Tag Archives: Writing

Self Help

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I’ll start with an idea which I had this morning. I think, that, like the way restaurants have the Michelin star rating, and hotels also have a star rating, surely, surely hairdressers/salons should have something similar. Some kind of rating system, to help out the poor, defenseless customer. Then, apes will not be fooled into thinking that a place might be good on appearance or price alone. It would also provide concrete proof that a hairdresser might actually be qualified to cut hair. Rather than it seemingly being purely based on the fact he/she is wearing black, and his/her hair is an extreme shade of colour, be it blonde, red or purple/black. I’m kind of surprised this system hasn’t been implemented already. Has this mini rant any connection to the 2 haircuts I got last week? The ones that have made me now sport a nice afro shrub kind of look? Perhaps.

Anyways, I have decided that the main objective for the coming week, or two, is to re-write my sitcom script. I need this as my calling card so to speak, so it must be improved, until it is perfect. Only one person really to blame for it not being done already. Yes, that person is you. When I last went to San Francisco, I purely went to write the first draft of the script. Literally, thats all I did besides sleep, eat and gym. I had no other distractions. Another handy thing, which coincided with the trip, was that I had creativity spilling out of me, from incidents and events going on every day around me in L.A. I had a pool to draw from. Although looking back, and comparing it to my current situation, I had an ocean to draw from. I need to reignite that spark, to get my brain flowing again.

With that in mind, I have decided to self educate myself some more until I feel the flow returning. My writing knowledge and foundations are unknown as it is, so any help I can give myself will be worthwhile. Yesterday I copped on to why my laptop’s memory is full to the brim. Not really with all the music I have, like I had thought. It was all the writing podcasts I had signed up to before, and then completely forgot about. These are actually turning out to be gems. You can get a load of free podcasts related to writing, screenplays, film making, sitcom tips etc on iTunes. Whatever about the books I am reading, which are helpful, parts of these podcasts are brilliant, as they answer questions I have had for a while. Ones which the books weren’t really answering. I would highly recommend checking them out if you are ever trying to write something. Especially if you don’t really having a formal background in the field. And are pretty clueless. So you are relying on good old fashioned home education.

Some of the podcasts are fairly long, up to an hour, so I have been trying to weed out the key info I need. Some of the best points I got today were: 

 – Don’t have too much information in the script. Don’t be too descriptive.

 – Remember it is a visual medium that you are writing for, not a literary one (Sounds obvious, but it can turn into a book at times for me).

 – All about the arcs. Ensure your story outline is good before you start.

 – What’s your point? Say it, make it funny, get out.

 – Have a collection of work. Do as much as you can, to show a range. T.V scripts, short movie scripts, feature scripts, the more the better.

 – Write spec scripts for other shows!

The first and third will help me re-focus for the script re-write. Cut out the flowery details, kind of thing, which I think I may have an abundance of, re de de. Such as, re de de. The last two are ones which I badly need to cop on to. Without spec scripts, to accompany my original pilot, it will be harder to get a break. Apparently. I should really have copped on to this point already. Seeing as I am at the stage now where I need to optimize all my chances, I need to get these things done. 

While I was going through other notes as well today, in my day of home school, I saw something I wrote down from one of the acting classes. That is you probably need to sacrifice relationships to pursue a career in this line of work. I am beginning to see this more and more. It is not that I am avoiding people, it is just having to prioritize what I want. I just don’t want to get into a rut of familiar ways or old habits seeping in. Self discipline and self motivation are the toughest two areas to maintain at times. Have to plough on though, no-one else to hound me into doing any of it.

Just by writing all of the above, I think it has rekindled some of the motivation and creative spark again, wuu huu! Along with the help of Sigur Ros’ fine music, I can feel a flow coming back. Self medicate through the struggle!

To finish on a good note, for me, a step in the right direction was made towards a visa today. C’mon the dream, shine on! One final thing which was in some acting notes I read through earlier, was how it is always good to change your daily routine, in some way. This then will stop you just going through the motions, and make you more aware of your surroundings. Which is meant to be useful for acting out daily events. Loosely, and I mean loosely based on that, I might try a vlog soon. Ha, I’ll wait until something exciting or fun happens first though!

Song of the day is…

Yeasayer

Sunrise (Pocketknife Remix) - Yeasayer

One last song actually, just came on my iTunes, jive on!

Stevie Wonder

 Part Time Lover – Stevie Wonder

Wrecking My Head, Lad!

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Who is it that wrecks your head the most? The most annoying person you know? Someone who can drive you mental, without even doing much? For a few readers, it just might be the exact same person that wrecks mine the most. I figured it out today… me, myself and I. Very few people can close to the amount of inner turmoil I bestow onto myself. It is a tremendous hoot! 

For the past couple of days, my head has been wrecked for some reason. Today, I spent the first half of the day, trying to figure out exactly what it was, that was wrecking my head so much. Try as I might, I could not remember why. When I tried to think hard and just figure out what it might be, again, a blank was drawn. It started to freak me out that neither remembering why, or being able to work out why, brought me the answer. Why did I have the feeling of doom? Freaked. Freaked even more about the fact I couldn’t figure out why I was so freaked. Freak.

Was it the fact, that over the past few days, a good few people back in L-Hey were telling me to get back for the 4th of July festivities that would be going on? Roof-top pool party here, beach party there, after party somewhere. Nay, wasn’t their fault. Or what I might be missing out on. Plenty of the time for all that. Or the fact that I am back in Ireland. The whole “freaked to be back, I’d say” having been dealt with and all that. That wasn’t the issue.

Was it the fact, that I take the route of “no news is bad news”? I decided a while back, that if good news of some sort was to show up, and look promising, I would not jump the gun and get ahead of myself. Seemingly, this results in me getting more freaked, the more good news I might get. This week, progress has been made on a few different fronts. On paper, its been a good week. (Although, maybe the fact it is not on paper is the problem, ha).

However, patience and things take time, are still two troublesome areas I am dealing with. Never mind the simple fact that it is the weekend. The time when people usually chill out. Leave the emails off. Stay away from getting back to an annoying idiot knocking on their door. That can wait until after the weekend. Unfortunately, I like to blatantly ignore this logic. Illogical, irrational thinking all the way! Was this a reason for my head being wrecked? Emm…

Was it a hangover wrecking my head? Tried to blame that, along with drink, but actually blaming those two things was just passing the buck. Only one person to blame for that… myself. Getting double booked for a DJ gig, cut loose, then not using that freed up time to re-write a script I have to do? Again, my fault for doing nothing. A pattern was developing. I slowly saw the light. The reason my head was being wrecked? Not really a what, but a who. My own fault.

Most head wrecking part of all, was the simple ease of how I sorted myself out. Went to the gym. Came home. Had a shave. And I was fine again. Ha, some ape. That was it. My head was (and is) no longer wrecked. I could’ve done that yesterday. Head wrecking enough. 

Some songs, to fix your head, after bearing with all that venting…

MSTRKRFT

Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend) - MSTRKRFT

http://tinyurl.com/qb6lyt

Warm Heart Of Africa

Warm Heart Of Africa (ft. Ezra Koenig) - The Very Best

Just Plain Rude

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Rapid fire time, just to get them out, feeling funked and have to get up early tomorrow. Proper early too. As in 9 – 5 early. What a disaster. 

We all have people who come up to us when we’re out, and annoy the funk out of you. They think they’re hilarious, or its joint banter, or that you have any clue what they are actually on about. Or, if they are a girl, they seem to think you might like them deep down, so them being a complete ape, won’t really matter. Well, I found a nice subtle way to stop this from occurring. Without being too rude. In the real world at least.

Simple really. Just delete them from your online social networks. It works a treat. I stumbled upon it before with Bobo, and realized it had worked Saturday night too from a deleted Spacebook link. Happy days. The likelihood that someone will come up and ask “Did you delete me?” are very slim. And if they actually were to ask, then maybe they’re not as bad as you thought after all. At least they didn’t shy away and all that. I imagine quite a few people are deleting me right now as we speak. The good news is, that it will work!

One plus lately, is that the blog is serving one of its functions. That is, I do not have to repeat stories or incidents over and over to all of my buddies. Some of them actually read it, good work. If someone might ask me a question, and I reply with a sentence that is basically a summary of a blogaruu, they might cut me off with “Oh yeah, I read that actually.” Which is very handy. Good work by the blog. Obviously, on the other hand, they might have come up with a good way of just cutting off my boring story. One sentence is all they need to hear, before they feel themselves getting lulled in and a bout of boredom approaching, so just pretend to have read it. Good work by them.

In a similar vein, I can now use the blog to cull a potentially boring story, which I might be expected to sit through. If the story is set up for being crap, and deep down I am sure the storyteller knows it is a bad story as well, like a lot of mine are too, obviously, I can simply take out a notebook and pen, and start writing stuff down. This distracts the storyteller… “What are you writing down?” … Oh, I’m just going to do a blog later on how crap this story is, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, keep going. So far, this has worked well. It is win-win really, we both get a laugh, no crap story is mentioned, and he can then feel free to use “Good one, put that in your blog” in a sarcastic tone from there on in. 

Have you had ever had a full blown conversation with someone, and have no clue who they were? Happened to me earlier, while walking into a shop. Walking in, some random guy greets me with a knowing nod and “How’s it going man?!” So I greeted him back with a cautious nod, and tried to think of how I might know him. The first few things out of his mouth ticked a few boxes… “U.C.C… soccer… you were gone away a while were you? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you the other day.” Which, made me think, maybe, no this sounds right, I do know you actually, how is it going man?! Yeah, just back, baa, baa… all that jazz. Conversation veered off then a tad, when I was informed that “Joe opened up a new studio upstairs, are you still taking photos yourself?” Eh, you’re losing me a bit, photos? On my disposable camera or which? At this stage, I started thinking I might not know him after all. I was going to the first floor, he was going to the second, as I turned off, he gave me a good luck nod, and “I’ll see you at soccer tomorrow shur, you played well last week!”

“Played well” and “last week” confirmed my suspicions… he is not on about me, someone else entirely. I think the look of realization on my face, might have made him click on too, judging from his facial expression. Anyways, when I came back out of the shop, he was outside as well. Had to tell him… Buddy, I think we were way off with the conversation earlier, I’ve no clue who you are. “Yeah, I realized that as I went up the stairs. You must have the same hair as a friend of mine.” Good work by both of us. Good duck.

Final bit of gibberish, is about how some people are actually just plain rude. Seriously. On the train up to Dublin earlier, no matter how many times I pretended to be on the phone, or put my iPod on, or pretend to be asleep, this guy just insisted on starting up conversations with me. Just rude. Christofa, in future, please cop on.

The whole point of this gibberish. Unfortunately, I did not manage to get a slot in the open mic stand-up this Tuesday in Dublin. I had my 3 minute set almost good to go. However, instead, while coming up on the train, I was offered a 7 minute slot in their main show on Thursday. Oh Jesus. 7 minutes, if you do not know, is a big difference than preparing for a 3 minute one.

What you endured above were a few incidents that occurred over the past few days, that I had to rustle together on the train. Reason being, I now need to double my new material for the show. Unknowingly, Christofa got my brain working, good work by him. Quantity wise at least. Quality wise… dear God, I am funked. It will be a long, uncomfortable 7 minutes for all involved. I cannot wait!

Two songs to appease you after that funbelievable gibberish! (Give the first one a few seconds to kick in, patience people!)

Discovery

I Want You Back - Discovery

Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear

Bob Hope, Bob Dole, and Bob Hoff!

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I have yet to see the movie “The Hangover”. However, I have been told it is brilliant, hilarious, and some other complimentary adjective which eludes my tired brain at this point. So, after waking up this morning, it is safe to say that the movie is in no way related to, or set in, Ireland. Today was my first proper hangover since being home, and I woke up with the hope completely gone. Depressing, painful, and regretful, it would make a horrendous movie. Not even the regret of… oh no, not her, again. Even worse, the more common regret in Cork… ugh, why did I bother going out. Someone had burst my bubble, I was after being infected. However, I found a cure within minutes. Gay gym remix on! I was back again, oddly and annoyingly optimistic!

Speaking of which, I must say mucho gracias to Jim Magilton for hooking me up with le gymnasium. And, on an unrelated subject, how wonderful the gym in the hotel near my house is, you should really check it out if you can. Ha. Anyways, I figured out last night, that if someone uses the term “Ah, I’m only joking” after a statement made to you, they are, without a shadow of a doubt, not joking. It would appear to me as well, that some people have double standards when it comes to mocking, and being mocked back in return. As in ‘Jesus, your hair is atrocious” being retaliated with… Thanks, the smell of curry from your fake tan blends in nicely with your b.o…  to me, at least, is tit for tat. Others do not seem to think so. Bald people mocking my hair, on the other hand, is funny.

Another thing which I realized last night, and I am sure everyone knows this already, is that gimps who pretend to be buddy buddy with you when they are sober, then have as many snakey pops off you while they are drunk, are the biggest gimps of all. Ah, I’m only joking. Seriously though, funking apes. Final thing which I noticed, en route home, was that my cab man looked like he kept on dozing off at the wheel. Actually, he was dozing off at the wheel, there was no looked like it about it. It was bizarre. I think he was on heroine. Seriously. Ha. And, once again, I am only joking. Although, in his defense, I did most of the talking on the way home, so I might have bored him to sleep.

Since the last blogaruu, progress has been made on a few fronts. In case you might be wondering, like I am myself now, what these fronts are… 1. Getting back to L.A to shoot some scenes 2. Building up as many contacts as I can back here in Ireland 3. Acting/writing/stand-up/D.J opportunities. 

Getting back to L.A – a phone meeting was held with a visa lawyer in Yankland. Apparently there are 3 possible visa routes available to me, pending certain factors. Bizarrely, these are now related to writing and D.J’ing, looks like my Masters is no longer of any use, entertainer on! Since a few people were genuinely concerned for me last night about this department, I must ring back again tomorrow to learn more, so updates will be forthcoming. And, seeing as others were genuinely wanting me back out of Cork as soon as possible, those updates will also be for you.

Making contacts and networking – Firstly, people in Ireland do not give themselves enough credit. I am still split on why this is… modesty, or lack of confidence. Some people, if you ask them for advice, will modestly tell you that they don’t know anything, shur I’m only X, Y or Z. Yeah, actually, you’re far further up the ladder than I am, any help will do. Over in Hollywood, people are dispensing advice all over the place. Obviously a lot of it is waffle, but better to have too much advice thrown at you, then none at all.

Thinking about it, maybe them being modest is why they got a bit of success. Nothing worse than being a cocky fool, who thinks they know it all, and have nothing to back it up with. We all know plenty of fools like that. Just like… Moving on, some people have been hooking me up as well, giving me nuggets of info, so I have a few things lined up for this week up in Dubla. Boring, rambling update really, ha.

And as many fingers in as many pies update… my DJ’ing debut in the Emerald Isle is lined up next Saturday in Cork! Re de de, how will my laptop and I get on. Will people be baying for some gay gym remixes. Or will they want to bottle me for not playing proper rock. Or will people even show up. You must be so nervous for me. Oh. My. God. Like Rent, Spud, Sick Boy and my cab man last night, my cash flow is in need of the injection, so happy days. And, still waiting for it to be confirmed, but hopefully I’ll be making my stand-up debut up in Dublin this Tuesday. Which should be hilarious. In a bald people mocking my hair kind of way. Oh Jesus.

As my notebook have been full for the past few days, I have had nothing to write my gibberish down on and remind me of at a later date, so thats about it for now. I need a better phone too, where I can just write stuff at length into it, instead of having to save texts of gibberish to myself. If there is any Jim out there wanting to hook me up, think of the magnificent, hidden, shrouded plug you might get in return. Well worth it!

And, speaking of which, last bit… ALESSANDRO, there is your shout out for recommending a name for the book or sitcom. Just after remembering too, but seeing as one guy cried on the spot, a la acting class, and another quoted a few lines from the blog, CRYING DUDE and STRIPEY SHIRT, there are your mentions! Happy days all round. I am a big fan of yours too. Ah, I’m only joking.

Two songs of the weekend, from the same band which I only just found…

Miike Snow - Animal

Animal - Miike Snow

Faker - Miike Snow

Successfully Frustrated!

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Perhaps one of the best parts of today, just occurred. Whereby I just accidentally morphed two words into one. So I will start again, with my brand new word – that I am sure is used up and down the country already (although I never personally heard it in the past tense before) …

Tas been a frustrating day, so tas. Even though it did look like it was going to start so well. From a piece of information, that was mentioned in passing while setting up a meeting next week, I managed to stumble upon a potentially good networking event in Dublin next Tuesday. Trying to extract more information about the event from the source, however, turned out to be horrendously frustrating. Highly, highly bewildering to me in fact. Particularly when I am so clever when it comes to online stuff, E-Business as my background and all that. So much so, I even emailed the company, firstly asking for the withheld info, and also to let them know that their links do not work. Being so kind, and all. And then rang them, when they claimed that they were working.

However,  while I was pointing out my invalid points to them on the phone, I managed to figure out by myself, at the same time, that the links worked perfectly well. “Johnny Ape is on the phone again, telling us that the links don’t work”. They do. Perfectly well. In my dumb defence, I presumed that the links, which I clicked on 203 times in total (some ape!), were leading me to another web page. Nay, they were actually downloading the forms as Word documents. How do I know that I clicked on these links, fruitlessly, 203 times? As that was the number of documents I downloaded in total. Good work by me. (Again, in my dumb defence, my download window had been left open, and so, never highlighted that anything was being downloaded). If you want to see the conundrum I encountered, click on the first two links (2009 Open Day, and Acceptance Form) on this link… http://www.rte.ie/commissioning/news.html . See, very bewildering/obvious.

After lunch, things went down the successfully frustrating route. Figuratively speaking, I was rejected by two women. Blown out of it. In rapid fire succession as well. And, they didn’t even do it face to face. Or over the phone. Not even by text. Email! Email?! The dirty wh… I joke, I joke. Come to think of it though, I was actually rejected 3 times in quick succession, seeing as two different people, from the same company, emailed saying “Nay thank you”. Could be a good scene for the sitcom, a girl dumping me, then her friend coming back up to me, and repeating the news, just to rub it in “Just so you know, it is definitely not going to happen between ye. Go home loser.” Wh***s.

Seeing as I’ve gone with the whole rejection by women metaphor, I might as well plough on with it! So, unfortunately, like in real life, or in literal terms, if (and when)  a girl was to reject me, this has also had the opposite effect of discouraging, or disheartening me. Plenty more fish in the sea kind of thing! Spur on, can’t let one rejection (or 3, ha) get the spirits down. The key, it seems, is to try not to take it personally. If one girl (or 3… or guys if you are a girl reading) was to turn you down, would you just give up and not bother trying any more? Go off women, so to speak? Doubtful. On the other hand, if the answer to that question was “Yes”, I think my buddy Gym in Hollywood would love to meet you.

One thing I read today, amongst a load of other good stuff being honest, was this quote, which is always banded around L.A, in one form or another. 

“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

See, any old talentless, dumb, uneducated fool can do it. Obviously, instead of “press”, use the word “plough” but the gist would be the same. Anyways, enough with the Gym like quotes, I need my beauty sleep. If I am to be rejected by any more women tomorrow, I at least want to be looking well!

Before I burst with frustration, song of the day…

Rest My Chemistry - Interpol

Rest My Chemistry - Interpol

Waist Size?

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As the title will clearly show, as you will eventually read further down, it might be fair to say, that in creative terms, the ball might not bounce as highly for me in Cork, as it might in L.A. 3 factors which I noticed are no longer as frequent outside my window are: The blistering heat; ridiculously hot women I might recognize from t.v or a movie, and; men fixing their eyebrows, while carrying their poodles. Those 3 things alone would lower the bounce a notch or two down for anyone! So, for the time being, I’ll have to dance the blog around the peculiarities of Cork perhaps, while sticking with the progress on the momentum that I am trying to build before my return to L.A. 

Seeing that so many steps were made yesterday, it was bound to happen that today was a bit slower. Still, I managed to make further inroads into meetings with people in t.v stations, publishers, finance injections for the trip back, and other small, necessary tasks. Business side to be done in Ireland. Nothing significantly different since yesterday though. I did, however, see that there is an open mic up in Dublin next Tuesday, which I shall try to make. Re de de, could be my stand-up debut in Ireland. I presume all the jokes specifically tailored for the American audience would work just as well here. If not, I always have my new joke in Arabic to fall back on.

One thing I have noticed since being back, and I also noticed when I headed up to San Fran for a while from L.A, is the amount of time people waste dodging each other. It is ridiculous, an unreal waste of time. Plus credit. And, also, good excuses. Particularly when both parties are plainly avoiding one another, ha. Ehh, I’m back wherever for a while so I better give X a text, just to say whats going on… or… from the other side “ehhh, he’s back here, so I better give him a text, just to say whats going on”. Then you continue to dodge back and forth, pointlessly… We should meet up… “Busy this weekend, next week?”… I’m up the walls then, shucks… “No problem, I’ll give you a call tomorrow morning about, we can sort it out then”. Yeah, even though its half 10 at night now, call me tomorrow morning about next week, as a lot will have changed by then… Ha, it is beyond belief pointless!

If you want to meet up with someone, you will without doubt easily do it. Otherwise, just a complete waste of time with the excuses. And its not that I no longer like that person, or that I think the other person really dislikes me now either (not saying it could easily be that for them!). Just are either of us really that bothered to go out of our way for a forced meeting? Nay, grow apart and dodge on! Not sure about you, but I notice how easy it is to make great plans with someone, when you’re not in the same city as them. You almost become better friends with them, now that you don’t see each other, strange enough. Different story then when you’re within 20 minutes of each other. It is bad enough, in a why bother at all kind of way.

Almost as bad as biting the bullet and getting a bus, train, and tram for 2 hours, just to meet someone. As if you had to do it. Then sit through the forced friendship meeting, bored as you think you were forced into it, probably wishing you were back on your computer writing up a great blog, or the scene for the sitcom that you just thought of. Debatable which is worse. (Unfortunately, this happened to me, obviously. Also a worrying sign that the blog entries have that effect on me, ha). 

So, that was one way which I noticed myself wasting part of my day today. On the other hand, another part of my day was definitely not wasted, in the slightest (maybe in a good waste way, at the most). I’ve been trying fruitlessly to put these songs up for a while. However, the lack of Youtube videos forced me into learning this new method. I now know how to embed songs onto the blog. Isn’t that just great news?! Took me long enough. After thinking it was far, far harder than it was, eventually I got there. Like all things these days, trail by error.

Now glorious songs like this will be put up, the freshest of new music! Although, now that I see it laid out, the lack of the video visual is a bit of a negative. Let me know which you prefer. I’m sure the comments shall be flying in! Or, could make it, eh, purchasable. Anyways, I must go get my sleep on, must get up early and nip a dodge in the bud!

Free Energy

Dream City - Free Energy

After seeing that photo above, and listening to the song, creativity can be drawn from anywhere it seems! Bubble on!

Discovery

Carby (featuring Ezra Koenig) - Discovery