It’s Like Living The Life, You Know, Unreal…

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Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen

So my younger sister Sarah has been in L.A for the past week. Finishing off her J1 summer. Final hurrah in L-Hey. Usually I dodge like a duck when people are in town. Tour guide duties are a full-time job. Single parent duties and all that. Plus, sometime people seem to demand to be entertained by LA. Not able to relax until they’ve spotted a celebrity. And then it’s not good enough for their celeb standards… Meh, I’ve seen better. Only Brad Pitt. It’d be different if we bumped into someone like Justin Bieber. Oh yeah, sorry about that. Or else folk go out of their way not to be impressed, no matter how impressive. Until they finally just give in and admit to enjoy it. However, being my wonderful sister and all, I said OK so, you can stay with me. Here’s a tent and a pillow, sleep down by the pool.

All jokes aside, it has been mighty having her here. Splendid breath of fresh air. First of all, she’s chilled. Duck to water. Secondly, she’s not too cool to enjoy things. No Daria complex. Thirdly, she loved every minute of it. Everything was unreal. Everything was eye-openingly amazing. Everything made it the best week of her life, like. All of which reminded me: LA. Is. Savage. Continue Reading »

Jewish, Single… Ready To Mingle?!

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50 Ways To Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon

Have you ever had to ask yourself: Am I anti-Semitic?

I have.

So tonight started off with myself and my buddy Chowder DJing at the London Hotel. Up on the rooftop. Pool party. Savage spot. You know the one, just featured in the last episode of Entourage where Turtle was having his business meeting. (On a side note, what has happened to that show? Or was it always dodge?!) Anyway, last pool party of the summer. Dance. On! Started off well. Setting up, this little orangey brown girl with big pikey style jewelry next to us kept shouting out song requests. Please pipe down, Snooki, give us a minute. (On another side note, have you ever seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? Just realised Snooki dresses like one of those brides. Good work all round). Pretty soon she was carted off by her minders, music gets going. Free booze for the first hour. Place is soon packed. Not a bad night’s work. Until we realise there’s something weird going on. Large group gathered next to us. Almost all women. All mingling about. All stopping and staring when walking past the DJ booth. Hmmm. Something’s up. Continue Reading »

Victim Hayes

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Lights And Music – Cut Copy

Not sure where newspapers get photos of me. An educated guess is that they pull them out of a bag of cats. Photos with both my eyes closed. One just after a soccer match, panting, sweating, looking with one wonky eye. The most recent one has me looking like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Remember, he was a blind, feeble old man? Well, just like that except I also look like I’m sitting in a wheelchair. Don’t get my wrong, delighted with newspapers picking up on my current ranking of being rated #1 on the Amazon Humour charts. Obviously. Just a pity they don’t ask for a photo. Anything at all. Potentially, I’m better looking than that. No, no: Seriously. In the right light. With the right make-up. And the right amount of airbrushing. I’m fairly sure I can scrub up better than that. I swear. Ah stop… Continue Reading »

#1

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You Can Call Me Al – Paul Simon

So this is pretty mighty…

You know what this means, right?

I now win a million dollars! Wuu huu!

Right?

Huh?

Ahem.

Dance on! Book two all the way!!!

Keeping The Dream Alive – Munchener Freiheit

Short Short Feature Length Short Filum!

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Always On The Run – Yuksek

Last night. Out for dinner. Cecconis. Savage. Banter flowing. Gibbering on about pinned on pony tails popping off or something. Waiter comes to take our order. Time for me to make two calls. First one, mighty: Octopus. Unreal. If ever you go, order the octopus. Betsy. Then, not so mighty: Ordered an espresso martini. DJing all day. Needed a kick. Oh, these are unreal. Have another one? One more? One for the road maybe? And so on. Filling me to the brim with caffeine. Keeping me buzzed all night. Lying in bed. No hope of sleeping. Staring at the ceiling. Goats? Tweaking. Espresso and martini racing through my body. Some. Hoot.

As a result, I got about four wonderfully horrendous hours of sleep. Leaving me depleted today. Walked some errands. Forgot to go to the gym. Ate some food. Non-existant day of writing. Dose. Tut. Need to do something. I know… Why not gibber out my new old idea? You know… Start shooting scenes and the likes once I finish writing this wonderful sequel which you are so eagerly awaiting! Ahem. Get back on the horse. Jump in. How bad could it be?! Ha. Well. Pretty bad, is the answer there I do believe. (Still trying to figure out my hand situation?) Productive day! Short Short Feature Length Short Filum all the way. Oscar. On!!!

Rum’N’ Cocaah Cola – Tim Tim

New Free Book Chapter!

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Who Are You? – The Who

You know what’s mighty: RanDumb’s now rated #2 on the Amazon Humour charts. Oh. Betsy!

You know what’s not so mighty: Toothaches. Almost sent me back to Ireland yesterday. Just so I could go home and hide in my bed until the pain was over. I know, my threshold is high. Praise the Lord for booze. Kill those wisdom germs.

You know what’s weird: When you go to the bathroom and a fly just lands on your, eh, um, ahem. And then stays there. While you’re mid-stream. Pre-tty odd. Must be some sort of omen. Lots of spillage. And this is a great story! Thank you.

To celebrate all of the above happening yesterday, I’m going to horse out a probable preview free chapter teaser from my highly anticipated new book…

‘Hubbulla!’*

*May not be the actual name.

I’m going to try a little experiment as well for a few days. To read the PDF of the sample chapter ‘Choking The Chicken’ all you have to do is simply click on the link below and Tweet or Facebook that you just downloaded it. Pre-tty easy! I think. Let’s see how it goes. First draft too. Go easy on her. Now… Chicken on!!!

Or if you can’t figure out how to Tweet, click here -> Duu?

Shuffle – Bombay Bicycle Club