My McRib

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All Night Long – Lionel Richie

It’ll be all white on the night! Ha ha, should be good all right. We’ll be dancing all night long (all night), all night long (all night)! One of the downsides of booking me to DJ a big White Party is that those phrases will keep popping out of my mouth leading up to it. Pop on.

So it’s Labor Day. End of the summer. Bank holiday weekend. Sunday night. Big party. And I’m DJigging classic Irish folklore songs. Put on my finest whitest rags. Pack up my equipment. Stroll up the ridiculously steep street I live on. And I’m at the SkyBar. Ready to go. I kind of got ready really quickly just before I was meant to be there so didn’t cop on that I was in all white. Looking very tampon like. Not my normal attire. Enter through the velvet rope. Meet the manager. Asks me if I’m pumped. I pretend I am. Informs me it’s going to be a huge party. One of their big three. Halloween. Christmas. White Party. Oh right. So it’s going to be a big one? Oh right. Dance on!

Early start. Nine bells. Not expecting it to be busy. Poolside looking very dapper dressed in white. White flowers floating in the pool. Savage view of all of L.A sparkling over the side. All very decadent. Top bar is looking cool. Staff all in white too. Looking sharp. Or glamorous. Depending on their chromosomes.

Set up. Plug in. Good to go. Just keep it chilled for the first two hours I’d say. Parties are notorious for getting going late here. Start late. End early. The two o’clock cut-off time is still one of L.A’s worst flaws. Anyway… And a one and a two and away we go! Music. On.

Two songs in, Continue Reading »

My Bleak Week.

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July – Mundy

Bleak. Reek. Eek. What a week. Funk me, eh, peek.

So I’m out Sunday night doing stand-up in a placed called Flappers out in Burbank. Sound people in charge. No apeness. No ridiculousness going on back stage. All good. First time doing a gay centric show. Didn’t realise it was one until it began. The name – Beyond The Rainbow – should’ve given it away. I thought they were having an Irish/leprechaun/pot of gold kind of night. Nay. Gay. Good old hoot. Gay folk know how to Continue Reading »

The Wizard Of Oz!

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Down Under – Men At Work

Mighty weekend. Sold a pair of signed Pants Off… RanDumber On! underwear Merkandise for $70. (The standard has been set!. Shop on!) And some fine folk sent me a scan of this RanDumber review. First one in an Australian newspaper that I know of. Going down under! All the way down under town. Where women glow and men plunder. Plus. Always good to dominate the Kerry. Duu! (Ozzy. Oz. Get it? Ahh hush! Review ends at old. OK. Good duck!) Continue Reading »

Obeasts!

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Learning To Fly – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Close my eyes. Time to sleep through this flight. Eyes shut for a minute. Mambo  number five in the aisle bounces off my head. Wakes me up. See something white on my pants as I open my eyes. Oh God. What was I dreaming about? No, this is a small thing. Pick it up. A mint. More to the point, a wet mint. By the looks of it, just fell out of someone’s mouth and onto my lap. Nelly to my right sneezes again. Plane hits a pocket of turbulence. Mambo bounces off me again. See now that it is her ass hitting off me. Feels slightly moist as it bounces off the side of my face. Wet, like the mint. Maybe sweat? Who knows, who cares?

And so began my wonderful flight home to Ireland. For some reason I am unsure of now, I did not Continue Reading »

This Is A Trailer… HAHAHAHAHAHAW

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RanDumber Hardback: Oooh yeaah!
RanDumber US: Buy It!
RanDumber UK: Go Here!
RanDumb US: Click!
RanDumb UK: Giddy Up!

Closing Credits – Mason Daring

BAAAaack In The US-Wahey, I Am…

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Born In The USA – Bruce Springsteen

Back in LA-wahey wuu huu! Mighty quick trip back to Ireland. Nice if it was longer but what can you duu? I came. I kissed. I conquered. Castles. Stones. Mead. The whole shebang. Weddings. Whistles. Wallops. Some hoot. Even had the odd owl. Speeches. Stand-up. Sheep. Good bit to catch up on in the old blogaruu. Need a day or two to let it percolate in my brain. Until then, how about an article I wrote for a Sunday newspaper this week. Life of a Chancer. Read. On. Continue Reading »