Category Archives: Book

Obeasts!

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Learning To Fly – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Close my eyes. Time to sleep through this flight. Eyes shut for a minute. Mambo  number five in the aisle bounces off my head. Wakes me up. See something white on my pants as I open my eyes. Oh God. What was I dreaming about? No, this is a small thing. Pick it up. A mint. More to the point, a wet mint. By the looks of it, just fell out of someone’s mouth and onto my lap. Nelly to my right sneezes again. Plane hits a pocket of turbulence. Mambo bounces off me again. See now that it is her ass hitting off me. Feels slightly moist as it bounces off the side of my face. Wet, like the mint. Maybe sweat? Who knows, who cares?

And so began my wonderful flight home to Ireland. For some reason I am unsure of now, I did not Continue Reading »

BAAAaack In The US-Wahey, I Am…

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Born In The USA – Bruce Springsteen

Back in LA-wahey wuu huu! Mighty quick trip back to Ireland. Nice if it was longer but what can you duu? I came. I kissed. I conquered. Castles. Stones. Mead. The whole shebang. Weddings. Whistles. Wallops. Some hoot. Even had the odd owl. Speeches. Stand-up. Sheep. Good bit to catch up on in the old blogaruu. Need a day or two to let it percolate in my brain. Until then, how about an article I wrote for a Sunday newspaper this week. Life of a Chancer. Read. On. Continue Reading »

Come On You Boys & Girls In Green…

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Everybody’s Gotta Live – Love

Ever look out the window and wonder who was the handsome feck staring back at you and then you realise that the window is actually a mirror??! That happened.

Ever been DJigging and a randumb Irish guy comes up to you to say “Are you the guy from Cork? Your GAA team is Continue Reading »

Ode My God…

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Assassin’s Tango – John Powell

Sweet Lord. Would you look at this. A mighty RanDummy (@Janebustard) has written a gem all about RanDumb. Some odyssey. Ode on!

An Ode to RanDumb… 

Have you ever heard of Mark Hayes?
He’s an Irish guy, lives in LA.
He’s a writer of note
And I’d give him my vote
And his third book is now underway.
**
Mark Hayes has a talent you see
He is charming as well, you’ll agree.
He can DJig it too
And do stand up, it’s true
He’s a man of all talents is he.
**
So he started a blog on the net
Making notes, so he wouldn’t forget
All the things that he did
Trying to earn a few quid
And the oddest of people he’d met.
**
Mark’s blog got the name “Trickaduu”
Where’d that come from? I haven’t a clue…
It’s a pretty cool name
And deserves some acclaim
As do all Mark’s wee sayings, like “Duu”.
**
Moving on to Mark’s mighty first book
It’s called RanDumb, you must take a look
You will love it I’m sure
When you’ve read it, you’ll whure…
Or start talking Mark’s gobbledegook!!! Continue Reading »

My Piece of Crap Joke #19 (Also: Edit)

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Float – KO KO

Ever get into a machine mode? As in you are Charlie Sheen’s Mum? (Ma Sheen. Get it? Hilarious.) Today was one of those days. Mighty. Dawn to dawn. (Nice girl.) Got some amount of buckets of work done. As in… Well, nothing concrete that I will bore you with now. But, let’s just say, it’s at least like wet cement at the moment. Let it sit. Let it settle. Let it go. Even now the gibber is still flowing. So. I made a video. Because I am an enigmanure. Obviously. Joke of the Day – Wahey!

Oh. And there was also this fine spread in an Irish paper today. Me naked legs spread wide over two pages. Mighty mighty. Although I was promised a seven page spread. But I’ll get over that. One thing that is odd to see is when your stuff is edited or quotes are just made up. Never really a fan of that. In case you ever wondered what goes on in the editing world, here’s an example of a slight edit… Continue Reading »

12000+ Downloads. Yee Huu. Thank Duu!

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Super Morrissey Bros – Lazyitis

Since we last gibbered, there has been some mighty dancing. Books. Flying. Shelves. Off. Into. People. Eyes. Bodies. Minds. Souls. RanDumber came out. RanDumb got an Amazon push. Twelve thousand people downloaded the dancer in the first three days. A fairy’s tale. Infected with my feck. Spreading the good word. #1 on Amazon Humor in the US and the UK at the same time. Right up there with Tina Fey and Karl Pilkington. #39 in Amazon overall I do believe.

Whured my dear life out. Book on. Had mighty help from numerous folk. Twitter. Facebook. Forums. Bookclubs. Here, there and all in our underwear. Thanks to all who spread the word. Thanks to all who downloaded. Thanks to those who already left mighty reviews. And also, in no particular order, a special thank duu to these mighty Twitter folk for helping to spread the word:

@Janebustard @Silke_tweets @CatChaton @katybaines @moonii__ @Mellers1313 @TeamBarlliams @luv4rob @antomalachite @cp148 @luacen @bbggmum @Sheriblue @AmyGawthorpe @Nuria1966 @rocketjsquirrel @mykai @KatharineAshe @meandmybigmouth @damienmulley @victorbarry @lanlih @PeterORiordan1 @jennywho @dingadeal  @davidgaughran @eims_mc @tomholohan

Amazon knows best… Continue Reading »