On a personal note, the words have not been flowing the past day or so. On a note which you will be happy to hear, as a result, there shall now only be minimum fanfare to celebrate the 100th blogaruu!
Perhaps I should start with a poll. Especially seeing as the last one was so highly successful (16 votes, wuu)
As a token of my appreciation to all those who have been reading the blog, or read the blog at all – as of right this second, all 13, 038 of ye (I know, I know, doesn’t work like that but who’s counting anyways) – I have decided not to play any trumpet song.
Instead, here is a short medley of remixed songs for you to download. Additional mixing is only superb! Spoof! Use it for the gym perhaps. Or use it to free Jim. Either way, at this moment in time, I have nothing else to give. Enjoy! (Including The Rolling Stones, The Clash, Chris Cornell and Kanye West, all amongst one other, all gym’ed up!)
“Hi, Atus, how are ya boyo?” Not too bad boss, what are you up to? “I’m off for a brief while” Cool, good duck!
My gibberish talk to myself shall all be revealed in time. I presume that alone will have everyone on the edge of their seats, re de de. And if it does have you on the edge of your seat, why are you not already up dancing to the medley I posted?
Finally, a visual perhaps to make up for the lack of words. I forgot to post any of my photos from my horrendous disposable camera a while back, so here is the best one by a country mile. And before you ask, or say it to yourself, the answer is yes, the rest were that bad as to make this one, the best… 4 Monkeys and 1 Ape.
The following three adjectives might sum up why I am not yet back in L.A, typing this up… stupidity, impatience, and my inability to wait for the website page to load to confirm my flight had actually been booked, instead of me closing it down in a rush to leave the house. Maybe prolix should’ve been the third one. (Ha, just in case, like me, you have to look that up, click here). Anyways, luckily for you, even though I said I would only blogaruu from on when in L.A, a few events have taken place over the past few days, which have urged my typing hand to type.
Firstly, the draft of the episode has more or less been fully completed. Re-writes are slowing down to roughly only one a day, so I think it is good to go. In fact, is has gone, been emailed out to a few people in L.A already, time for the offers to flood in. Nay. Completing the episode and emailing it off to interested parties has actually provided me with far less satisfaction than I would previously have imagined. Far, far less. Which is actually a good thing.
Now it is written, so what, well done. Same as writing a good song perhaps, lyrics mean bob all on paper. I now need music, and singers! If you get what I mean. The script is longer than one (well, I) might have imagined, almost 50 pages. Getting someone to sit down and read all this, fully as to get the humour and all that, is asking a tad much. Particularly when I am who again? The key here is to get my visual, any visual, to accompany my script. I am aiming for a few scenes to make a mini episode out of them, but even if I can get one in the time which I have left, I shall be pleased. Moderately. At least then I can show a 5 minute clip, or a 30 second clip, giving the feel that I am aiming for, and luring, whoever it may be, in with my packet of sweets and my cheesy reel, so that they will want to then read the magnificent episode!
Another event to have occurred since last blogaruu, was a little old D.J gig, in a bar here in San Frankisco. Finally, a flow of money inwards was on the cards, but everything comes out a cost. Including money. I was told beforehand that it might not be the kind of crowd that I play to regularly down in L.A, i.e the crowd at the gym. Not too worry, I told them in return, I also D.J in a bar in L.A, I am very adaptable, I have a broad range. My one request, is that you have none. Ok, cool, should be good, just bring a few Irish songs along with you in case. No, I shall not, I will win them over with my remixes. Take them on, head first. If the women and the gay guys in the gym love them so much, then your punters surely will too.
Happy enough that my name was up in lights outside the door as I entered the bar… Tonight “D.J No Requests” All the way from L.A!!! A new name is added to the list. To say that the bar was packed, might be a bit of an exaggeration. It was busy, ish. Very ish. To say that the bar was Irish, might be a bit of an understatement. Think of a bar in a little village somewhere in West Cork, with a few American tourists after wandering in, and you might get a visual of the place. Pre-tty Irish. I was asked to stop the music at about 12 o’ clock for a while so a raffle could take place. Gay gym remixes all the way!
First song in, I decided I would play a little medley I had prepared, wow them with my D.J’ing skills. The first section of the medley had barely kicked off, when some drunk dude comes stumbling up… “Will you play that s**t song, Poker Face? Play that for me, I like that” No, did you not see the sign at the front door. He started to give me weird looks, copping on that I was Irish too, which threw him off. I gave in, easiest way to get rid of him would be to just play the song, so told him cool, no problem, and played the remix I have… “I Poke Her Face”, which I think he liked. Thankfully that was the only request I got all night. Nay. The requests came flooding in, a wide and varying range… “Play some Scooter”… “Play some heavy metal rock, then some Scooter”… “Play that band I loved back home, Cascade?”… “Do you know this song (and this is no lie, he thought I would get it from this) – Do do doooo doo do dooo dada – that dance one?” No, sing it again for me… “La la laaa la le da da doo da – you do know it? Everyone knows that, what kind of D.J are you?”… Eye balls me up and down as I shake my head and laugh at his attempt… “You’re some s**t D.J”. Cheers bud!
One guy in particular grew an immense dislike for me, in such a short time too. “Play me some rock will ya, some heavy s**t, all my friends are D.J’s, its cool, I know what I am on about” (Incidentally, this was at my highest point, when I started to play the gym remix section, which had the crowd pumping and actually on the dance floor) Hang on two minutes, I’ll play it in a while for you, just hang on. “Play it now, I want to rock out before I go home” Hazarding a guess, this guy was closer to 40 that 20. Also very drunk, and gripping an empty bottle while looking me up and down. So he decided to hang on for the rock, standing next to me, looking at me with disgust.
Eventually, I decided to throw in a rock song. A Metallica one, just like he asked. The floor had died down at this stage, to the point where he was the only person on it. And he started rocking on, air guitaring his heart out, but not in a piss take way, this was life and death stuff. Until he realized that it was not the version he was expecting, but a remix one. Ha, he flipped, straight up “For f**k’s sake, you pr**k, play me a rock one, my friends D.J too, they play rock for me.” Again, gripping his empty bottle and eye-balling me. So, obviously seeing as I am so obliging and all, I played him another rock song. Which was also a remix. “You f**king pr**k, you’re a c**t, you know that, stop DJ’ing up the song and let me rock out!”
By this time the dance floor had picked up a bit again, the rest of the crowd enjoyed the remixes it seemed. This little angry ape of a man was now in the D.J booth next to me, informing me that I was a s**t DJ, really s**t, his friends are way better. Now that I had a view of him almost face in my face, I would confidently say he was almost 40. “I’ve never liked you playing here before. You’re always s**t when you play here. If you don’t play me a rock song, I’ll bottle ya, ya f**king pr**k”. I decided not to inform him that it was my first time, and high possibility my last time, playing at the venue. Instead I gave him a patronizing smile, wink, nod and a thumbs up. Strangely, this calmed him down, maybe thinking I was being serious.
Either way, as he walked back onto the dance floor, over to his group to inform them of how s**t I was, I decided to play him this great rock song, one he would be able to truly rock out to… 99 Red Balloons.
Ha, he went mental, by the looks of it his friends had to hold him back, and “If I didn’t know your cousins, I’d smash the bottle over ya”. Again, I gave him thumbs up, two this time, rock on! I meant to ask him for a favour before he left, but decided against it. He would’ve been an ideal candidate to read my episode and give me an honest opinion though! At the end of the night, last song over, a few of his friends moseyed on over… “You’re not Irish, are ya?” Sorry to disappoint you, but yes, I too am Irish. “Well, you’re not from Cork”. Again, apologies, but I actually am. “You’re not from Wishht Cork anyways. Because that’s where I’m from!” You got me there, well done! Delighted, knowing looks spread on their faces… a “Thank God this quare isn’t one of us too” kind of look. Yeah, thank God. Besides these minor incidents, coupled with the sound system almost blowing out, which nearly blew out my ear drums, all in all, it was a good night!
Almost wrapping up, 3 little bizarre incidents that occurred today that I feel the need to type about, maybe just so that I can remember again if needed. 1. My toothbrush snapped in half while brushing my teeth earlier. Strange enough. 2. My nose started to bleed uncontrollably in the gym while I was doing a squat. Worryingly weird. And 3. On the way home from the gym a homeless woman flashed me her left… ? Guess. Delightful.
Finally, I got a bit of bad news today, so not sure how long more this section of the L.A adventure, and in turn, perhaps the blog, will carry on for. 99 Red Balloons has another symbolic meaning too, can you figure out why? Re de de, the next blogaruu might be the…
Besides the obvious, classic rock song above, 99 Red Balloons by Nena, the other song for this day, which is either highly annoying, or strangely good…
Combination Pizza Hut & Taco Bell (Wallpaper Remix) by Das Racist
There shall be no more long, looong posts giving writing advice, or any advice really being dished out, it has more or less been decided. The reason being, using this simple metaphor, is that if you wanted to find out about cars, you would probably go to a mechanic. Or someone who knew what they were on about. You would not go to an idiot who would know bob all about them… “Yeah, the key goes here, and then the petrol goes there, and thats about it I’d say” then giving you two thumbs up. As a side note, there shall also be no car related advice either.
Today has been spent trying to thrash out the last few scenes of the sitcom episode. The worst thing I could’ve done was get so much done in one day, a few days back. I set the bar too high, or else made myself relax too much. I have the end all in my head, good to go, but for some reason I do not seem to want to put it on paper. Perhaps, it is because I got an old bout of doubt today. This episode is average, grand, is it really even funny… that kind of thing. I think I need someone who either has never met me before, or read the blog, to read the episode, so that I can get a fully impartial opinion. Or someone who is not a fan of mine, in the slightest. Surely, in fact I am positive, that there is a bucket load of people who fit that description.
I’ll snap out of the doubt by tomorrow, back on the horse again, almost there and all. I half decided today as well only to blog on, from now on, when I am in L.A, as that is 99.9% of the reason people read the blog. I think, or presume anyways. Stats alone have shown that if I throw a celebrity name into any story, the reading figures will go through the roof.
For example, the most eventful thing to happen to me, today, was being chatted up by a girl, in a very mundane situation. This might be stating the obvious, but I am a big fan of when a girl goes out of her way, to chat me up. Who isn’t? I think the reason why, for me, is that it is so rare. To be chatted up, unexpected, without initiating. I am a fan. Usually I would be the one with a dumb old approach, not that hers was dumb. It was just so ordinary, going out to my cousin’s jeep to get my phone, and being asked for my number.
See, that in itself is a fairly pointless and stupid story. The kind of one which I have previously stated I would not tell, as nobody wants to hear those kind of stories. People are probably reading it, saying to themselves “What an ape, who cares? So what, do you think you’re cool now that a girl chatted you up. Well done. Stay in L.A, don’t ever leave.” However, it was told for a purpose, to highlight two facts. One, I need to get out of the house more while I am in San Francisco. And two, if that girl was attached to a celebrity name, the story would be transformed into something else. She would not even have to be a good looking celebrity. Or a successful one. Or even for it to be a girl! If I was to say the girl was Rosie O’ Donnell, or Ellen DeGeneres telling me we had similar haircuts, and it happened in L.A, in Hollywood, the whole story would be seen in a new light.
People would now be reading it, probably, saying to themselves, depending where they were reading it “Jaysus/Oh my Gawd, he has some life in L.A, off being chatted up by Rosie or Ellen in L.A, some life”. It is a bit odd. Instead, it is just some random girl, whose name I can’t remember.
There was another, underhanded, sly reason for that story too. Hopefully, and I am positive of this too, there has to be someone who read as far as here, and is now saying to themselves “What a f**king idiot, why did I just waste my time reading this crap when I could’ve been on Facebook”. If you are that person, if you are, then get in touch. I need your opinion on the episode I have almost finished.
Two songs today. The first is a pretty cool video, all done in one take, by a dude who is talented as funk by the looks of it. B*****d. Impressive hula hooping too.
In Step by Frankmusik
Second is by another highly talented dude, good title too. Plus, my gym buddy has a cameo! I love L.A! And celebrity stories! Wuu!
I Poke Her Face by Kid Cudi (Feat Kanye West, Common, Lady Ga-Ga and A-Trak)
After my stupidly cocky sentence yesterday – along the lines of me flying with the writing, should be finished today, I am so productive, I managed to do a third of it in the last few hours, I am brilliant – the inevitable, was inevitably, going to happen. I accomplished bob all today. Well, compared to yesterday at least. I managed to get one scene good to go in the final act. And re-wrote a few other scenes which I had finished previously. Again.
However, I shall not complain about the decrease in progress today. The reason, which I now try to stick to as much as I can, is that nobody enjoys other people complaining. Its just tiring. Unless it is a short, brief, humorous complaint. However, if it occurs over and over, you just don’t want to be around that person. Or read that blog. They get cut.
For example, I think I could easily complain to Red Bull, if I was so inclined. While chugging back my regular can of Bull just before the gym earlier, I noticed something peculiar. I don’t drink it for pleasure, just for the buzz it gives me, so I’m not one to savour the taste. Opened the can, opened my mouth, and gulped back a big mouthful, maybe half the can. As I swallowed, all in one swoop, I noticed there was something solid going down with the liquid, and before you could say “Gulp”, it was all down the hatch. No clue what it was, in the slightest. I almost hope it was a rat’s toe, or a mouse’s finger. As long as it doesn’t kill me, it will just make the story better, so I can’t really complain. If I do ever get to find out. I shall be inspecting, ahem.
This change in complaint attitude, comes from living in L.A. Polar opposite to Cork. It is the most optimistic place you will ever be, ridiculously so. I imagine the suicide rate is quite high though. I never said it was genuine optimism, but still, fake of that, is far better than real pessimism. Another thing about L.A, in a similar fashion, is that people there will genuinely go out of their way to help you. More so than usual. The amount of invaluable help that I’ve gotten for free is unreal… acting classes, writing advice are the top two I can think of. However, I’ve also never been anywhere where people will try to con you so much, or at least try to make some money out of you, by luring you in with false hope of real help.
The key to getting the right balance, is to know when to pull out. Thats what she said. Apologies. Honestly though, if you can spot that a seeming potential offer of help, is actually going to be spoof or extremely costly, just reverse the roles, and let on that you are interested, but what are the perks going to be. Could you show me a free example perhaps. Just make sure to cut the chord, usually right before either your pants, or their’s, are asked to be taken off.
This happened to me today. The “Hey, long time no speak, how’s it all going, how can I help” spiel. A writing course, which I was sussing out, months back, built themselves up as the only way in to Hollywood. If you don’t learn how to write with us, then there’s no point in you even trying. That kind of thing. They had me worried.
After I had initially contacted them, and given my back story, they replied with the usual stuff, listing out every successful person who has been through their door, or walked by it. There is only one possible way that I could be as successful as them, and that is by doing this course they provided. And then that course. We are here to help, especially in this tough economic time. We are here to help you. Not to make a profit. Just to help. We are almost a charity. All this crap.
I say with full confidence that it is pure and utter crap, after I recieved his 6th email. The first 5 lengthy emails were about how he was purely here to help me, he now thought of me as a friend, I shouldn’t hamper my immense potential anymore, let him help me to unleash it, and so on. The 6th was dashed with words of encouragement, hiding the price list at the very end. Here she blows…
Online Professional Membership Fee and Payment Options:
For 4 Project Cycles (check one)
$4,995 payable upon registration or
$2595 initial payment followed by 18 consecutive monthly payments of $150 or
$1895 initial payment followed by 20 consecutive monthly payments of $175 or
$1095 initial payment followed by 22 consecutive monthly payments of $200
So, I emailed back, oh very interested, especially at such a competitive rate, I think I will sign up. Just a few more questions… what kind of stuff could you do for t.v, in particular sitcoms? Which route should someone writing a sitcom take next? What pointers could you give me exactly? I knew this was going to be my last email, so might as well try for free advice.
Doesn’t seem like much, but I managed to get one Word document of “Basic Notes On Television Writing”. Handy when you are lacking the basics, like myself, although I was familiar with a few. I just didn’t heed them too well when I was first told them first time around…
Writers Boot Camp
Basic Notes on Television Writing
1. A spec script is one that is written on “speculation” (without pay). In the world of TV staffing, a spec script is one that emulates an episode of a particular series.
2. Writers breaking into television generally do so by writing spec scripts.
3. Writing spec scripts is really a process of proving to a potential employer, a showrunner, that you have the acumen and talent to work for them.
4. The three traits of a spec script worthy of submission are:
a) Amazing storyline ideas never done before on the series;
b) Nailing the character voices, expectations and series conceits;
c) Out loud funny, if comedy; provocative, if drama.
5. While there are exceptions to rules by exceptional people, it’s still not recommended to new writers to write original pilots–except as an exercise.
6. Of course, it’s positive to write anything, but most writers who haven’t written spec scripts will fail the challenge of breaking down their own show, and most writers without staff experience will not have the opportunity to run their own show.
7. A stunt spec is one that might resurrect a series from the past, or combine two series. They are difficult to pull off, but certainly worth doing as an exercise.
8. In addition to having a good personality, it usually takes at least two GREAT spec scripts, and often a third piece of original material, for an agent to champion you as someone to represent.
9. The challenge is that it may take writing many scripts for any to be great.
10. Decide whether you are a comedic or dramatic writer. Choose your projects accordingly.
11. Choose spec scripts for shows that will be on the air for a couple of years.
12. Choose spec scripts that are established–so that readers are familiar with the show–yet that are not such evergreens that it would be difficult to create unique storylines.
13. It’s generally a good idea to write one of the top five shows in your chosen genre.
14. Dramedy is not a very effective word, description or genre, so don’t use it.
15. While the distinctions of writing for television are important, television and feature are more similar than they are different.
16. The main difference between writing for television and features is that each series has its own established conceits and structural parameters, which supersede standard expectations.
17. When writing a spec script, you would write a Unity Page for the series AND for each storyline in the episode.
18. The 3-6-3 is optional for television writing due to the fact that there are less scenes per script in comparison to a feature, and there are multiple storylines further reducing the challenging of managing structure.
19. All basic series television formats fall within the guidelines of Main Character-Driven, Four Segment Story Structure.
20. When writing a spec, you should study the episodes and storylines of the existing series to understand its requirements.
21. Too few writers investigate the history and workings of a series enough to bring fresh ideas that reach beyond the typical storylines tried by all of the writers around town.
22. Your Conceits for spec scripts will naturally be Story Conceits due to the need to honor the existing Character Conceits, if any, of the show you’re emulating.
23. Unless a personal friend, your goal would rarely be to submit your spec to someone working on that show due to the unlikely event that you will intuit their inside knowledge and show arcs, as well as the studio’s need to protect themselves legally.
24. When major story changes occur on the series, like Ross and Rachel breaking up again, then your specs need to be updated.
25. Even most experienced writers find they must write new material to be considered by the industry in a different genre, or if they come off a show that has ended.
26. 1-Hour Drama scripts are usually 45-60 pages, formatted as a feature, meaning that scene direction and dialogue are single-spaced.
27. 1/2-Hour, Single-Camera Film is roughly 23-35 pages, formatted as a feature, single-spaced as well.
28. 1/2-Hour, Multi-Camera (Sitcom) is roughly 45-60 pages, with double-spaced dialogue and character names and very spare scene direction.
29. When writing spec scripts, we recommend that you study the scripts of produced episodes to identify the traits of the page. While not every industry pro will know exactly how each series script looks, it will help you match Scene Work to what’s on screen.
30. When attempting a pilot script, it’s important to understand that it is expected to be a template for perhaps 100 episodes.
31. A pilot script should be seen as an establishing script as opposed to an introductory episode. Of course, certain introductions will necessarily be included.
32. Voiceover, in any writing form, can be helpful to inform the audience and create a rooting interest for a character. But it’s best to make that choice based on concept and tone rather than as a crutch.
33. The writer of an original pilot should ask how their show is expressing what no other show has ever done.
34. Revenues from television have traditionally subsidized ventures into film production and helped the agency business survive.
35. TV is where most of the writing work is in the entertainment industry.
Firstly, funk number 5! And finally, now that I actually re-read them all again, there are some savage pointers which I can use. After all the other spoof emails I had to wade through, all in all, I can have no complaints.
This turned into way more writing than I had planned to do, probably the longest blogaruu yet, strange with the day being so uneventful. Anyways, song on…
Firstly, if anyone is interested to know, I managed to get the second act of my episode on paper today. The whole thing, outline, dialogue, actions etc. In one day. It has taken me over a week to get the first act out of the way. I am confident I can get the third and final act started, and finished, by tomorrow. Pretty amazing what an actual, set deadline can do to get me into gear. Happy enough. I also have plans formulated for what to do, once I go back to L.A on Sunday. Plan A, B, and even, if needed, a C. Although one of them might include me just boozing and blowing all my remaining money as quickly as I can. But thats only if Plan A doesn’t work. Obviously.
Secondly, there is a big huge tree right outside the front steps of the cabin in the mountains (apartment in San Francisco) where I am staying at the moment. Every time I leave the house, I almost walk into that tree, or at least trip over one of it’s big, protruding roots. I left the house a couple of times today, strangely. And did not notice that the tree was gone. Fully. Roots and all. It had to be pointed out to me. Made me realize, I do not really notice big things.
However, earlier today, I was also going through notebooks of notes which I have taken recently. This led me to see, that I notice very small and insignificant things. Such as: if I think that someone, who is younger than me, is trying to say something profound, I will immediately stop listening and zone out. The same goes if someone, who, again, is younger than me, is attempting to give me advice. I will nod along, and pretend to mull it over, but inevitably I will not heed it, instead simply brush it away. Unless, of course, it is profound. Ha, stupid logic, but something that occurred to me today.
And finally, I also figured out that I love to recommend songs to people. Over and over, I will attempt to get people to listen to this song, or listen to that song, seeing as I think it is savage/funreal, surely they will too. If the person dismisses it, or does not enthusiastically give it a thumbs up, I will take it personally for a moment or two.On the other hand, if someone recommends a song to me, without me asking, I will simply pretend to listen to it. Max, I will give it 20 seconds. And probably not like it. Until a few weeks later, when I stumble upon it by my own accord, and listen to it fully. Then, and only then, more often than not, I will finally admit “Should’ve listen to Z about this one, pretty funking savage/funreal”. Again, pretty illogical.
My head is goosed from writing all day, so I will keep this blogaruu short and shour. Finishing with this question… does anyone know anything about ringtone, copyrights, obtaining them, using them, etc? Not ones that are actual songs made into ringtones. More the crap generic ones of most phones. Just out of curiosity.
Song of the day, which is actually not really savage, just very good, in a chilled way, is…
Strangely, the following two incidents occurred within minutes of each other earlier today. Firstly, I made a cup of coffee, but boiled the kettle without checking. Lo and behold, there was exactly half a cup’s worth of water for coffee. An exact half cup. I looked at the cup for a few minutes. Wondering about the irony. The meaning. A good few minutes. Just staring at the cup. Trying to decide if it was half full. Or half empty. Until I put in some milk, and it was well over half full.
Minutes later I was on Spacebook, chatting with a buddy, who reminded me that it was the June weekend. Which, in turn, reminded me how long I have left on my current visa. When I remarked this to my buddy, thinking to myself how time is ticking, crunch time, my head getting a bit dizzy at the thought of it, his immediate response was “Plenty of time, head down, write on”. Even though my coffee was almost finished, the cup was still half full!!!
Was it fate that these two incidents happened within a few minutes of each other, as to highlight the importance? Perhaps. Do these two incidents have any correlation or meaning, whatsoever? Highly doubtful. Am I just connecting two stupid events and making one longer story of them? Definitely. However, it did kick me into gear a bit. I am heading back to L.A on Sunday, must make a few moves before the visa runs it course. Initially I had planned on being back well before now, but the sitcom is taking longer than I anticipated (I think my self diagnosis of OCD is making me re-write every line so that it is absolutely perfect). Almost there though, good to have a deadline as well.
Another reason why I chose Sunday, is that I am DJ’ing in San Fran on Saturday night. One might say, I am being flown all over the West coast these days to play gigs. But one would be lying. Still though, any bobs are highly appreciated in this day and age. Gig on! My reputation must be growing, I was head hunted for the gig. Word must travel quite quickly up from L.A. Absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my cousin’s fiance works at the venue. Definitely was asked from word of mouth and reputation alone. Anyone up in Frisco reading this, come along. Its down on Castro, dress code is chaps only.
A word for any writer without a clue like myself, or anyone who might be interested. I mentioned before that I have a great guru in L.A, who supplies me with invaluable information about the business, as they call it, the ins & outs, of which I am ridiculously clueless about. Anyways, usually if I call him, or he rings me to see how I am progressing, he laughs a bit at the start of the conversation (I do like to laden my conversations with jokes towards the start, make a good impression and all). However, he’s not laughing with me, purely and directly at me. At how clueless I am. Which, in turn, freaks me out. Oh good God, what have I done now, can the situation be rectified.
There were a few reasons why the laughter was forthcoming this time. I mentioned a few posts back, that I had a marketing company lined up in L.A, who offered to help with my viral campaign for the scenes which I intend on making. I have typed that sentence before, so it should really have clicked with me, that a few glaring potholes were in place. But it didn’t. Not even close. I was just giddy that the offer was given to me, it had made me feel productive in some way. When I declared this, proud as punch of my achievement, I was simply told “You have well and truly put the cart in front of the horse. In your typical Irish way. If nothing else, you were entertaining me with your irregular (i.e clueless) approach to getting the sitcom made”. Go on, I’m listening.
Question 1: “What was it exactly that you are going to do a viral marketing campaign for?”
The sitcom. “What sitcom?” My one. The one I am writing. “Oh right, your script?” But I’ll get a scene or two made as well. That is what the viral campaign will be about – show people a scene or two. Get people interested. “And then, show them two scenes, and thats it? The buzz just dies off?” Eh, haven’t really thought that far ahead. “You need about 40 scenes (exaggerating). You need to make the best scene from the episode you write. Then make the second best, and so on. Until, if needs be, you have made your own episode. Then you have something to show people. To keep them interested. And wanting more” Oh right. Didn’t really get that part. I just liked the word viral and the thought of having a campaign for something I was doing.
Question 2: “How much info about the sitcom, name, episode, premise etc have you told people about? Particularly in L.A?”
In L.A, just one, my buddy who runs the marketing company. I just emailed him a few lines about the premise though. And the name. I can email it to you as well now, sound good?!!! Wuu. Actually, I told two people in Ireland too, I think, and… At this stage, I started to think I was going to be laughed at. The green naive trusting fool. No. Worse… I was calmly spoken to, in a serious tone… “Don’t trust anyone, particularly in L.A, especially in L.A. Including me. Friendship is friendship, but business is business. Put everything in writing. Everyday in L.A, ideas are being taken, stolen, overheard in restaurants and used. People who had a bit of luck with one project, but are now struggling to find their next big thing, are always on the prowl to take your idea and cut you out. It has happened to me” Oh Jesus. “Hang up the phone. Do not email or tell me anything. Go to the Writer’s Guild website, and register absolutely everything. The name, the pitch, your material, the episode you are writing, everything. Then, call me back and tell me if you like”
Oh Jesus. Beads of sweat were pouring at this stage. Straight onto their website, copy and pasted everything into one Word document, and registered it all. Mastercard, you pulled it out of somewhere, good work. Might not be much, but at least it is now legal tender. Rang my informer back. He told me to get writing, get working, get it done and start getting it to the right people. It was a brief call back. A mighty phone call in general though. I felt I should pass on the advice!!!
As a side note, I now know the word count for all the blog so far. So I decided to check the average length of a novel. And… I have well over a book written. Amazing. I can write in quantity at least. This, along with the fact that I can now read minds. How do I know? Well, when I say I think we might have a Christmas best seller on our hands – a book based on the blog – I know already what you’re thinking. Simply re-read today’s title.
I am in a chilled enough mood, and tired, so one apt song, and another in a different vein…
This might bring you close to tears, you have been warned! Vaka by Sigur Ros
Enough Talk, More Writing! 