Monthly Archives: June 2009

Successfully Frustrated!

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Perhaps one of the best parts of today, just occurred. Whereby I just accidentally morphed two words into one. So I will start again, with my brand new word – that I am sure is used up and down the country already (although I never personally heard it in the past tense before) …

Tas been a frustrating day, so tas. Even though it did look like it was going to start so well. From a piece of information, that was mentioned in passing while setting up a meeting next week, I managed to stumble upon a potentially good networking event in Dublin next Tuesday. Trying to extract more information about the event from the source, however, turned out to be horrendously frustrating. Highly, highly bewildering to me in fact. Particularly when I am so clever when it comes to online stuff, E-Business as my background and all that. So much so, I even emailed the company, firstly asking for the withheld info, and also to let them know that their links do not work. Being so kind, and all. And then rang them, when they claimed that they were working.

However,  while I was pointing out my invalid points to them on the phone, I managed to figure out by myself, at the same time, that the links worked perfectly well. “Johnny Ape is on the phone again, telling us that the links don’t work”. They do. Perfectly well. In my dumb defence, I presumed that the links, which I clicked on 203 times in total (some ape!), were leading me to another web page. Nay, they were actually downloading the forms as Word documents. How do I know that I clicked on these links, fruitlessly, 203 times? As that was the number of documents I downloaded in total. Good work by me. (Again, in my dumb defence, my download window had been left open, and so, never highlighted that anything was being downloaded). If you want to see the conundrum I encountered, click on the first two links (2009 Open Day, and Acceptance Form) on this link… http://www.rte.ie/commissioning/news.html . See, very bewildering/obvious.

After lunch, things went down the successfully frustrating route. Figuratively speaking, I was rejected by two women. Blown out of it. In rapid fire succession as well. And, they didn’t even do it face to face. Or over the phone. Not even by text. Email! Email?! The dirty wh… I joke, I joke. Come to think of it though, I was actually rejected 3 times in quick succession, seeing as two different people, from the same company, emailed saying “Nay thank you”. Could be a good scene for the sitcom, a girl dumping me, then her friend coming back up to me, and repeating the news, just to rub it in “Just so you know, it is definitely not going to happen between ye. Go home loser.” Wh***s.

Seeing as I’ve gone with the whole rejection by women metaphor, I might as well plough on with it! So, unfortunately, like in real life, or in literal terms, if (and when)  a girl was to reject me, this has also had the opposite effect of discouraging, or disheartening me. Plenty more fish in the sea kind of thing! Spur on, can’t let one rejection (or 3, ha) get the spirits down. The key, it seems, is to try not to take it personally. If one girl (or 3… or guys if you are a girl reading) was to turn you down, would you just give up and not bother trying any more? Go off women, so to speak? Doubtful. On the other hand, if the answer to that question was “Yes”, I think my buddy Gym in Hollywood would love to meet you.

One thing I read today, amongst a load of other good stuff being honest, was this quote, which is always banded around L.A, in one form or another. 

“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

See, any old talentless, dumb, uneducated fool can do it. Obviously, instead of “press”, use the word “plough” but the gist would be the same. Anyways, enough with the Gym like quotes, I need my beauty sleep. If I am to be rejected by any more women tomorrow, I at least want to be looking well!

Before I burst with frustration, song of the day…

Rest My Chemistry - Interpol

Rest My Chemistry - Interpol

Waist Size?

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As the title will clearly show, as you will eventually read further down, it might be fair to say, that in creative terms, the ball might not bounce as highly for me in Cork, as it might in L.A. 3 factors which I noticed are no longer as frequent outside my window are: The blistering heat; ridiculously hot women I might recognize from t.v or a movie, and; men fixing their eyebrows, while carrying their poodles. Those 3 things alone would lower the bounce a notch or two down for anyone! So, for the time being, I’ll have to dance the blog around the peculiarities of Cork perhaps, while sticking with the progress on the momentum that I am trying to build before my return to L.A. 

Seeing that so many steps were made yesterday, it was bound to happen that today was a bit slower. Still, I managed to make further inroads into meetings with people in t.v stations, publishers, finance injections for the trip back, and other small, necessary tasks. Business side to be done in Ireland. Nothing significantly different since yesterday though. I did, however, see that there is an open mic up in Dublin next Tuesday, which I shall try to make. Re de de, could be my stand-up debut in Ireland. I presume all the jokes specifically tailored for the American audience would work just as well here. If not, I always have my new joke in Arabic to fall back on.

One thing I have noticed since being back, and I also noticed when I headed up to San Fran for a while from L.A, is the amount of time people waste dodging each other. It is ridiculous, an unreal waste of time. Plus credit. And, also, good excuses. Particularly when both parties are plainly avoiding one another, ha. Ehh, I’m back wherever for a while so I better give X a text, just to say whats going on… or… from the other side “ehhh, he’s back here, so I better give him a text, just to say whats going on”. Then you continue to dodge back and forth, pointlessly… We should meet up… “Busy this weekend, next week?”… I’m up the walls then, shucks… “No problem, I’ll give you a call tomorrow morning about, we can sort it out then”. Yeah, even though its half 10 at night now, call me tomorrow morning about next week, as a lot will have changed by then… Ha, it is beyond belief pointless!

If you want to meet up with someone, you will without doubt easily do it. Otherwise, just a complete waste of time with the excuses. And its not that I no longer like that person, or that I think the other person really dislikes me now either (not saying it could easily be that for them!). Just are either of us really that bothered to go out of our way for a forced meeting? Nay, grow apart and dodge on! Not sure about you, but I notice how easy it is to make great plans with someone, when you’re not in the same city as them. You almost become better friends with them, now that you don’t see each other, strange enough. Different story then when you’re within 20 minutes of each other. It is bad enough, in a why bother at all kind of way.

Almost as bad as biting the bullet and getting a bus, train, and tram for 2 hours, just to meet someone. As if you had to do it. Then sit through the forced friendship meeting, bored as you think you were forced into it, probably wishing you were back on your computer writing up a great blog, or the scene for the sitcom that you just thought of. Debatable which is worse. (Unfortunately, this happened to me, obviously. Also a worrying sign that the blog entries have that effect on me, ha). 

So, that was one way which I noticed myself wasting part of my day today. On the other hand, another part of my day was definitely not wasted, in the slightest (maybe in a good waste way, at the most). I’ve been trying fruitlessly to put these songs up for a while. However, the lack of Youtube videos forced me into learning this new method. I now know how to embed songs onto the blog. Isn’t that just great news?! Took me long enough. After thinking it was far, far harder than it was, eventually I got there. Like all things these days, trail by error.

Now glorious songs like this will be put up, the freshest of new music! Although, now that I see it laid out, the lack of the video visual is a bit of a negative. Let me know which you prefer. I’m sure the comments shall be flying in! Or, could make it, eh, purchasable. Anyways, I must go get my sleep on, must get up early and nip a dodge in the bud!

Free Energy

Dream City - Free Energy

After seeing that photo above, and listening to the song, creativity can be drawn from anywhere it seems! Bubble on!

Discovery

Carby (featuring Ezra Koenig) - Discovery

Lets Not Get Physical, Physical

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Earlier today I was going through some notes of mine, looking for something tremendously insightful and witty  I presume. Which I could not locate. Instead, I saw the bones of this scenario, which I had forgotten about. Has this ever happened to you… You unexpectedly bump into someone you know. Small talk, long time no see, yeah, too long, etc. Then, they get a phone call, and begrudgingly take it, pointing to the phone the whole time, eyes to heaven, sigh, sigh, as if they are dying to get off the phone to whoever it is. You’re standing there, waiting, passively listening to the call, when you get a sense of deja vu. That conversation sounds familiar.

Excuses are made and the person gets off the phone, finishing up with a dismissive “Yeah, definitely, I’ll call you about it, yeah yeah, definitely.” You wonder who that was, so politely enquire… Who was that? “This dope/idiot/annoying person I know, I’ve been avoiding him/her.” Oh right. Right. Then, thinking about it to yourself, it starts to dawn on you, as you slowly remember, that the last phone conversation which you had with the person you just unexpectedly bumped into, was more or less the exact same as that one.

Obviously that never happened to me or anything. Obviously. Pointless really, but I need to keep a written track of this pointless crap. It leads on to other stuff.

Moving on, in the physical world today, not a lot was accomplished. Eat, gym, and shower, were top three main activities. However, in the telephone and internet worlds, of this world, progress was made on a lot of fronts!  And by progress, I suppose I do mean baby steps. However, then again, I have eaten humble pie a good while back now and realized I have to start small and move up. Baby steps all the way!

Blog – Book Plan: Publishers are now reading over articles and seeing if they might be interested in going further with it. Progress is being made.

Blog – Sitcom Plan: A meeting with a television station to discuss the project has been provisionally arranged for next week. Progress on!

Injection of money for return to L.A: Took an unexpected turn in the right direction today, must look into it further though. However, initial signs are highly promising. Especially for the blog, seeing as, in all honesty, its legs are back in L.A.

Possibility of manager in L.A when I get back: I was contacted further today about how I’d like to be introduced to her (?). Not too sure what that actually means, but seems to be a move in the right way. Still not sure though. I asked if me popping out of a cake would be appropriate, so I’ll see what kind of response I get. And, apparently she is also Mos Def’s manager (or ex, they might have broken up). Not too sure why, but to me that seems like a good thing. Also not sure why I was actually told that too though. 

That paragraph above mentions “not”, “too” and “sure” far too many times, now that I re-read it. Also one of the least pressing issues of mine at the moment. Although it would be handy. However, as with any lead like that before, the minute I am asked for a headshot, I quickly stumble and falter. Perhaps I should just bite the bullet, suck in my cheeks, and get them done. Or, as will happen, perhaps not.

It was also mentioned to me about trying to get my script made into a short movie, or an indie film perhaps. Apparently, that kind of thing is easier to get made, than a sitcom, so more food for thought. People seem to be more willing to fund movies these days. Which made me remember, that the writer/director of In Bruges, started off (in movies at least) doing a short movie, to see if he could do it. And won an Oscar for it. Which, lead to him making In Bruges. So, more possible routes are opening up. Adaptable all the way, the more the merrier!

And, final bit of progress made so far today, was that I also did further research into my plan. The plan on how to get more people involved into whichever project will be brought forward and developed further. If anyone was interested, obviously. It is looking well. The foundations are there. A small token. Time to raise peoples spirits. A bit. And obviously benefit myself a bit too. People helping the people kind of thing.

All in all, a moral of the story, might be that a lot can be achieved by sitting in more or less the exact same spot all day. Which, I presume, is why so much work gets done in offices all over the world, every single day.

Finishing up on a similar note, my buddy kindly observed to me today, out of the blue, how he could see why people actually would read the blog… “I was thinking, a lot of people would be bored senseless at work alright, they’d read anything”. No, shaking my head in disagreement, not at all. They read it for the quality and the humour of the blogaruu. Just not really this one today, but some of the others ar… I didn’t get to finish my last sentence though. He was too busy on the phone to some dope.

Song of this office style, draining day…

Hurry Up And Wait by The Stereophonics

Bring Back The Bubble!

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For some reason, it occurred to me today, that people in Ireland are suspicious of a happy mood… “Why are you so happy? You should be freaked. You’re freaked to be back, right?” Which lead to my immense conundrum from the last post finally being solved. Took me long enough. The reason that people keep asking me over and over, presuming over and over, that I am freaked to be back, is… that… they are… just freaked themselves, to be here in Cork, it seems. And the reason they would keep asking over and over, until I might eventually say, yeah, freaked alright, is because that is just the only answer they want to hear. Nothing else will please them. Just because they are freaked to be in Cork, or depressed, or whatever it is, people seem to want to project this onto others. I cant be happy so why should you, kind of thing. 

So, having figured that out, after fielding similar questions today, I think it is surely high time, that people cheered the funk up. Seriously. If needs be, bring annoying, eternal optimism back! It was not this bad before. Things could be worse! The bubble of optimism floating all over Hollywood has to be shipped over. And I know, I know, it appears as if I am complaining about people complaining. But I’m not, I’m just making an observation. Plus, I now kind of have a plan on how to supply a small token of light, a beacon, that might cheer people up. Make them feel involved, if they want to, obviously. More to come on that! Oh my God, re de de, all the depressed, down, freaked people, who wish they were anywhere but here, like I must wish too, you must be freaked, freaked – yeah, freaked alright – must be freaking out wanting to know what it is going to be?!!! 

Back to making progress on one of the plans… blog – book – sitcom – movie. Today, I got feedback from BAFTA about my episode script. Unbelievably helpful feedback too. First thing which I was told, is that in Hollywood, there are only two outcomes for your script – brilliant or nothing. Either your script is brilliant, and ready to be passed around to the right people, so that you can be confident that its just not a waste of time. Or, nothing. There’s no other alternative really. And, I am now freaked. My script is not in the brilliant category. Might as well just give up, I can’t believe it’s not brilliant after the first (longer than I thought, and tougher than I thought) effort.

Nay. Thankfully, I was given fairly specific pointers on where to improve or change aspects of it, so its all flowing in the right direction. I wont say exactly what was said, but the drive to get the successful pilot has increased since the chat! It is not in the brilliant category… yet. Although, that also includes it being specific to Hollywood producers as well. I was told that in other places, such as Ireland or England, a different view could be taken, as the story is not as common i.e some idiot going off to L.A to try acting and all that. On paper, a lot of people are like that in L.A. So, more food for thought. I could get more specific, but might ramble on a bit too much.

Instead I will give a brief summary of the main points:

Tone it down. Make it more suitable and appealing to as many people as possible.

Can it be made more original. Apparently there was a movie 75 years ago called On The Stage Door, all about actors in L.A trying to get a break kind of thing. So, its been done that way years ago.

Surprise the reader more. Not with the content, but with the story line e.g Ugly Betty in the fashion industry, as opposed to a model in the fashion industry.

Now, I think I might take two routes. Firstly, re-write the script again, keeping it similar for Irish and English pitches, but perhaps toning parts down. There was one part in particular that was meant one way, but came across a different way. And the mix-up is fairly funny, but not in the greatest of ways for me. Perhaps I did not make it seem as obvious as I thought. Or I am just too clever for my own good. Only about 4 people will get the meaning of those gibberish lines.

Secondly, at the same time, I will make the original idea for the sitcom slightly different and seen from a different angle, to appeal more to the American producers. And write, in the main, a new script. Which I have thought of a way already, so happy enough. I was also told that I should not write what I might think a potential audience might like, but write it geared towards what a potential producer will like. If that makes any sense, it did to me at the time of being told. Best part of all, is that once the re-write is finished, my helpful source in BAFTA wants to see it again. I am not cut out of the loop… yet!

All in all, for a first Monday back, getting that feedback, plus thinking of my new plan, as well as getting a few more issues dealt with or under way, it wasn’t too bad a day. The bubble has yet to be burst. And, not really the video, just the song, helped to play a part…

Dat New New (Viking Remix) by Kid Cudi

Prison Break

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Unless I am mistaken, Cork, as in the city itself, is not actually a prison. Except, obviously, for the actual prison that is here. Besides that though, there are no physical barriers to prevent one from leaving. Mental barriers seem to be the only problems that might stop somebody for leaving. I wasn’t out on probation and now being legally forced back to Cork to stay here forever.

So, when people keep asking if I am freaked to be back, I can honestly say no, I’m not. Why would I be freaked? The only thing, I thought, that was beginning to freak me out a bit was that people would ask me over and over, prodding me for the answer they wanted to hear, only satisfied if I might eventually say – Freaked alright, freaked! “I knew it, I’d be freaked too if I was you.” I’d obviously prefer to be L.A right now, but what should I do, wallow around in despair and just sigh all the time? I also wouldn’t mind being on a beach in the Caribbean perhaps, there are plenty of other places I’d like to be.

Last night was my first night back out in Cork. It was almost forced going out though, feeling like I should really be out. Just back home, first time in about 6 months, plus my birthday the day before, I surely should be out having a few boozes. However, and I suppose this is a good thing, I realized that the majority of buddies who I’d go out with usually, have now departed from Cork, flown the rooster or however that saying goes. Not even the reliable Dr. Lump was around! Quite bizarre.

Anyways, went out, met a good few people that I hadn’t seen in, strangely, about 6 months, ha, good enough initially. Although when I did ask – What are you up to since last time I saw you – and got told “Ah, the usual, you know yourself shur” I did think to myself, that I have no clue what the usual for you is, at all. Gay gyms, C – Z list celebrity hanger on, and selling Super Shammys to Nazis, off the top of my head? I know it only too well! 

One funny thing I noticed, especially if someone offers to buy a drink, is that people still seem to be almost offended if you ask for a light beer, instead of a pint. “Light? Are you gone gay?” Agreeing with them -Yeah, very, how did you know? – throws them off a bit. “Are you still eating like a hawk too? Jesus, what’s wrong with you?” as they put their pints on their bellies and fold their arms, looking me up and down with a slight look of disgust. Not sure really, something has gone wrong I agree but could you ask them for a tiny little umbrella sticking out of the bottle too if you don’t mind, cheers boss.

Good to see as well that so many people, who I might have thought didn’t really like me before, were so happy to see me back. “You’re back? I knew it, I knew you would be. I thought you were off wri-thing mooo-vies? Just gave up I suppose? I knew it” Thumbs up. Some randomer let me know “I heard you on the radio, you were s**t”. Cheers bud, two thumbs up. One guy in particular decided to come up to me early in the night, drunk, and tell me “Oh look who it is, the blog is it, huh, what a load of crap. You do know that nobody reads that crap. You’re back I see anyways, about time”. Good to see your eyes work well. Then, later in the club, presume even more drunk, same guy “C’mere, do you know in the blog, I read it once, who was the hot neighbour you were on about? Was she savage or what? Was your man really a Nazi too?” then stumbles off muttering “Load of crap really, I could do way better”.

They were only minor few really though, funny to laugh at all the same. Being honest, the night was grand, nothing to write home in a blog about (oh Jesus). I started thinking, maybe I was actually freaked to be back? However, it was when genuine buddies might ask why I was actually back, and I told them I was back for a few weeks now, instead of, in all probability, in 2 weeks time, was that my Gran had passed away, that I began to realize in my own head why I might not be in the most exuberant of moods. Not that I was freaked to be back, but obviously just down or sad for the reason I had to come home, who wouldn’t be though? (On a side note, I’m not sure why I type the word Gran, yet say the word Nana? Strange to me, but anyways).

Still though, being unknowingly reminded of this over and over again, throughout the night (not that it was anyone’s fault, obviously) puts a bit of a damper on the night. Which might explain why I was home for about half 1, ha, a great sign for any night really, especially one when you are not doing a sober Joe. Although the fact that the club I was in felt like the afters of a bad wedding didn’t really help too much either.

A few people were asking me as well last night what made me decide to funk off over to L.A in the first place. One guy asked me to put it in the blog as he didn’t think he’d be sober enough to remember, ha, and could read it today. Not really sure, but I know the following helped. Reading The Alchemist was one. Listening to Sigur Ros. Movies like Into The Wild. Another great book is The Road Less Traveled. None of them might inspire others, good few people would probably highly dislike all of them, but they worked for me. I must go listen, read or watch something like that now, to help me plot my prison break attempts tomorrow.

For anyone in America reading too, here are a few photos my brother took, showing off what the main streets in the main cities in Ireland look like.

I could say that this was the first song that played, that was on the first unknown burnt CD I found in my car yesterday, when I drove again back here for the first time. But, it wasn’t. It was the about 5th song I flicked onto. Either way, a good jail breaking song if anyone needs one.

Away From Here by The Enemy

Red Or White?

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I shall not lie, over the past few days I was unsure if the 100th mark would be reached, never mind broken. However, I have decided to prove myself wrong, and write on! The reason for this uncertainty, initially, was due to me being unsure how long more I could stay in America for, on this current visa. With under 2 weeks left on the visa, I was weighing up another spring break trip to Mexico or Canada. My episode was good to go, being passed around, I was heading back to L.A in order to get a scene or two made, I had even been contacted about the possibility of meeting with a fairly reputable manager. Again, that sort of stuff is hearsay in my book until it happens, can only count on yourself really but worth looking into at least. Still, if it all went to plan, a quick spring break and back again, somehow, to keep the ball rolling.

Sadly, my Gran passed away this week back in Ireland, so that changed things even further. I was getting ready to go to the airport yesterday, packing my bags, and not knowing if I was L.A or Ireland bound. Managed to get a flight back in time for the funeral tomorrow, so instead of heading back to L.A for 10 days or so, bizarrely, and fairly surreal being honest, I am now back in Ireland for a few weeks. All happened fairly quickly, but no time to mull it over. Now, I shall just have to find a way to go back out there in 3 weeks, and make more than the 2 scenes I had planned for next week. Instead, I shall make a shorter version of the entire episode, start to finish if I can, must turn it into a plus! This now will be my visa trip as well. 

Just in the door and highly jet lagged, so decided to write on in hope to bore myself enough to fall asleep. I managed to lift my mental block of thinking that I could only write when in L.A, seeing as I managed to get a fair bit done in San Fran. Now the tougher test, can I pull fodder out of the bag for Cork and Ireland while I am back. I have the faith, in quantity, if not quality, at least! There shall be no whining or complaining about being back either, I miss L.A and all that. Put a cork in it (oh Jesus) and deal with it. Stage 1 has been completed, now plough on! Things can be worked on from here too while I’m back.

Although, I did forget that it was no longer L.A, or even America, that I was in, where the dress code is carte blanche. This was when I noticed bizarre items such as a hat (a hat?!) or a scarf (a scarf, oh my God, what an insane thing to wear!) get too many strange looks. Or maybe its that mullets are no longer as cool here as before. That statement is highly doubtful though.

The trip home, compared to previous airport adventures, was highly uneventful. There were no elaborate searches, terminal chases, mishaps or misunderstandings. I did, however, realize what my biggest fear is, just before boarding a long haul flight. And that, justifiably so I do believe, is the fear that my iPod will freeze just as I get onto the plane. And stay frozen until the battery dies. Which would be at least 12 hours. More than the flight. What a dose that would be. Obviously far worse could happen, but still, that would be highly annoying. Don’t mean to sound insensitive with the recent crash and all, but as we were taking off, I realized that was all my warped mind was worried about.

In fairness though, if I had no music, I would’ve been entertained by my new 4’2 (I think), Jordanian friend, Leen, who I sat next to on the plane. Or Gordanian as I liked to call it. Or Michael Jordan as I also liked to mistake it for. The jokes were flying out, it was a long, looong flight for her. I also used tried out my new truth line… I’m a writer -“Oh yeah, what do you write?” – A blog, ha… which went down well. So did her joke of… Yeah, I’m a terrorist, undercover sorority girl… so it was a hilarious flight home. I played two songs off the top of my head too, Lean Back, and Come On Eileen, which were received with two pitiful shakes of her head. Overall, a mighty flight! Especially, especially, seeing as I now have a joke to tell in Arabic (phonetically speaking)… Esh byakol hsaan looti? Hasheeeeeeeesh!!! (Say the punch line in a West Hollywood accent and you might be able to guess it).

Two things that did manage to put a pep in my step in the past hour… 1. My brother telling me that people who we might not have met before or seen in years, were blatantly showing him their disappointment, when he told them he wasn’t me when asked earlier at the removal, ha. Appears I have a Joe Dolan type of fan base building up. And 2. This song for some reason, which was used before but funk it, recycle on…

All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem