LonDumb – Part II

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Charles II

Continuing on from LonDumb – Part I …

It’s A Long Way To Tipperary – Little Green Cars

What do you call a ponder pipe that just lays around all day? Mopey Dick. Badum. My first day in London, I was moping like no other. Woke up early. Phoned the prison. Spoke to Kailand. Told me her news – “They keep giving us bananas and milk for meals, I’m hooked on the milk.” Slurp. Filled her in on my news – US Embassy said there’s nothing they can do, magistrates decision so just have to sort it out when you get home. Some dose. Slurp. Kailand is upset. But still. Her spirits are high. Night’s sleep always helps in fairness. Or else they were spiking the milk.

It was then realised that it must be hard to keep conversations flowing with people in prison. Both had filled the other in in detail what had happened since we saw each other last (about 24 hours ago). After that, our news seemed insignificant or non-existence. I’d phone back and Kailand would tell me she had a nice non-English speaking conversation with an Indian woman about milk. I’d inform Kailand that the hotel room was nice but all the TV stations seemed to be showing was the Big Bang Theory. Then Kailand had to go to get more milk. I’d phone back. Find out if the milk was really cold or room temperature. Called off again to go brush her teeth if she wanted to. Phone back again and then… I was told Kailand had been taken away. Being brought back to the airport. Put on a flight. Which flight? Wouldn’t tell me? What time? Hung up on me. Dose. Wouldn’t speak to Kailand about milk again until she was back in L.A, eating some Thanksgiving turkey and egg nog. So that was a balls. Continue Reading »

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Enough Talk, More Music!!!

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In case you did not know: Having a book turns you into the biggest whure of all time. Media kind, at least. Probably the horrifically annoying kind as well. Still though, needs be. Whure on. Word out. Mouths open. Eyes reading. Unsurprisingly, it is a bucket of fun. Being on tour. Acting the whure. Past two weeks have been giddy up and go. From dodgy Armenians, to Japanese comic books, to seeing, to believing, to readings, to signings, to launches, to radio, to press, to photos, to tabloids, to broupies, to selling out, to sold out, to directors, to boxes, to randomly walking past Woody Harrelson in a hotel lobby, chilling on a couch, reading my book. Shoes off, book on. As you do. To all that. Along with everything which may somehow be in between all of that gibberish. Pretty much non-stop. Big buckets of dumb fun, to be true. To. Be. True. Also quite time consuming. Being a whure. Out on tour. Meaning flogging my collection of words has lead to a drying up of blogaruus. Not good for the second book. Until time can be found, a filler of music shall have to duu. On the plus side, these songs are all pre-tty savage. Anyways, enough talk, more music! Continue Reading »

Enough Talk, More Music!!!

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Losing your drive is a balls. Especially if it affects your… eh. At least there’s viagra for that. Not too sure why. But as of late. I have lost my drive to scribble down my gibberish. Blogaruu has taken a back seat. Missing chapters. Which is a balls. Particularly as more has been going on, since the book is out of my big galoot hands. Good blogaruus are building back up. Need to get my churning boots back on. Missing out on gems! Good Friday was a great Friday. Folfing up in Beverly Hills. Today was pretty cool as well. Running around rooftops in Hollywood. Stories are building up. And yet. For some reason. I am limp. Flop. Which is a balls. Drive will have be be brought back somehow. May need to add more chili peppers to my diet. Anyways, enough talk, more music! Continue Reading »