Pumping. Spinning. Sweating. Oh Jesus, What Have We Done Jim?!!!


Priority number one at the moment is to find a job. The movie career has been put on hold until this has been accomplished. One needs to have money for food, and all. Here are my highly promising and highly stable job possibilities, which I have lined up at the moment:

1. Design a website for a DJ/club promoter, who actually asked me would I design it, but since then has been dodging me;

2. Fix and update a website for a film festival, but I think they think I will do it for free in return for my company (?) getting free advertising;

3. Selling shamwows;

4. DJ’ing and promoting in a bar/restaurant after hours, but still no meeting lined up with the owner, and, finally;

5. DJ’ing in the gym I go to, ha, probably the most likely of them.

This is the best I can muster up it seems, my degree and masters are being fully used to the highest degree. I am useless.

Moving on, yesterday the dude working in the gym, Jim we’ll call him, asked me to drop in a demo of the music which I would play to liven the place up. I should probably mention now my DJ’ing skills consist of having good music, and bob all mixing. I bought a mixer once, never used it, and ended just blending songs in on my iTunes whenever needed, I was quite the DJ wizard. I only had one blank CD to burn my demo onto, so just had the one shot at it really, great preparation. I chose my top 5, stuck them on the CD and got a quick tutorial from my DJ buddy for any lingo I may need if asked. Equipment, mixers, sound cards, song bits, sound checks, bits of card, plugs, wires, blenders, I was well equipped to spoof on if needed. In return for the tutorial I said I would give his podcast a mention, http://tantricdex.podomatic.com/. 

Up to the gym I go, I was pumped, the songs I picked were rocking, perfect for the gym. Jim greets me trying to pound fists, I give him paper, we’re off to a good start. “Thanks Merrick, I’ll have a listen and let you know.” Funk that, throw it on now Jim, I need a job!!! He doesn’t know how to use the equipment behind the desk, so says he’ll listen to it in the room they use for the spinning classes and let me know. Jim, listen to it now and tell me, I’m on my last few coppers. I manage to get him to go to the spinning room there and then to listen to the CD. 

We get into the spinning room, he tells me to have a seat. As there are only bikes in the room, I sit on a bike. He sits on a bike at the top of the class, next to the CD player, and turns my demo on. We were on the road. First song is brilliant, an indie remix. It gets me pumped straight away. Jim has an ear cocked to the music, his head starts to bop, he is feeling the tune. It is then that I notice I have started to cycle the bike I’m sitting on, the music got me going. The song is really kicking in, I’m pedaling a bit more, I notice Jim has started too.

I snap out of the pedaling “Next song Jim, it is even better!”. Song 2 is put on, which is even more rocking. We’re both pedaling a bit, his head is bopping like a toy dog on a dashboard, fingers clicking, I’m pedaling faster, he is pedaling faster, this is the greatest demo ever! Third song the beat slows a bit. However, once it kicks in, Jim is funking loving it. Clapping his hands, pumping them out, gay head bopping around as if Madonna was in the room, he’s pedaling, the music has me pedaling, I couldn’t stop, I made the demo too good!

At this stage I am getting worried. I know the fourth and fifth song are better than the first three. The fourth is a French house song, funking savage, almost too good though is what I’m thinking, this is veering off into something I was not expecting. He had asked if I could make the demo have a European vibe, something different, so when he hears the French lyrics, he almost squeals like a girl/pig, and starts pedaling away furiously. His shoulders are shrugging like a gay robot, he is pumping the air with his hands, loving it! I realize then that I can’t stop pedaling, the music has me hooked, you try sit on a bike and not pedal with that music playing! At this stage we are pedaling in synch, to the music, to the beat, faster, faster, oh Jesus, this is the best part of the song, it is really going to kick in “Change the song Jim, change it, song 5, Jim, quick, stop this!”

Jim puts on the final song. I know how good it is, so start to feel very nervous and afraid. I’m starting to feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead, I have to stop pedaling in synch, it’s like we are one, oh Jesus, why did I make this demo so good! The final song is building up, Jim at this stage has his lips pursued, eyes closed, head back in the air, legs pumping, hands in the air still squealing. I’m cycling in synch to the music, and with Jim, what is going on, turn it off Jim, turn it off, I didn’t know this was going to happen, it was only meant to be a demo!!! The song is kicking in for the last time, the big chorus, the last hurrah, this is what it was all about. I can’t resist any longer, no energy to hold back, I just give in and go with the music. My hands are in the air, legs pumping to the beat, biting my lip, this is the greatest song ever, my head is bopping, wuu, eyes shut tight, work it out, feel the beat, oh jesus, is this some sort of gay sex, what is going on!!!

Finally, the song finishes up. I feel naked and exposed, sweating, red head, dizzy, gasping for air, thank God I stopped at five songs! Jim sparks up a cigarette, looks at me, and tells me “That was good, I enjoyed it, good work.” Oh sweet Lord, what just happened? Why did I not play the usual mundane crap they have on repeat in there instead. I felt violated, are we meant to hug now? Jim tells me he’ll call me, he must let the other manager hear it as well and they’ll work out a schedule if she likes it too. He hasn’t called me yet. The bastard used me.

On my way out I got some better news at least, I have a new target. Holly Valance is also a member of my gym, although she wasn’t looking the May West I must say. Not to worry though, hopefully for her, if I get the job, she will have my music pumping her on and she’ll be back to her best in no time. I just better not have been used for a quick demo, I feel so cheap.

Two songs of the day. I couldn’t find the French one on Youtube that tipped the scale so here’s the first song that got the ball rolling… Viva La Vida (DiscoTech Remix) by Coldplay

Second one is a Kings of Leon remix also included… Sex On Fire (Richard Sharkey & Peter Sar Remix)

I was actually going to put a 6th song on at the end, as a joke, but at the last minute decided not to, just in case they didn’t see the funny side of it. The song was, and this is not a lie, Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham. Thank funk I didn’t.

Actually Neil, They’re Swedish…

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So yesterday was a highly productive day. Highly. I got a call in the afternoon asking me if I wanted to audit another one of Aaron Speiser’s classes. I said I would, it was free, I’m not starting the other class full on until the start of April, might as well get the free ones in until then. So, having that lined up for 7.30, I killed the day getting some ridiculously good music remixes from obscure parts of the web. I had planned going back to DJ AM next week and wowing him with my mixes, or at least the ones I had found. Might see if he’s up for starting a collaboration, AM/PM perhaps, he could do with the exposure. I had a lot of free time on my hands yesterday to think of all this.

Anyways, while I’m getting stuck into the music, I remember I must text the writer I met last night who had a movie or two made already. He had given me his number so I could text him the name of the documentary I rambled on about. I had asked and taken it hoping he’d end up writing a new role for me in any upcoming projects. Surely he would, we both liked soccer after all! We were on different wavelengths to be true, so I didn’t have a clue what it was I was hoping he’d do but must text him at least to suss it out. So, I send him a text about the documentary (Black Star, about Michael Essien). I leave a question at the end of the text, he can’t just get away with a “Cheers bud” now if he texts back. I also recommend another documentary I’ve seen recently (Waltz with Bashir) if he ever got free time he should go see it, unreal, great movie etc etc. It wasn’t until after I press send and re-read the text that I realize it has the air of me almost asking him out to go see it again. Almost has the air of me asking him on a date. The job. Exactly what I was trying to convey. I do not recommend sending important texts when hungover.

Lo and behold, I get a positive reply. He cant find the doc on Blockbusters though, do I have a copy he could borrow? I’m thinking, I give him a copy of the movie, he gives me a movie role, fair swap. But I have no copy of it. And it’s not on Youtube. I checked. Or Amazon. I checked. Perhaps I could get onto my friend at home and see if he could get me a copy of it. Has he ever seen the documentary “The Bridge” as well by the way. He really should. It’s class. That is on Youtube. So, while he’s probably expecting a simple “Yes, I have a copy”, or, “No, I don’t”, I take option C. The long rambling text which is more or less the length of this paragraph explaining the above. About 4 texts sent as one. One of those great texts I send now and again, then after think a phone call might’ve been better.

Surprisingly, I get no reply. Come to think of it, I’m still not used to my new phone. I’m still in the stage where I can’t yet walk and text at the same time with it. Or I’m still texting with both hands, not used to the buttons. Did the text actually send? I got no delivery report. I better send it again. Sent. Oh yeah, I don’t get reports on this phone. Great work by me, bombard him with rambling texts. Good duck to that lead anyways I’d say. I have to say though, thats another hurdle I must figure out how to get over. Texting or ringing someone who could give me a break – Do I just say…Hook me up, or do I end up recommending a morbid documentary about suicides (The Bridge) in a rambling text? I’ll try hook me up next time, trial and error!

After a mixed bag of a day, delighted with the new music, annoyed by my inability to text a lead, Aaron Speiser’s office call me again to confirm the class. Yeah, I’ll be there, can’t wait to work with Aaron again, can’t wait to hear who he’s worked with lately too. Pardon? It’ll be $50 this time. Oh right, usually people don’t get so many free audits. Oh right. Yeah, yeah, I’ll still be there, you have a really great day too…Sure I’ll be there.

So I Google map his studio again. Its a good hour’s walk from my place. Or a $40 dollar round trip cab. Plus the $50 for the class on top, is $90 really worth it? Eh, nope. While on Google maps, I stick in acting classes near my house. There’s actually one close-by that I haven’t tried yet, Lee Strasberg. I manage to get myself in to audit a class that night, the day has not been fully lost. I’ll write a separate post on that class as it was highly, highly, highly weird and entertaining so might ramble on a bit.

I get out of that class about 10 o’clock. I had been asked to go onto the Neil Prendeville show at 2.15 my time at night, but never got a confirmation email about it so presumed it wasn’t going ahead. What to do. I’ve loaded up on coffee and red bull to get me through the long acting class so I’m pumped to do something. I go meet a few randomers I met somewhere, someplace before and have a few drinks. Good buddies of mine, cant remember their names though. I head home about half 11 and have a few more drinks with my roommates. About 1 I get a text from a random Swedish girl with an appealing offer…”At a villa in the hills, lots of booze, my 3 other Swedish friends are here, you should come! We have a hot-tub!” As my friend pointed out to me, why did I have to mention the Swedish part. No offence, but, for example, if I was to say I got invited to a hot-tub party with 4 Mongolian girls, it wouldn’t have the same ring to it. Plus, they’re actually Swedish so it was just the facts. Anyways, they give me the address so I can Google map it and suss it out. It’s while I’m on my laptop checking this out, that I see I have an email from the 96FM show. They’ll be calling in about half an hour after all. I thought I’d get a bit more notice. Was hoping to get my antidotes and stories in order. Have a bit of cohesion to my ramblings. Put on some nice clothes and comb my hair for it. No time for any of that. I sip on my can and mull over what to do. Swedes or Neil Prendeville. Swedes or Neil. I think I’m living in this area too long. I turn down the Swedes, or Mongolian girls, whichever you prefer, for Neil. There’s always the next night. Duu.

I think I’ll liven up my day by texting the writer, Kami, Tami, and the Bucket all the same rambling text to see if I can get any reply, so both of my hands are needed for it. I’ll write about the acting class I was at last night later on or tomorrow. Here’s two of those cool remixes I found…
Breaking It Up (Pocketknife’s Loosefoot Remix) by Lykke Li (She has some savage songs and she’s from Mongolia!).

And Knocked Up (Lykke Li vs Rodeo Remix) by Kings of Leon.