What Is The Pint Of The Isle?

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The Best Day – Atmosphere

(Forgot aboot this blogaruu. A week old but better up than in… )

Speaking of teachers, does anyone remember my science teacher from 4th year? Sound man. Bald head. Round glasses. Slightly Larry David looking. Just not as big a nose. Mr. O’Connor? Doesn’t sound right but pretend so. Anyways, his lessons often used to get lost in translation. Mostly down to his accent. Slightly country-ish. Farmer like. But only on certain words. Out of all the sciences he had a thing for chemistry. Big fan. Always up the top of the class, on his own, experimenting away. Giving you plenty of time to stare out the window. And wonder if you were going bald (I had this weird thing in 4th year where I was convinced I was going bald. Used to have conversations with my biology teacher about it. Me arguing for. Him against. Maybe that is why I let the fro flow. And now have a hedge on my head). Back to Mr. O’Connor. Doing experiments. Liked to spring questions, see if you were following. Every single time, his odd way of saying words would throw me off. So every single time, I would have to tell him… Sir, I have no clue what a pint of isle is? Getting him annoyed. Thinking I was mocking him. Ending in detention. See. He was actually asking what the point of the oil was in the experiment. But seeing as I liked to drift off, I never copped on quickly enough as to what his point ever was. Kind of like you are perhaps wondering now what mine could possibly be. Obviously… Chilean miners! Seriously… Continue Reading »

Ponderful!

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As your keen eye may or may not have noticed, multiple media mediums are currently being experimented with. Practicing. Tweaking. Whuring. Trials. Along with buckets of errors. Trial on! So seeing as I am horsing out the multitudes of gibber, might as well throw a new vlogaruu into the mix. Wuu huu! Blog. Vlog. Pod-g. Next stop… Fog!?! Hilarious. Shh. Ponderful on…

Great news. Blogaruu is back in the writing chair tomorrow. Yay! says… ? Duu.

Hearing Haze!

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Like all good teachers, Sex Boy Dave reminded me of a valuable lesson on Wednesday… People love free stuff! Sexy Boy Dave being a comedian at stand-up the other night. Obviously. Self-claimed self-made millionaire. Selling sex toys online. Unfortunately for Sex Boy Dave, everything I have wrote so far is at least thrice as funny as his brutally cocky act. Brutal. Still though, in fairness to him, he did remind me that people are big fans of free. But while Sex Boy Dave finally managed to get himself a few cheers by handing out various sex toys from his website at the end of his act, my free gift is more aural pleasure for your ears. Tut. My bad. New member to the online media familia… Blogaruu… Vlogaruu… And now… Podaruu! Free chapters from my book. In the shape of podcasts! Aural on! Name of the podcast shall be ‘Hearing Haze… Not just a phase!’ Now you can download and listen to my gibber on the go. iPods on. Mighty. Wuu huu! Sex Boy Dave… Nada on my gift!  So without any further a duu, my first attempt. Tad rough. Rambling. But a mighty little beast!!! Perk up an ear. Listen on… Continue Reading »

Oh Sweet Jesus… Why Am I Singing?!

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Just Walkin’ In The Rain – The Prisonaires

On the upside… I think I’m in love! Funk me pink… I am! I’m in love. Monday truly was a mighty day! On the downside… Currently waging a war against an army of ailments. Pretty sure I might be allergic to the flu. Keep sneezing when I’m around my sick roommate. Unwittingly flew back from San Fran straight into a flu-den. Tut. Dose. Can’t remember the last time I was sick. Besides mentally, says you. And hungoverly, say I. (Actually I do know exactly when. First week of January 2009. The week before I moved to L-Hey. Left my ailments in Ireland!). Not happy. Very stuffy. All that gibber. However. No time to be ill. Which is why it shall be positive on. All that gibber. Sick?! Tut. Nay! I’m in love! Positive on! Me shall see. So back to me falling in love… Continue Reading »

Ehh. We Need To Walk…

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Laziness truly is the root of all evil. No doubt this has been gibbered out before. Along with logic, I think. Being a procrastinating ape. Issues with my gibber. Plenty more. All obvious flaws. Back to laziness. Me being it. September last year. 7 blogaruus were churned out by this date. This year, half that. Limp half. Shocking, I know. Oh no, less blogs, how does the world still spin, you ape… says you. OH MY GOD, I ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW, IT’S FREAKING ME OUT!… says I. Oh Jesus. Tonight I realised one reason why this has been happening. Lately, less time has been spent alone, doing nothing, not thinking about stuff. Meaning less time for loose strings of gibber to piece themselves together, out of the sea of muddle in my head. Ideas no longer loosely mapped out before I sit down to write. Meaning spending time stringing gibber and less time writing. As I then see that it’s 4 in the morning. Laziness. Tiredness. Both kick me in the head. Sleep is on. Blog off. Tut tut. King Tut. And I’m then dumbly annoyed at myself the next day. Circle of dumbness. Two things I’m doing far less: Showering. And. Walking. Continue Reading »

Drowning Clowns And Gay Bears

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Three things you may or may not know: Clowns run comedy stores. Gay bears are actually a good laugh. And. Not all jokes are funny. Last one might be a bit too obvious. What else have I discovered in the last 24 hours that you might not know… A bottle of Absolut vodka costs $15 in the shop down the road. Whereas one shot of vodka costs $11 in a bar down the road from me. Amazing. Mango vodka may also be the way of the future, by the by. Pretty tasty. Any other gibber. Yes… Before I go to sleep, I try to just lie there and smile for a while. Like a freak. Not sure why. Read somewhere before that it’s good for you. Somehow. Not sure why I told you that either. But you can quote me word for word on that fact and reason if you like. Finally. Hitting yourself in the head with a weight at the gym is not fun. It hurts. As in you will make cat raping noises. Again. Amazing. I know. Alright. Enough from my gibber dish. Serious time. Back to drowning clowns… Continue Reading »