Decisions, Revelations & Confrontations

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Towards the end of last week, I had been running aimlessly around my head, like a headless chicken. It seems I like to have the storm well before the calm, letting stupid thoughts race senselessly through my head, and end up physically not doing too much, but mentally exhausting myself. And probably still not end up coming to a satisfactory conclusion to whatever conundrum was bothering me. It really is an excellent system I have put together for myself.

My conundrum was related to issues such as rent, what will I do with being so broke, visa issues, what will I do next on my quest, am I really doing enough to get where I want to be, where is it I actually do want to be, and so on and so forth. So I did what I usually do – ask everybody and anybody, who will listen long enough, for their advice, putting off making a decision as long as possible. I like to fool myself by thinking that if I ask everyone for their opinion, it is somehow a way of me being productive? With that in mind, I managed to get about an evenly matched amount of exactly opposite and differing advice. Again, an excellent system I have come up with.

Thankfully, I put the decision making process to the back of my mind and ended up having a great weekend. A few revelations were also, eh, revealed to me over the weekend. Such as, when talking to a girl in a bar, and her friend blatantly does not like you and wants you to leave, bringing up herpes, does not really help your cause “Look, I’m sorry, but for you, I’m like a case of herpes. No matter how much you try to get rid of me, I will keep on coming back.” It got a laugh, at least. Off me, in my head. Did not go down to well with the girl’s friend. Led me to believe she may have herpes, ha, only possible conclusion really for her not laughing.

Another revelation confirmed to me was that I start a new DJ job on Thursday, wuu huu, looks like it will be a paying one too, happy days. Not really the gym mix I am used to, however, it should be an easy remedy. My buddy suggested playing the originals of the remixes I play, and, it fits the bill to a tee, 4 hours is long but the healthy bar tab they are throwing in on top of the offer should help me pass away the time.

My mentor/writer friend also revealed a challenge he had for me. Not only should I go to San Francisco for a week or however long and write my sitcom pilot, I should also develop one 3-5 minute scene which would showcase the pilot. With this, I could come back to L.A, and try to use my connections with people I have met, i.e homeless guys and gay gym buddies, to try and get that one scene made. Then, not only would I have a pilot script in my hand for people to read, I would also have a scene for them to watch. Throw that scene up online, hopefully get feedback off people, with even more hope it might be good feedback, and I could have the ball rolling towards the sitcom. Some funking revelation or plan or whatever you want to call it!

Changing the pace, style and tone of the revelations, another was the fact that my buddy in the club at the top of my street, has not cut me loose on his friend’s list. This was found out last night while getting out of the taxi by my house with two buddies. To celebrate this, Jim suggested we should go inside, again, it took a lot to twist our arms. I decided to hold back on the priest line this time around, instead opting for… Oh, in Ireland, the guys dance for the strippers, so if you like, I’ll dance for you. Oddly, I was taken up on the offer a few times. And, even more oddly, I realized it is a great way to make strippers jealous, ha. “No, he is going to dance for me”… “Get away, he is dancing for me now, back off b**ch”. I stumbled onto something strange, where I ended up having two girls trying to drag me off in different directions, to dance for them? If only I could actually dance, ah, deary me (although in some circles, I am a mighty dancer!).

This weekend I have also being having an on-going confrontation with my toilet. A few more randomers than usually have been using it due to a couple of shindigs going on in my house. Today, it started to growl and gargle at me, like a gargoyle (? brutal, I know). Slowly but surely, it started to rise up like a phoenix, clamoring its way to the surface. Me, being at times a bit too smart it turns dumb, decided to just ignore it, the problem would fix itself. Finally, after I flushed the toilet in hope that that might fix it, then deciding maybe one more flush was all it needed, the toilet won our game of chicken and celebrated in unbridled joy, spilling out over the edges. My weekend was capped off wonderfully with one last dance involving a bin bag, my toilet and I, great fun had by all, knee deep and elbow deep in fun really.

Actually, no, that was not how my weekend finished. It actually ended with one last revelation. That being, when the girl who offered me the DJ’ing job in the bar texted me asking if I wanted to come down to the bar for a few free boozes, it may not be the best idea to have replied with the truth. Which was me telling her I couldn’t, I was too busy doing a dance with my toilet. And how I was up to my elbow in, eh, fun. Which obviously got lost in translation, and which I am still in the process of explaining to her exactly what I meant. And how it was not meant in an insulting way. And yes, I still do want to DJ on Thursday. All misunderstood from my honest text? What a load of… fun!

Three songs of the weekend that kind of sum up my weekend, yet, in another light, don’t really sum it up at all, ha… Get On Your Boots (Justice Remix) by U2

Number 2… Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor by Flight of The Conchords (I couldn’t find the remix I have but anyways)

And finally, the third song of the weekend… After Laughter Comes Tears by Lykke Li ft El Perro Del Mar

Thats What She Said…

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Fruitless is how I would describe today. Absolutely fruitless. Although, probably my most productive activity ended up being buying apples. Plus I got a cool new t-shirt indirectly given to me by Bill Clinton. Very, very, very indirectly.

My three main things to do today were: 1. Go up to the strip club at the top of the street and enquire about the potential DJ job that Jim told me about; 2. Call over to the Irish Film Board, which is across the road from the strip club conveniently, and try to get a bit of help and guidance from a contact in there, and; 3. Buy some turkey slices. That was it. 3 basic enough things to do. How hard could they be? Surely I would achieve one of them, my money was definitely on one of the first two, definitely one of them.

1. Up to the strip club and go inside. I get a flood of flashbacks now that I am back inside, oh yeah I remember that seat, I remember those ATM machines by the wall, balls, did I take money out? No, doubt it, hopefully not. I remembered a girl in there too, sitting at a table, and, surprisingly, she remembered me, I must’ve made a good impression (more than likely made an ape of myself completely but I’ll tell myself a good impression for the sake of it). She brings me over to Charlie, the manager/owner, not too sure. He doesn’t seem too impressed by me, or care what I have to say really, doesn’t bother to get up, or say hello, who needs introductions anyways, straight to the point “What do you want?” Eh, Jim told me to call in during the day, said something about a DJ job perhaps? Charlie is old, and I can see all over his face that he has not understood any of what I had just said, I was trying to be as clear as I could too.

Maybe if I speak slower, and louder, he’ll understand. I do, he doesn’t. Tells me Jim starts at 6, call back then. This is going nowhere fast. A girl calls his name from across the room, and he shouts back at her “Did you finish up yet?” I wasn’t too sure what he was on about, but the next bit of banter I blame as a result of me watching too much of the Office and my roommate for being good at these jokes and getting me hooked. Anyways, the girl shouts back across the room ” I can’t Charlie, it’s too hard.” To which I instinctively say to Charlie, thats what she said, ha. Probably not the best thing to try the humour with Charlie seeing as it was going so poorly anyways. It didn’t really matter though, he couldn’t understand me anyways.

Oh but he understood that line, “What’s that meant to mean?” Eh, you know, ha, it was a joke, thats what she said, as in… “Yeah, she did say that, but what are you trying to say?” Oh sweet Lord, I have the job in the bag, best interview ever. “What do you want anyways? You’re looking for Jim?’ No, about a DJ job, Jim said… “We’re not hiring” And that was that. End of. See ya later Charlie.

2. Walked across the road. Starting to notice how there are a lot of film production companies based right across the road from me. As in a building or two full of them. Where was the neon sign that should’ve alerted me to this place before?!!! Found the Irish Film Board, happy days. I had decided not to email them first, I would just call up. It would be quicker and easier to get help in person, or for them to ignore me through emails, plus I am more likeable in person, or so I have been told, personally I have my doubts. Find the buzzer, get buzzed in, walk to the office, find out that the guy I was told to look for has left already for the weekend and I should’ve emailed ahead first to set up a time. Ah, good old emails, always a smart thing to do. I didn’t mind too much though, at least I hadn’t traipsed around the city for hours to find that out. 

3. Bad sign when buying turkey to make a sandwich for yourself is the best you can do all day, but I was determined to do at least one thing on the to-do list. As I was walking to Trader Joes, I saw The Laugh Factory across the road. I’ll save my day by going in and playing the Irish priest card, and try to get a slot for their open mic session next week. Wuu, finally a good plan. Cross the road, push into the door to open her up, door is shut, so I just walk into the door. The idiot clown walking into The Laugh Factory. I bumble back across the road, I’ll stick to the plan of turkey and home. Or so I thought. Ever hear of a meat rush on Friday afternoon? No? Me neither. But apparently they have them here, and they were out of turkey slices. Ha, how, why, I didn’t have the energy, why bother, I gave up. I ended up buying good turkey substitutes of apples and potatoes instead, not before knocking two piles of them on the floor, taking both from the bottom of the highly stacked piles. Surely they can come up with a better way to arrange them instead of towering piles which I will inevitably knock over.

Three things to do. Zero of them accomplished. Wuu, fruitful on! Apparently, I think I have the timeline right, but as I walked home, there was also an earthquake. Oddly, it measured 4.4 on the Richter scale, the same as the one the shook me insides out in San Francisco. People were freaking out “It was super scary, I thought it was the big one, oh my Gawd” (Apparently a big one is due that will funk the whole place up). I couldn’t even do the earthquake right, I didn’t feel a bloody thing, gutted I missed out on all the fun.

All in all, I was not too pushed with the pointless day I had, tomorrow is the big one, potentially. Big meet and greet tomorrow afternoon (I think it’s big anyways), followed by a potentially big night, re de de, I’ll say no more. My day was brightened up by my roommate at least. She had been at a Bill Clinton fundraiser the night before, met the man himself, the likes of Zach Braff and Jessica Alba amongst others mingling too (I told you that her blog would be waaaaaaay better than mine if she did one). Bill had given her a t-shirt, she doesn’t wear XL men’s size, I don’t either but with the help of 3 t-shirts underneath I can pull XL off, so she gave me the t-shirt as a present. I made her tell me that Bill had personally asked her to give it to me, just so I could feel good about it. How sound is Bill?!!!

And, as I am sure you were wondering, so just in case you were, 2 of the 3 apples I bought were rotten to the core. I could not even do that right, wuu, tomorrow is the big one though, I’m saving myself for then, c’mon Hatton!!!!!

Song of the day is the first song I heard this morning, and final song I will play before I get my sleep on. It is ominous to say the least, but a savage song… How It Ends by Devotchka