Category Archives: Music

Treat ‘Em Mean!

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I have two ways to describe my morning so far. One is to say I am just, just over an hour early for the train to Dublin. The other route would be to say I literally missed the original train I planned to get by 5 seconds. Not even, really, I managed to get through the gate but couldn’t stop the automatic doors from closing on me. I could have made it if I dumped by bags while I ran, but that would just have been dumb. Almost, as dumb, as someone missing their train. Especially when that someone was up 2 & 1/2 hours before the train was due to leave.

After barely making my last four trains to and from Dublin by the skin of my teeth, it was inevitable that I would miss one soon. No one to blame, except myself really. Although, I could push the boat out and say that if my friend, who I had to call to, en route to the station, was able to throw keys like a normal person, it might have been a different story. Instead, the keys did not make it over a waist-high gate. This led to me jumping over the gate, having to pick them out of a bush, hop back over the gate and then whiz off in my car. A highly valuable 30 seconds, at least, was wasted there.

I also managed to neatly place my hand in the same place twice while jumping over the gate and back. At the time I thought the stuff was moss. Squishy, white moss. Now though, I see that it is something else entirely. Whereas I was picking something up from my friend’s house, it seems the birds were dropping stuff off. Omens of good luck never hurt anyone I suppose. Anyways, I wont blame him. Or the birds. My fault all the way.

The wise old saying “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” is familiar to most. I am beginning to realize that it should be used in a lot of different walks of life. Not just one. For example, nobody is really a fan of over the top, full-on, bombardment when they first meet a girl. Well, maybe you are, but I wouldn’t be a fan myself. However, now and again I forget this, and end up doing the same myself. Well, maybe not so much in that area, but definitely others.

About a week or so ago, lets just say I met a girl in Dublin. We’ll call her Rita. First meeting we clicked big time, started brightly. We got on well, all the right boxes were ticked, the timing was right, could this be fate?! After the initial date, a few phone calls and emails were sent, bit of texting went on. Forward and back, Roddick to Federer, this was looking good. Then, I heard nothing from Rita for a few days. So I sent another text. Still nothing. This led to my imagination running off a tad. I started to think how could Rita just cut me loose like that. What did I do to ruin the groundwork that had gone before? I thought we would fly through the initial phase of our blossoming relationship, and plough on from there. Why won’t Rita ring and confirm that we are an item! At least let me get to 2nd base!!!!

Yesterday, Rita did call me. All was fine, things were still normal, regular conversation. She likes to take things slowly it seems. Things take time and all that. Oh right, my bad, I was getting ahead of myself a bit. Clingy, Id say Rita was probably thinking. We had just met. I wanted to jump straight into a relationship. Should’ve held back, played hard to get. Instead, I did the worst thing possible, and ended up just sitting around over thinking things. Ape.

Not to worry, I have my wits back with me again. Now, I am off to do what I should’ve done earlier… hook up with Rita’s friend. Tina, we’ll call her, was onto me recently. Being honest, I wasn’t sure if I’d do it to Rita and all that, me being a gentleman and all. However, Tina just wants to meet up for a coffee or something. Just a friendly meeting, nothing too serious or anything. See how it goes. I have a plan. Might see if Tina is up for doing something with Rita. More the merrier. 3-some on! Speaking of which, I forgot they’ve a 3rd friend.

First song of the day…

Brendan Benson

Poised and Ready - Brendan Benson

And one final song for yesterday…

Will You Be There - Michael Jackson

My Left Hand

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I don’t know if you even have one, but my to-do list – or two duu as I like to cleverly call it – is fairly chunky. Which, can be looked at in two ways. One way, would be to say I am fairly busy, lots of things to do. The other, more in touch with reality way, might be to say, I am a busy fool. I’ll go with option A. This morning, however, I noticed that out of last week’s two duu list, I got about 20 of the 25 things on the list, out of the way. Magnificent.

And, the other 5? Probably the most important things on it. But, you know, I got 20 of them done, I was keeping busy. I do really need to sort out number 2 on the list – Buy a small pen. The blogaruus are suffering due to my lack of notes! Last week ended with me feeling pretty weary, from knocking on so many doors. Thankfully, today I remembered I have two hands. My left hand has started promisingly, so far at least.

Well, besides this morning. First port of call was a place where, lets just say, one might try to be innocuous. I shall say no more of where it was. Instead I shall tell you of what happened when I sat down at the reception and fielded a few questions… I happened to notice a copy of the Corkonian magazine on the table behind the guy. The edition that I recently so gracefully graced. Graceful in a camel kind of way. Odds are the guy I was talking to probably never read the magazine, or even looked through it. At the time though, I was convinced that he just closed together the pages that I was on, and looked up to see me. Threw me off on my quest for Bob. A heavily coded paragraph, but if you can get it, it was funny enough. Not this paragraph. Obviously. The incident and my dumbness for connecting the two.

Now that I think of it, my next port of call doesn’t really prove my point either. Have you ever went food shopping, and made the mistake of taking a basket, instead of a trolley? Then, within an isle or two, you’ve well and truly filled up the basket? It is too late now to go all the way back outside and get a trolley. So, you have to dumbly soldier on. It’ll be easy to carry the big things on top of each other with one hand, while maneuvering the packed basket with the other hand. And using your foot to take stuff off the shelves. Almost too easy. Crushing sliced pans, squashing boxes of Cornflakes, and smashing my own eggs. Some laugh. All jokes aside, I would not recommend holding individual eggs in your hands, and allowing yourself to be annoyed at the same time. There is only one loser. The egg. Oh Jesus.

All that was before lunch though. After the hour of one, my left hand kicked in. Tap here, rat a tat there, and I was back on the road. All of those things I mentioned over the weekend might still be in limbo, or the give it time stage. However, if they tip in my favour, then at least I will have things good to go. Slowly but surely crews are being formulated, and arcs are being developed. C’mon the left hand! Instead of letting the chance that I might lose out, like I did on Saturday, due to an error in my DJ gig being double booked, I now have double booked myself, provisionally at least, for this Saturday night. Dumb, yet in a clever kind of way. C’mon the left hand!

One last thing, which I also found a bit odd today. Until today, I never encountered a guy using the term “Hee hee” to another guy. Followed by the term “Lol”. Followed by me enquiring were the messages meant for a girl? Or had he stepped out of a closet? They weren’t, he hadn’t, he saw nothing wrong with them. Maybe I am out of West Hollywood too long, but I laughed. In a ha, kind of way. He said good one, put that in your blog. I said, due to the lack of a small pen for notes, I would if I was stuck. Which, I just did. Hee hee. 

Free song as well, by the by, if anyone is interested. Stumbled on it today, if you like Sigur Ros you’ll probably like this too. Seeing as it is the main dude from Sugar Rose. All they want in return is your a-mail. Just click here

And my song of the day, belongs to a rake…

The Decemberists

The Rake's Song - The Decemberists

Wrecking My Head, Lad!

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Who is it that wrecks your head the most? The most annoying person you know? Someone who can drive you mental, without even doing much? For a few readers, it just might be the exact same person that wrecks mine the most. I figured it out today… me, myself and I. Very few people can close to the amount of inner turmoil I bestow onto myself. It is a tremendous hoot! 

For the past couple of days, my head has been wrecked for some reason. Today, I spent the first half of the day, trying to figure out exactly what it was, that was wrecking my head so much. Try as I might, I could not remember why. When I tried to think hard and just figure out what it might be, again, a blank was drawn. It started to freak me out that neither remembering why, or being able to work out why, brought me the answer. Why did I have the feeling of doom? Freaked. Freaked even more about the fact I couldn’t figure out why I was so freaked. Freak.

Was it the fact, that over the past few days, a good few people back in L-Hey were telling me to get back for the 4th of July festivities that would be going on? Roof-top pool party here, beach party there, after party somewhere. Nay, wasn’t their fault. Or what I might be missing out on. Plenty of the time for all that. Or the fact that I am back in Ireland. The whole “freaked to be back, I’d say” having been dealt with and all that. That wasn’t the issue.

Was it the fact, that I take the route of “no news is bad news”? I decided a while back, that if good news of some sort was to show up, and look promising, I would not jump the gun and get ahead of myself. Seemingly, this results in me getting more freaked, the more good news I might get. This week, progress has been made on a few different fronts. On paper, its been a good week. (Although, maybe the fact it is not on paper is the problem, ha).

However, patience and things take time, are still two troublesome areas I am dealing with. Never mind the simple fact that it is the weekend. The time when people usually chill out. Leave the emails off. Stay away from getting back to an annoying idiot knocking on their door. That can wait until after the weekend. Unfortunately, I like to blatantly ignore this logic. Illogical, irrational thinking all the way! Was this a reason for my head being wrecked? Emm…

Was it a hangover wrecking my head? Tried to blame that, along with drink, but actually blaming those two things was just passing the buck. Only one person to blame for that… myself. Getting double booked for a DJ gig, cut loose, then not using that freed up time to re-write a script I have to do? Again, my fault for doing nothing. A pattern was developing. I slowly saw the light. The reason my head was being wrecked? Not really a what, but a who. My own fault.

Most head wrecking part of all, was the simple ease of how I sorted myself out. Went to the gym. Came home. Had a shave. And I was fine again. Ha, some ape. That was it. My head was (and is) no longer wrecked. I could’ve done that yesterday. Head wrecking enough. 

Some songs, to fix your head, after bearing with all that venting…

MSTRKRFT

Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend) - MSTRKRFT

http://tinyurl.com/qb6lyt

Warm Heart Of Africa

Warm Heart Of Africa (ft. Ezra Koenig) - The Very Best

Blissfully Unaware

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On paper, these 3 things sound good. It was hot today. Good laugh out in Dubla last night. The train back to Cork was full of women. 3 positives. You would think. However, combine a factor from each, and it actually turns fairly sour. 3 hours stewing in the potent, combined smell of sweat and fake tan, on a train, while hungover to the gills, is not the greatest way to spend a Saturday afternoon. But, can’t complain. I got an opening paragraph out of it at least. 

Unfortunately, like a text I tried to send earlier, that paragraph took me at least 20 minutes to write. It has been a slow, dumb day. The text was at least 4 times the length of that paragraph as well, one of those horrendously rambling texts I enjoy sending, every now and again. Every 5 minutes or so. In the end, I had to delete it all, due to the complete lack of sense it even came close to making, and just sent “Yes”. Which I have yet to receive a reply back from. No wonder my Dublin jinx, in a certain area, powers on.

Thursday night was looking so promising as well. Well, in the sense that a quite tasty lady, for whatever reason (drink?), was laughing at all my joke. Make that plural actually, if you count the fact I now tell the same one in Arabic. Until, that is, she broke into tears. Sad tears too. Not really the kind of reaction one hopes for. I suppose its a reaction at least. In an effort to make her feel better, and so she would stop thinking it was weird that she started crying in a crowded bar, I started to join in with her. I can now spring tears it appears. At least the acting classes in L.A have paid off in one way, well worth the money I didn’t have to pay. She appreciated the gesture, then probably found it weird. And then went to the bathroom. I didn’t wait around that long for her to come back. 17 minutes flies by on your own. (Tears? Seriously? How did I actually think that might’ve went well?)

Last night was completely different, you’ll be glad to hear. The interesting offers were flying in. Two tempting 3-some offers. Very tempting. Except the fact that neither were the good kind which one dreams of. One was a joke, I think, from a buddy and his lady friend. A joke. Definitely. I think. While the other, was from some random dude I met at the bar , waiting to order a drink. Who asked me would I be up for it, the other people involved being him, and my buddy. The same one who was with his lady friend. She got the chop it seemed. I politely declined his offer, and pretended to accept the drink he bought me. Don’t worry, I made sure to swap it for the one he bought for himself. Weird enough that I saw the 3 of them getting a taxi together afterwards.

Seeing as the stand-up was recorded this week, I am aware of how it went. The reaction to me doing stand-up last week was… “Are you serious? You’re joking?” before I went up, and “Well done, good boy, here’s a biscuit, fair play” when I came off stage. This week, the reaction was… “Are you sure? Do you want to do it again?” and then “Well, its done, better than last week.” Ha, progress in my eyes, practice makes perfect, can’t beat awkward silences and bombing. Once again the funniest part of the night, for me, was hunting down the organiser to get paid. I was literally chasing him through the bar, in one door, out the other, down one stairs, up the other, finally catching him, out of breath, in the men’s bathroom. And, catching him out when he claimed he couldn’t pay me more than last week, seeing as he only had €100 notes(?), he had no change. That works for me, the less change you pay me with, the better. My fee is steadily rising! 

Other meetings in Dublin went well. It seems. I think. Then again, who knows. Not one to jump the gun. I am unaware, it seems, when it comes to the big things. Thankfully, for my own sanity, I have found myself becoming more aware of the smaller things. I now work in tandem with my shadow to determine when I might need a haircut. Not a mirror. But my shadow. Isn’t that great work by me?! My priorities are really in order. A slow, dumb, dumb day. Half thinking of going the text route. A “Yes” blogaruu would make far more sense.

Still not sure if I even like this song too much, but, anyways, Yes.

Bloc Party

One More Chance - Bloc Party

Have You Ever…?

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Seeing as some folk complained that they didn’t know when the debut was last week (spoof), I will start off with a plug. If anyone is in Dublin tomorrow night (tonight? Thursday, the 2nd) round 2 of stand-up in Ireland is going ahead in Temple Bar, the more hecklers the merrier! I can’t believe I’ve just advertised on the blog, I have well and truly sold out. How much did I get paid for that? Back to the blogaruu…

Have you ever been introduced to someone, who you already kind of know, but was never properly introduced to them? Sober anyways. And you know that they don’t like you. As in numerous people might have told you, how much that person went on about your immense downfalls or shortcomings, over and over again at a party one night, that kind of thing. And you probably don’t have time for that person either, seeing as they bothered to bitch about you, without ever even speaking to them. However, the person who is introducing, is completely oblivious to all this. Then the third party slowly starts to get a vibe, as it finally dawns on them, that X does not seem to like you, and you don’t seem to be too open to X in return. The great, awkward “Oh, do ye know each other already? Have ye met before” moment kicks in. And the fun is had. No? Me neither.

Have you ever had to catch a train to Dublin at 8.30, but decided to first jump in the shower at about 8.04. With the train station about a 15 minute drive at least, depending on traffic. And leaving any bit of packing to be done, until after the shower? Then wonder why you bothered? Nope? Me neither.

Have you ever then, to make matters worse, actually spent the whole entire train trip making out a demo mix, which you have actually been asked for a while back, and asked again today, by a promoter of a brand new club in L.A. Could be a big break. And you are on fire! One of the greatest D.J’ing performances, known to mankind, is occurring on a train from Cork to Dublin. You will proudly show off your mixing and remixing talent, with this 2 hour mix that you have just performed, and recorded, on the mostly empty section of the train. Until, of course, you realize, whoops, must not have recorded that actually. You are certain that you did, better check again… no, didn’t work for some reason. The job. Anyone? Me neither.

Have you ever made out a highly important to-do list. Vital stuff on the list, in order of priority, buckle down and have to get through it before the weekend, must make this week count. Then, you realize that you have actually put at number 2 on that list, prioritizing it as the 2nd most important thing you need to do, is to buy a pen. Even though you are writing the list with a pen, and have a handful in your bag, you really need this special type of pen, or else you can’t move on to number 3 on the list. Nay? Me nayther.

Final one, have you ever woke up to rain absolutely bucketing down outside your window? Skies are grey, horrendous looking day, it is a bad start. From that alone, if you were to predict what the rest of it may be like, you would think “bleak”. Then, within 5 minutes, or however long it might take you to read a text and check your emails, it immediately turns into the best day all week. By far. So far, anyways. All those annoying things that you were impatiently waiting on all day Monday, started to trickle back your way, all with good news. Good as in progress was still being made, baby steps and all. Yeah? Me too! Today! Pretty weird.

I lied, one last one… Have you thought to yourself “I am fairly tired. Very in fact. I know, I’ll do a blogaruu based around the game – Have you ever? – and it’ll actually be a good one. Yeah, that sounds like a plan” Then, after you type it all up, you realize, eh, maybe that was a horrendous idea? Maybe that did no go as well as you planned. Perhaps you should’ve slept on the train, instead of not recording a great mix? Em, not fully sure, but I think I may have definitely done that one too. Does not bode well for stand-up tomorrow night!

New songs a plenty, here is just one…

Fleet Foxes

Blue Spotted Tail - Fleet Foxes

Chimping Away

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I do believe that more people in Ireland should be on Twitter. And here is why… the number one question I have been asked in a hurry, since I got home, has been – “Are you on Meteor?” (For any none Irish readers, Meteor customers get free phone calls and texts to each other). I have since come up with a handy tactic. If I want to talk to that person, then the answer is yes. If I don’t, then I am not Meteor I’m afraid, why do yo… usually the person has hung up at this stage, so that no more of their credit is wasted. Am I actually on Meteor? Who knows, it depends, ha. The truth is, weirdly enough, my Yank phone, like in Mexico, is free to use in Ireland, so I am really still using that. 

Back to my great point. If more people were on Twitter, they could just text Twitter their group text, e.g Who’s out tonight? One text to Twitter, and they will have reached all their other friends, who are also on Twitter. Including those not on Meteor. I have noticed that some people are no longer friends with each other anymore, or may not have spoken with them in a long, long time, purely based on what network they now are. The big R, huh, a roll-on effect!

Although, it is fair to say that some people are on Twitter. Seeing as a girl I spoke to the other night, told me that she too was watching Neil Young on t.v, playing at Glastonbury (I did a Twitter of how good he was, savage, rocking on!). Anyways, I did get the impression that she was lying to me, perhaps saying it just for the sake of it. Maybe I’m wrong though. Maybe she did see Neil Young, but seeing as she told me she loved Neil Diamond “He was so good at Glastonbury, I saw your Tweet” Neil Diamond? Are you sure? “Yeah, I love (cue singing voice) – Forever in blue jeans babe – he looked so good at Glastonbury, wish I was there” Neil Diamond? Definitely? “Eh, yeah, Neil Diamond, forever in blue jeans, my favourite…” I think she might have made the story up. But, maybe I’m wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I’m wrong about a lot of things. I personally think change is good. But maybe I’m wrong. Recently, a guy came up to me who definitely was not a fan of change. I gathered this from “I remember you in school, you’ve changed. What are you up to? When are you going to cop on?” School. Not back in college/university, but back in school (which is another weird thing, in Ireland and Emerica everyone says college, all Europe say university, horrendously pointless point by me really). Not even sure if he was referring to secondary school either, or further back to primary school. We’ll say secondary though. Which would be about 8 years.  Changed in 8 years. What a weird thing to do. When I gave the compliment back, that he had not changed a bit, I could see that this pleased him immensely. Win, win really. Being honest, I only recognized him because of the school jumper he was still wearing. Oh Jesus.

See, maybe I am wrong. Maybe resigning myself to the fact that I have already had the best summer of my life, or the best night of my life, or the best haircut of my life, or have already been with the hottest girl that unreal night when my haircut was unreal, is the way to go. I wish I could go back to those days. They were unreal. Seriously. Greatest ever. Sounds like the better option really.

 Today has been progressive enough, chimping away all day! Ha, the chimp part came from a girl earlier, we’ll call her Theodore, mistaking the word chip, for chimp. In fairness though, chimpmunks and chipmunks are close enough. Maybe it wasn’t a fully productive day actually. Although, in the past few days, a good few innocuous incidents like those above, have got me thinking, and I now have a new light to shine upon the sitcom. A different approach, which is getting good feedback already. From family and friends. Which doesn’t really count. Only the opinionated shrill of a gay man counts these days it seems. They did set that bar high!

Speaking of which, the blog numbers have ballooned in the past few days. Go on the blog! Not too sure why. As in there has been no flogging of its amazing appeal. Obviously, the past few blogaruus have just been superb. Hoviously. Which leads me to believe, that maybe a third light could be shone on the sitcom angle. Perhaps one about a dope sitting around all day Twittering and Spacebooking, while pestering people with emails and phone calls, could be a big, big hit too. I think I may be onto something. Then again, I’ve changed. Maybe not. Who knows? 

Song of this chimpy day…

Vampire Weekend

The Kids Don't Stand A Chance (Miike Snow Remix) - Vampire Weekend

http://tinyurl.com/lnm5u9