Hermit The Hog


Flutes – Hot Chip

Wake up.

Slide out of bed.

Onto my knees.


Stand up.

And I’m ready.

Time to dominate the day!


Bathroom. Teeth. Brush. Face. Wash.

Kitchen. Breakfast. Porridge. Protein. Fruit.

Email. Gibber. Sports. Twitter. Spacebook. Email.

Coffee. Water. Water. Coffee.

OK. Now: Ready to dominate!

Kind of.

Go back to my desk.

Sit down.

Open laptop.



Magazine piece.

Stand up.








One of those.

Well. Plan on writing one of those.

First. Lunch.

Turkey. Ham. Sandwich.

Coffee. Water. Coffee.

Look out the window.

Sun splitting. Roa stinging.

Back. Desk. Write.

Actually write.

Loathe myself over what I just wrote.


Feel better.


Mock myself again.


All right. Now we’re dancing. Time for dinner.

Chicken. Salmon. Potatoes.

Chill. Read. Watch. Seinfeld.

Sandwich. Shake.



Write this blog.

Watch the Olympics.


Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

More or less my past week. Barely left the house. Hermit. Doing the same thing over. Hog. Stir a bit of the crazy. But. Needs to be done. Unfortunately I have work to do before I can get back to pure fun. Work – What a whure!  Although once these things get written, outlined, approved, and so on, far more exciting stuff can start popping off! Like a hare in heat, waiting to explode. Booze has been off. Fun has quite clearly been off. Yesterday I was actually glad to go to the DMV, just as an excuse to leave the house. It’s been that bad!! Hermit the Hog has been full on. Just in case you were wondering why the blogaruu has been a tad bare. Getting far more long distance calls than usual. ‘Blog’s been quiet, what have you been up to?!’ Now you know! It’s really been amazing.

Although I have left my abode for some improv and stand-up shows. Improv in particular is going from good to better. Happy days. I am a fan. Should probably write a bit about that. But I’m too busy writing gibberish about Hermit the Hog. I made the wrong call. Apologies. To even dumb things out, someone keeps robbing my credi card details to buy guns and hunting gear with it. So that’s been tremendous too. Look, it’s been a quiet week. Here are a few jokes to fill the void…

What do you call an Irish guy whose name you can’t remember but you think his first name is Lee?
Li-am. #BaDum

What do you call a girl who has no L’s in her name? Noelle. #BaDum.

Can’t believe this guy is mocking what kind of animals are on my farm. Some sheep shot. #BaDum

On a serious note, I found out I have a long lost Chinese brother… Sib Ling. #BaDum

On a high note, RanDumb now has over 100 Amazon reviews. Yee huu! 93 out of 100 cats prefer it to any other book in the world! So that’s mighty. As is the video below. Must watch. And I must bounce. Ms. Jiggy is at the door… Get it?! Ah come on, no need for the abuse. Hermie off. Write on!

4 thoughts on “Hermit The Hog

  1. Nice timing, now I allow myself to feel better for not going out that much. Reading/Writing mood. Better @ reading but I will get the other too, eventually =P .Some studying too.Not in the mood though, not today. So what is it ? Screenplay? Short/feature/tv?

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