
(Now is when I copped on that this strange ape was instantly offended merely by my presence. Oddly, I instantly disliked her just by her mouth opening.)
So I said… Pardon? (While thinking: What a ghoul bag).
She said… Are you deaf? Get out of my area, I can’t see the rest of the bar.
So I said… Pardon? (While thinking: Her friends are quite hot. Pity she’s an ape).
She said… Are you dumb too? Do you not speak English? Get away from this area! You’re blocking my view.
So I said… Pardon? (Thinking: And her breath stinks. Three for three).
She said… Can you not say anything else? I’m warning you. Leave! You’re so ugly.
So I said… Continue Reading »
My ability to blogaruu is currently being hampered by other projects. And perhaps a 3-day hangover to boot. Ugh boots off. Projects on! Good few stories building too. Laziness is a divil. Go on the VIP at the Lakers! She shall come. For now. Pod on, pod on, pod on pod on pod on pod on pod ooooon, p-p-p-pod on…
Enough Talk, More Writing! 