Category Archives: Random Ramblings

Lack Of Action

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I shall not lie, I have never really gotten on well with Dublin. Or in, to be exact. Probably not for reasons which other people may have either. Proper city, multi-cultured, variety, more than a handful of clubs and pubs, all of that stuff that you would expect from a big city. However, something always bugged me about Dublin. And, being honest, I know exactly why. It is the home of my kryptonite. I never have any joy here. At all. If you know what I mean. Obviously there are plenty of reasons why this might occur, but anywhere else in the world, these factors do not seem to all converge together at once. Whatever it may be, no matter how hard I try, I just never clicked with Dublin, in that sense. 

Worst part of all, is that the talent up here is pretty good. In fact, today for example, it was fairly savage. Once again though, I got a sign that the lack of action streak would continue for me up here. While walking down Grafton Street, I was trying to multi-task. Phone and bottle of water in one hand. A banana, apple and iPod in my other hand. (Wallet, tic-tacs and notepad in my pockets, so I was weighed down). Trying to eating a second full banana, hands free, so it was sticking out of my mouth. And all the time, trying to get through the busy street towards Temple Bar, while admiring the hot women that were window shopping. It was a lot of multi-tasking. Which I managed to do well. Until I walked into one of the waist high poles that are along the street.

Seeing as, obviously, I never saw the pole, I was fairly surprised at why there was a sudden, sharp, sickening pain coming from my groin area. I thought somebody had kicked me in the rucksack. And left their foot there. My first reaction was to give an inquisitive… Awww?…  which, in turn, forced the full banana to pop out of my mouth, and onto the ground. Trying to grab the banana, I almost sent my iPod flying which made me grab out and fling an apple across the street. Kindly, an old lady picked up the now  3/4’s left banana off the gorund, and handed it back to me. Which I had to throw into the bin, not being a fan of dirt. And I think she took that as insulting, somehow.  

The whole affair was slapstick, brutal and dumb as funk. Two girls who were window shopping next to me, just stood there and gave me a pitiful look. I think they might have thought I was actually remedial in some way. Not far off, perhaps. I was in too much pain to try and pretend to be cool, walk it off, so I just told them… I’m cool girls, come on, I swear, I am coool, give me another chance! Too late. Once again, trying too hard. That all too familiar sign, which I always get in Dublin. Not going to happen buddy. The pole in the groin is the most action I will be getting up here.

Not to worry though, progress being made on other fronts. Managed to get around to a load of different places today, network on, my level of information and knowledge is growing more and more. Plus, a meeting has been arranged in RTE for this Friday, happy days. And, also, last night I got good news about visa options. I know have two routes available to me. Depends on a few factors, but looking promising. To an extent.

One area, where I might not be as ready as I thought I might have been, is for my stand-up gig tomorrow night. Being honest, I thought I’d get 7 minutes together fairly quickly, an hour or two. Bob hope. I can talk away for 7 minutes fine. It is just not 7 minutes of laughter. In fact, from what I have tried out so far on my able guinea pig (go on the Rink) I do not think I even got 7 laughs. Or half laughs. The best, so far, has been, “Yeah, that might be good. Just don’t use it in the stand-up.” My best joke didn’t even get a half laugh! I am goosed.

Now that I think about it though, he could be wrong. Actually, he is definitely wrong. The blame for the lack of laughter, like the lack of action, is obviously not down to the quality of jokes. Or myself. It is blatantly the people I am wasting these golden lines on. Just not cool or clever enough to get them, I suppose. Obviously. (Worst part of all this is, I am thinking of using that tomorrow night. Oh sweet Jesus).

Song of the day…

Knotty Pine

Knotty Pine - Dirty Projectors & David Byrne

I’d Shake Your Hand, But…

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Today has been ridiculously long. Especially seeing as I had no alarm this morning to wake me up. Instead, and a smarter option looking back, I just kept waking up every two minutes throughout the night, in fear I had slept in. A magnificent sleep. Thankfully, I managed to make it on time to the shindig on in RTE today, so well done to me. On achieving something so basic as waking up early and getting somewhere before 10.

Being honest, I can’t fully figure out if today was actually good, could’ve been better, or just normal. Maybe I am too tired. Or maybe the fact I have absolutely nothing to judge most things off these days, might be the main factor. I have bob all yardsticks lying around. Plough on. It was an open day for producers to meet and greet the commissioning editors in RTE. Good opportunity to go along and network. Cool enough, on in a studio, lights, cameras, all that. (It shows how much I need a yardstick, seeing as that was cool to me). Pretty good to hear what they had to say, what they were looking for, what they were not looking for etc.

I also managed to have my meeting, meant for Thursday, with a commissioning editor who was interested in hearing more about my project. Although, when he told me that he focused on ‘Observational Documentaries”,  “Wildlife” and “Regional” programs, it was clear that I was approaching the wrong department (which I had figured out from checking up before I went, but any foot in the door was my line of thinking). However, he did tell me who to go to and talk to the commissioning editor suitable for my show. Plus he said he would email them first with his thoughts. Finally, he told me he was a fan of the working title for the project. Then he got called up to address the audience, and that was it. Unfortunately, this got me thinking. Was he a fan of just the title? Or did like the rest too, but really liked the title? Or which? The lack of sleep had (has) me paranoid, ha.

Off I went, to hunt down the appropriate commissioning editor, who I knew to see from his presentation earlier. The mingling with the editors was scheduled for in the afternoon, so a few more presentations were made, then first break for coffee. I must say, it is tough enough, initially at least, knowing who to go mingle with, in such a limited time frame. Seeing as I have no clue who anyone actually is, so completely clueless as to which person works for which production company. Again, I could be speaking to a guy or girl looking to produce a wildlife show, and it wouldn’t really be beneficial to me. However, at the main lunch, I made a few contacts, and it was looking to be a useful trip. If only I could catch the editor I wanted, one on one.

Did so much networking and talking during the main lunch, that I only managed to eat an apple. Gutted. All that free food too. Headed back for one more presentation before the different editors did a Q&A, must just pop into the bathroom first. So, usual malarky, standing there, doing my thing, staring at the wall, only person in there. Half a minute later, somebody else comes in and does his thing next to me. I look to my left, and, yes you have guessed correctly… the Nazi dude I sold the Shamwows to! Ha, nay, however, it was the commissioning editor I had been looking to speak with, one on one.

While finishing up, I was trying not to stare as I doubled check to make sure it was the right guy. At this stage, I am now to his left, using the hand dryer, subtly looking to my right (as subtle as one can be in a small enough bathroom). He probably thought I was checking him out. When I saw it was definitely the person I was looking for, I actually started laughing. Which I stopped quickly. In case he thought I was laughing at him in some way. So it’s just a blurt out laugh. Very normal, if you were an outsider looking in. Should I introduce myself to him now, while I have the chance, and have it as a highly awkward moment. Or wait until he at least finishes up? Or just wait until later for the allocated time slot, like everyone else?

Obviously, I did what any sane person would do. I waited for him in the hallway outside the bathroom. Like a weirdo, with a big smile. My charming, mingling smile. Worked well. I think. Maybe. No clue. Managed to say my piece, and he said he’d be interested to hear more, always looking for new ideas etc. sounded like it would suit his department. The way it worked was that it goes through his development editor first, so he gave me her email, set up a meeting, and we’ll take it from there. See, not sure if this was me being passed on again and again. Or if that is just the way it works. We shall see.

Found out that the first meet and greet was with the children’s section editor, so I decided to head to the canteen to get food. The canteen reminded me of being back in L.A actually. Kind of. In the sense that I recognized the person sitting next to me from being on t.v. I also recognized the quite good looking girl to my left, from earlier on at the first coffee break. Time for more networking… Hi (dopey mingling smile) I saw you earlier, by the coffee stuff, in Studio one? “Yeah, just taking a break now, long day” Yeah, very long, I’m wrecked, way too long… all that small talk. Seeing as the buzz at the main lunch was “Are you busy, working away?” I also enquired, which she said she was, very. How about me, what was I up to?

She had given me the green light, so I launched into a spiel about what I am doing, trying this, that and the other. Which she seemed to think was interesting, was I working on anything? This could be handy, maybe team up with a production company. Again, as she gave me the green light, told her about the sitcom I am working on, looking to get feedback while I am back in Ireland etc. And then, seeing as I had blown on about myself for long enough, I asked what she was working on, did she have many shows in production? Which, was met by a puzzled expression… “I work as part of the catering. I’m on my break.” No funking way. Seriously? Again, had to laugh.

The tiredness levels are high, so time to wrap up. If anyone is looking for a professional looking caterer, I now have the number for a good one. And, yes, he did wash his hands. I think. Not sure. Maybe. Did I?

Cool new song…

Fanfarlo

I'm A Pilot - Fanfarlo

Just Plain Rude

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Rapid fire time, just to get them out, feeling funked and have to get up early tomorrow. Proper early too. As in 9 – 5 early. What a disaster. 

We all have people who come up to us when we’re out, and annoy the funk out of you. They think they’re hilarious, or its joint banter, or that you have any clue what they are actually on about. Or, if they are a girl, they seem to think you might like them deep down, so them being a complete ape, won’t really matter. Well, I found a nice subtle way to stop this from occurring. Without being too rude. In the real world at least.

Simple really. Just delete them from your online social networks. It works a treat. I stumbled upon it before with Bobo, and realized it had worked Saturday night too from a deleted Spacebook link. Happy days. The likelihood that someone will come up and ask “Did you delete me?” are very slim. And if they actually were to ask, then maybe they’re not as bad as you thought after all. At least they didn’t shy away and all that. I imagine quite a few people are deleting me right now as we speak. The good news is, that it will work!

One plus lately, is that the blog is serving one of its functions. That is, I do not have to repeat stories or incidents over and over to all of my buddies. Some of them actually read it, good work. If someone might ask me a question, and I reply with a sentence that is basically a summary of a blogaruu, they might cut me off with “Oh yeah, I read that actually.” Which is very handy. Good work by the blog. Obviously, on the other hand, they might have come up with a good way of just cutting off my boring story. One sentence is all they need to hear, before they feel themselves getting lulled in and a bout of boredom approaching, so just pretend to have read it. Good work by them.

In a similar vein, I can now use the blog to cull a potentially boring story, which I might be expected to sit through. If the story is set up for being crap, and deep down I am sure the storyteller knows it is a bad story as well, like a lot of mine are too, obviously, I can simply take out a notebook and pen, and start writing stuff down. This distracts the storyteller… “What are you writing down?” … Oh, I’m just going to do a blog later on how crap this story is, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, keep going. So far, this has worked well. It is win-win really, we both get a laugh, no crap story is mentioned, and he can then feel free to use “Good one, put that in your blog” in a sarcastic tone from there on in. 

Have you had ever had a full blown conversation with someone, and have no clue who they were? Happened to me earlier, while walking into a shop. Walking in, some random guy greets me with a knowing nod and “How’s it going man?!” So I greeted him back with a cautious nod, and tried to think of how I might know him. The first few things out of his mouth ticked a few boxes… “U.C.C… soccer… you were gone away a while were you? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you the other day.” Which, made me think, maybe, no this sounds right, I do know you actually, how is it going man?! Yeah, just back, baa, baa… all that jazz. Conversation veered off then a tad, when I was informed that “Joe opened up a new studio upstairs, are you still taking photos yourself?” Eh, you’re losing me a bit, photos? On my disposable camera or which? At this stage, I started thinking I might not know him after all. I was going to the first floor, he was going to the second, as I turned off, he gave me a good luck nod, and “I’ll see you at soccer tomorrow shur, you played well last week!”

“Played well” and “last week” confirmed my suspicions… he is not on about me, someone else entirely. I think the look of realization on my face, might have made him click on too, judging from his facial expression. Anyways, when I came back out of the shop, he was outside as well. Had to tell him… Buddy, I think we were way off with the conversation earlier, I’ve no clue who you are. “Yeah, I realized that as I went up the stairs. You must have the same hair as a friend of mine.” Good work by both of us. Good duck.

Final bit of gibberish, is about how some people are actually just plain rude. Seriously. On the train up to Dublin earlier, no matter how many times I pretended to be on the phone, or put my iPod on, or pretend to be asleep, this guy just insisted on starting up conversations with me. Just rude. Christofa, in future, please cop on.

The whole point of this gibberish. Unfortunately, I did not manage to get a slot in the open mic stand-up this Tuesday in Dublin. I had my 3 minute set almost good to go. However, instead, while coming up on the train, I was offered a 7 minute slot in their main show on Thursday. Oh Jesus. 7 minutes, if you do not know, is a big difference than preparing for a 3 minute one.

What you endured above were a few incidents that occurred over the past few days, that I had to rustle together on the train. Reason being, I now need to double my new material for the show. Unknowingly, Christofa got my brain working, good work by him. Quantity wise at least. Quality wise… dear God, I am funked. It will be a long, uncomfortable 7 minutes for all involved. I cannot wait!

Two songs to appease you after that funbelievable gibberish! (Give the first one a few seconds to kick in, patience people!)

Discovery

I Want You Back - Discovery

Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear

Successfully Frustrated!

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Perhaps one of the best parts of today, just occurred. Whereby I just accidentally morphed two words into one. So I will start again, with my brand new word – that I am sure is used up and down the country already (although I never personally heard it in the past tense before) …

Tas been a frustrating day, so tas. Even though it did look like it was going to start so well. From a piece of information, that was mentioned in passing while setting up a meeting next week, I managed to stumble upon a potentially good networking event in Dublin next Tuesday. Trying to extract more information about the event from the source, however, turned out to be horrendously frustrating. Highly, highly bewildering to me in fact. Particularly when I am so clever when it comes to online stuff, E-Business as my background and all that. So much so, I even emailed the company, firstly asking for the withheld info, and also to let them know that their links do not work. Being so kind, and all. And then rang them, when they claimed that they were working.

However,  while I was pointing out my invalid points to them on the phone, I managed to figure out by myself, at the same time, that the links worked perfectly well. “Johnny Ape is on the phone again, telling us that the links don’t work”. They do. Perfectly well. In my dumb defence, I presumed that the links, which I clicked on 203 times in total (some ape!), were leading me to another web page. Nay, they were actually downloading the forms as Word documents. How do I know that I clicked on these links, fruitlessly, 203 times? As that was the number of documents I downloaded in total. Good work by me. (Again, in my dumb defence, my download window had been left open, and so, never highlighted that anything was being downloaded). If you want to see the conundrum I encountered, click on the first two links (2009 Open Day, and Acceptance Form) on this link… http://www.rte.ie/commissioning/news.html . See, very bewildering/obvious.

After lunch, things went down the successfully frustrating route. Figuratively speaking, I was rejected by two women. Blown out of it. In rapid fire succession as well. And, they didn’t even do it face to face. Or over the phone. Not even by text. Email! Email?! The dirty wh… I joke, I joke. Come to think of it though, I was actually rejected 3 times in quick succession, seeing as two different people, from the same company, emailed saying “Nay thank you”. Could be a good scene for the sitcom, a girl dumping me, then her friend coming back up to me, and repeating the news, just to rub it in “Just so you know, it is definitely not going to happen between ye. Go home loser.” Wh***s.

Seeing as I’ve gone with the whole rejection by women metaphor, I might as well plough on with it! So, unfortunately, like in real life, or in literal terms, if (and when)  a girl was to reject me, this has also had the opposite effect of discouraging, or disheartening me. Plenty more fish in the sea kind of thing! Spur on, can’t let one rejection (or 3, ha) get the spirits down. The key, it seems, is to try not to take it personally. If one girl (or 3… or guys if you are a girl reading) was to turn you down, would you just give up and not bother trying any more? Go off women, so to speak? Doubtful. On the other hand, if the answer to that question was “Yes”, I think my buddy Gym in Hollywood would love to meet you.

One thing I read today, amongst a load of other good stuff being honest, was this quote, which is always banded around L.A, in one form or another. 

“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

See, any old talentless, dumb, uneducated fool can do it. Obviously, instead of “press”, use the word “plough” but the gist would be the same. Anyways, enough with the Gym like quotes, I need my beauty sleep. If I am to be rejected by any more women tomorrow, I at least want to be looking well!

Before I burst with frustration, song of the day…

Rest My Chemistry - Interpol

Rest My Chemistry - Interpol

Waist Size?

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As the title will clearly show, as you will eventually read further down, it might be fair to say, that in creative terms, the ball might not bounce as highly for me in Cork, as it might in L.A. 3 factors which I noticed are no longer as frequent outside my window are: The blistering heat; ridiculously hot women I might recognize from t.v or a movie, and; men fixing their eyebrows, while carrying their poodles. Those 3 things alone would lower the bounce a notch or two down for anyone! So, for the time being, I’ll have to dance the blog around the peculiarities of Cork perhaps, while sticking with the progress on the momentum that I am trying to build before my return to L.A. 

Seeing that so many steps were made yesterday, it was bound to happen that today was a bit slower. Still, I managed to make further inroads into meetings with people in t.v stations, publishers, finance injections for the trip back, and other small, necessary tasks. Business side to be done in Ireland. Nothing significantly different since yesterday though. I did, however, see that there is an open mic up in Dublin next Tuesday, which I shall try to make. Re de de, could be my stand-up debut in Ireland. I presume all the jokes specifically tailored for the American audience would work just as well here. If not, I always have my new joke in Arabic to fall back on.

One thing I have noticed since being back, and I also noticed when I headed up to San Fran for a while from L.A, is the amount of time people waste dodging each other. It is ridiculous, an unreal waste of time. Plus credit. And, also, good excuses. Particularly when both parties are plainly avoiding one another, ha. Ehh, I’m back wherever for a while so I better give X a text, just to say whats going on… or… from the other side “ehhh, he’s back here, so I better give him a text, just to say whats going on”. Then you continue to dodge back and forth, pointlessly… We should meet up… “Busy this weekend, next week?”… I’m up the walls then, shucks… “No problem, I’ll give you a call tomorrow morning about, we can sort it out then”. Yeah, even though its half 10 at night now, call me tomorrow morning about next week, as a lot will have changed by then… Ha, it is beyond belief pointless!

If you want to meet up with someone, you will without doubt easily do it. Otherwise, just a complete waste of time with the excuses. And its not that I no longer like that person, or that I think the other person really dislikes me now either (not saying it could easily be that for them!). Just are either of us really that bothered to go out of our way for a forced meeting? Nay, grow apart and dodge on! Not sure about you, but I notice how easy it is to make great plans with someone, when you’re not in the same city as them. You almost become better friends with them, now that you don’t see each other, strange enough. Different story then when you’re within 20 minutes of each other. It is bad enough, in a why bother at all kind of way.

Almost as bad as biting the bullet and getting a bus, train, and tram for 2 hours, just to meet someone. As if you had to do it. Then sit through the forced friendship meeting, bored as you think you were forced into it, probably wishing you were back on your computer writing up a great blog, or the scene for the sitcom that you just thought of. Debatable which is worse. (Unfortunately, this happened to me, obviously. Also a worrying sign that the blog entries have that effect on me, ha). 

So, that was one way which I noticed myself wasting part of my day today. On the other hand, another part of my day was definitely not wasted, in the slightest (maybe in a good waste way, at the most). I’ve been trying fruitlessly to put these songs up for a while. However, the lack of Youtube videos forced me into learning this new method. I now know how to embed songs onto the blog. Isn’t that just great news?! Took me long enough. After thinking it was far, far harder than it was, eventually I got there. Like all things these days, trail by error.

Now glorious songs like this will be put up, the freshest of new music! Although, now that I see it laid out, the lack of the video visual is a bit of a negative. Let me know which you prefer. I’m sure the comments shall be flying in! Or, could make it, eh, purchasable. Anyways, I must go get my sleep on, must get up early and nip a dodge in the bud!

Free Energy

Dream City - Free Energy

After seeing that photo above, and listening to the song, creativity can be drawn from anywhere it seems! Bubble on!

Discovery

Carby (featuring Ezra Koenig) - Discovery

Lets Not Get Physical, Physical

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Earlier today I was going through some notes of mine, looking for something tremendously insightful and witty  I presume. Which I could not locate. Instead, I saw the bones of this scenario, which I had forgotten about. Has this ever happened to you… You unexpectedly bump into someone you know. Small talk, long time no see, yeah, too long, etc. Then, they get a phone call, and begrudgingly take it, pointing to the phone the whole time, eyes to heaven, sigh, sigh, as if they are dying to get off the phone to whoever it is. You’re standing there, waiting, passively listening to the call, when you get a sense of deja vu. That conversation sounds familiar.

Excuses are made and the person gets off the phone, finishing up with a dismissive “Yeah, definitely, I’ll call you about it, yeah yeah, definitely.” You wonder who that was, so politely enquire… Who was that? “This dope/idiot/annoying person I know, I’ve been avoiding him/her.” Oh right. Right. Then, thinking about it to yourself, it starts to dawn on you, as you slowly remember, that the last phone conversation which you had with the person you just unexpectedly bumped into, was more or less the exact same as that one.

Obviously that never happened to me or anything. Obviously. Pointless really, but I need to keep a written track of this pointless crap. It leads on to other stuff.

Moving on, in the physical world today, not a lot was accomplished. Eat, gym, and shower, were top three main activities. However, in the telephone and internet worlds, of this world, progress was made on a lot of fronts!  And by progress, I suppose I do mean baby steps. However, then again, I have eaten humble pie a good while back now and realized I have to start small and move up. Baby steps all the way!

Blog – Book Plan: Publishers are now reading over articles and seeing if they might be interested in going further with it. Progress is being made.

Blog – Sitcom Plan: A meeting with a television station to discuss the project has been provisionally arranged for next week. Progress on!

Injection of money for return to L.A: Took an unexpected turn in the right direction today, must look into it further though. However, initial signs are highly promising. Especially for the blog, seeing as, in all honesty, its legs are back in L.A.

Possibility of manager in L.A when I get back: I was contacted further today about how I’d like to be introduced to her (?). Not too sure what that actually means, but seems to be a move in the right way. Still not sure though. I asked if me popping out of a cake would be appropriate, so I’ll see what kind of response I get. And, apparently she is also Mos Def’s manager (or ex, they might have broken up). Not too sure why, but to me that seems like a good thing. Also not sure why I was actually told that too though. 

That paragraph above mentions “not”, “too” and “sure” far too many times, now that I re-read it. Also one of the least pressing issues of mine at the moment. Although it would be handy. However, as with any lead like that before, the minute I am asked for a headshot, I quickly stumble and falter. Perhaps I should just bite the bullet, suck in my cheeks, and get them done. Or, as will happen, perhaps not.

It was also mentioned to me about trying to get my script made into a short movie, or an indie film perhaps. Apparently, that kind of thing is easier to get made, than a sitcom, so more food for thought. People seem to be more willing to fund movies these days. Which made me remember, that the writer/director of In Bruges, started off (in movies at least) doing a short movie, to see if he could do it. And won an Oscar for it. Which, lead to him making In Bruges. So, more possible routes are opening up. Adaptable all the way, the more the merrier!

And, final bit of progress made so far today, was that I also did further research into my plan. The plan on how to get more people involved into whichever project will be brought forward and developed further. If anyone was interested, obviously. It is looking well. The foundations are there. A small token. Time to raise peoples spirits. A bit. And obviously benefit myself a bit too. People helping the people kind of thing.

All in all, a moral of the story, might be that a lot can be achieved by sitting in more or less the exact same spot all day. Which, I presume, is why so much work gets done in offices all over the world, every single day.

Finishing up on a similar note, my buddy kindly observed to me today, out of the blue, how he could see why people actually would read the blog… “I was thinking, a lot of people would be bored senseless at work alright, they’d read anything”. No, shaking my head in disagreement, not at all. They read it for the quality and the humour of the blogaruu. Just not really this one today, but some of the others ar… I didn’t get to finish my last sentence though. He was too busy on the phone to some dope.

Song of this office style, draining day…

Hurry Up And Wait by The Stereophonics